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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my friend is a tight arse???

575 replies

FataliePorkman · 15/04/2017 18:20

Just been out for lunch with three friends and our DCs- the children all had the same (lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake) but us adults ate/drank varying amounts. Two of the friends are a couple and the other is single like me. Let's call her Joan.

3/4 of us shared a bottle and extra glass of wine and 2 soft drinks. Joan didn't drink as she lives further away from the pub than us so was driving.
We all had a starter and a main course and then we got a chessboard to share between us- but only me and the couple had some. Joan had 3 DC with her, I have 3 DC and the couple have 1 DC.

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Awkward tension followed- Joan paid for her meal and her DC while me and my other two friends split the bill.

AIBU to think she is a bit tight??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BellyDancer124 · 15/04/2017 21:36

I love this thread Grin #teamjoan

glumbumm · 15/04/2017 21:42

Oh do fuck off ya greedy bastards with your wine and ya facking stinky bishop

juneybean · 15/04/2017 21:42

Haha Caleb that's exactly what I think of when I hear the name Joan.

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 21:43

sorry, but I think it is pretty vulgar to expect a non-drinking friend to subsidise the drinkers, or for someone who eats less/eats less expensive stuff, to subsidise the ones who want to eat more expensive things!

I always always order the biggest steak on the menu. I don't eat steak at home as I can never get it as lovely as restaurants (particularly, TGI Fridays Grin ) so I tend to argue against a split sometimes as everyone else gets cheaper stuff. Also at TGIs I often have 2+ large 'purple rain'. Its absolutely fucking lovely but a tenner a go.

Cannot imagine getting my usual order and expecting others to subsidize my expensive tastes.

As I say a few times I have been all 'oh no let me pay for my own' when a split has been brought up as I know I have spent more than everyone else. Was shouted down like and ended up just putting extra on the tip as I felt bad Grin So the server won the day

TizzyDongue · 15/04/2017 21:45

At a rough estimate (and assuming the adults ate same priced starters and mains) Joan's share should have been less then a quarter, OP's around a third and the couples about 40%.

Can see why everyone but Joan was down with splitting three ways.

#teamjoan

Jeaniusly · 15/04/2017 21:47

Gin or wine consumed here yet?

Well I had a bottle of Merlot shared with Sis, and it is great. We are still laughing at the stingy bills thing.

I still think communication and expectations are the key.

That was to sound normal LOL.

shyturnip · 15/04/2017 21:48

Joan all the way

thebakerwithboobs · 15/04/2017 21:49

I'm not just Team Joan, I AM frigging Joan! I don't drink when I go out and as an ex very fat person i only ever have a max of two courses when I go out, usually only a main. It isn't me being tight, and actually it's not even me trying to work to a budget, it's just me not wanting to subsidise everyone else, especially when it never comes back to me (not because I have shit friends, but because I never drink when out and never eat more than two courses). As I think the OP is actually Joan, may I suggest you simply lay your cards on the table at the beginning of the night? Just say 'I'm only going to have a couple of picky bits, so do you mind if I pay separately?' Job done.

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 15/04/2017 21:51

I don't eat steak at home as I can never get it as lovely as restaurants (particularly, TGI Fridays grin )

Jesus Christ alive, I cannot let this go. Buy your steak from a decent butcher and follow Raymond Blanc's recipe: www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/steakmamanblancwiths_85136

Eat that and you wouldn't piss on the TGI one.

Wando1986 · 15/04/2017 21:51

Oh sod off OP. I find it more rude to expect others to foot your bill just because it's easier for you. No. You pay for what you have. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp? Biscuit

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 21:52

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Ahh I missed this part actually. OF COURSE it was one of the couple who decided to split 3 ways. Sneaky bastards Grin

Andylion · 15/04/2017 21:53

*Like I said, communication about these things is so important. If everyone knows BEFORE the bill arrives that each person/couple pays for their own and their kids consumption on the day that is great and everyone knows what to expect.
*

So if discussed beforehand everyone knows not to expect their meal to be subsidized and will order accordingly?

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 21:58

Eat that and you wouldn't piss on the TGI one.

I shall try this thanks. Whenever I make steak I cannot get it medium as I worry myself about poisoning (I dont worry about that if someone else cooks it?!) and it often ends up looking like a grey slab of plastic. Even after buying one of those griddle pan things. Mind I am one of those people who could burn a salad...DH cooks mostly in this house. But he won't touch red meat as the blood or even sight of raw red meat makes him gag Sad

Actually just yesterday..I was putting the beef joint in the slow cooker and he was going on about how if I dropped any blood I must clean it (as if I wouldn't Hmm) then DSD went in to make some beans on toast. Then DH went into the kitchen...started gagging, ran out the back door, threw up then went upstairs to continue puking, all white and shakey. He came down, I asked him what was wrong and he said I had left some 'flesh and blood' on the floor in the kitchen. I knew I hadn't but indulged him and went to look. DSD had dropped a fucking bean. Yes, DH threw up because there was a bean on the floor.

I made sure I told his cousin about this and he has been teased all day. bloody ridiculous...Grin

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 21:59

Sorry for going offtopic. I want to tell that story to everyone as I find it ridiculous and funny at the same time. My husband threw up because a baked bean was on the floor.

margarethamilton · 15/04/2017 22:00

I think freeloaders rely on perceived social etiquette to rip off their friends tbh.

This! Been subject to this behaviour by twat of an ex colleague.

#teamjoan

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2017 22:01

Sounds like your DH might need some help with that phobia, monkey ...

TizzyDongue · 15/04/2017 22:04

Was it approaching him and looking sinister WankingMonkey?

(Though seriously is it a baked bean phobia or food on the floor?

lazycrazyhazy · 15/04/2017 22:09

Going against the grain here but I think when you go out with friends you split the bill equally. Some you win some you lose. My DH has never drunk alcohol but we wouldn't dream of making such an awkward situation. The only way I could see it being ok would be if it was ore-agreed. "I'm so skint at the moment I can only come if I just pay for what I consume". Did she even pay towards service/tip?

Oblomov17 · 15/04/2017 22:10

OP?
Joan ?

And poof. She's gone. Quelle surprise!!

The couple suggested this? Bet they did. 2 lots of meals, wine and cheese.

Whereas Joan had no wine, no cheese, just her and her cheaper meals for her dc.

Guess who is worse off if the bill is split 3 ways? And no. We don't need carol vorderman. We can ALL work that one out!!

WankingMonkey · 15/04/2017 22:11

Though seriously is it a baked bean phobia or food on the floor?

Blood. He is seriously queezy about blood. Even papercuts can make him lighteaded

dustarr73 · 15/04/2017 22:14

I'm half and half.People forget soft drinks in a restaurant are nearly the same as alcohol.Pllus she had 3 kids.Im sure if she added up there's probably a few quid in the difference.

The thing i don't get though is not sticking up for yourself when you're being g fleesed.If you only had salad and tap water,just pay for that.Dont substidise for other people.

AvaCrowder2 · 15/04/2017 22:16

My friends are so good about this, I've never had an awkward conversation. Well one time, but that was my mum's tight friends.

My dh had paid for the meal+ drinks for about twenty four people, my mums friend blocked his exit until he had paid his share. He had to explicitly say that he had paid for the whole thing. Which he didn't want to, he just wanted to get out and to the pub with our closer family.

Chloe84 · 15/04/2017 22:18

Jeaniusly

Still waiting for the savings from a bottle of vino and a cheeseboard divided by three.

You keep posting about the wine and cheese, but you don't seem to grasped that Joan was expected to subsidise another adult's meal as well.

MrsMeeseeks · 15/04/2017 22:21

Loving the baked bean story. Grin I did something similar when I was a teenaged vegetarian and saw a white bag in my mum's kitchen, oozing 'blood'. It was defrosting blackberries!

Jeaniusly · 15/04/2017 22:24

Chloe,

Joan and the Op have six kids amongst them, the so called stinge couple had one.