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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Two Week Old Baby Queries

76 replies

AlexLouisa01 · 14/04/2017 23:18

My wife and I have a two week old son who sleeps for about five hrs in 24 in three or four stints and feeds for hrs. He is currently on his 5th hr of feeding. Is this OK? Also Louisa is starting to crack with the lack of sleep. Do you definitely have to wait for a month before you can start feeding with a bottle?

OP posts:

IndiaGrace · 14/04/2017 23:24

You can feed with a bottle any time. Go for it.

MiniMaxi · 14/04/2017 23:25

Congratulations on your new arrival!

5 hours sleep in 24 doesn't sound like much at all... Of course a newborn won't sleep through the night but could he nap more through the day?

You can feed with a bottle whenever you like - there are no rules! I can't comment on how it impacts breastfeeding but for various reasons our son has been on formula since birth and he's thriving!

Unihorn · 14/04/2017 23:25

Wait a month before feeding with a bottle, sorry what? You can feed with a bottle whenever. Do you mean will it affect the baby's latch if they have a bottle in addition to breastfeeding? The most important thing is that the baby is fed.

Babies that young generally sleep 16-20 hours a day but colic, allergies, reflux etc can affect this.

LittleOwl153 · 14/04/2017 23:26

Yep all sounds normal to me - little monkeys can be very demanding! Might be worth her asking midwife/health visitor to check baby's latch as a poor latch can extend feeding times but some (like my ds) can just feed all day!

The bottle thing has a lot of mixed reviews. The premise behind waiting 4 weeks is to ensure feeding is established and to reduce risk of baby rejecting bf afterwards. You could try a cup or a spoon though if your aim is to give her a break.

Grenoble124 · 14/04/2017 23:28

My lb cluster fed for hours. It gets better. It's best not to express before six weeks as supply is being established.

Are you co sleeping? I recommend it. Bf is the best thing I have ever done. Stick with it and do as much as you can so she only has to worry about feeding baby.

angelikacpickles · 14/04/2017 23:28

Does the baby really only sleep for 5 hours in 24? Or do you mean that he sleeps for a 5 hour stretch? It is not usual for a baby to sleep only 5 hours total per day. How is his weight gain? Cluster feeding on and off for hours is very normal but there should eventually be a period of sleep afterwards. Constant feeding with no periods of satiety could be a sign of a milk transfer problem.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 14/04/2017 23:30

He's only sleeping for five hours total in a period of 24 hours? No, that's not normal.

Long feeds can be normal but combined with the lack of sleep this would worry me. Please contact your midwife/ health visitor.

How is his weight?. Im a huge breastfeeding supporter, but it IS possible for a child not to be getting enough - if he's crying a lot and not gaining weight please give a bottle in the meantime, just to be sure

ToffeeForEveryone · 14/04/2017 23:32

That doesn't sound like enough sleep for a little un. Is he definitely awake when feeding? I'd check with the midwife, there may be tongue tie or some other issue that means hes not getting enough.

At that age my DS would wake as soon as he came off boob, so we gave him a dummy.

Also, you can give a bottle whenever you want. If you leave it too late there's a good chance baby won't take to bottles, so if you are planning to mix feed or move to formula introducing bottles early is a positive imo. We did one bottle of expressed milk a day from about 3 weeks.

BuntyCollocks · 14/04/2017 23:33

How is baby's weight gain? Have they been checked for tongue tie? It may be a growth spurt. Baby's have days where they will sit and feed and feed and feed in order to up mum's milk supply ... but if this has been from the get go, I'm concerned about an inefficient latch/transfer of milk and tongue tie.

That isn't enough sleep for a newborn. You should be looking at about 16 hours a day if I remember correctly, possibly more?

It is not failure to give formula. Her mental health is more important than breastfeeding. Fed is best (and I say that as a mum who beat herself up horribly with her first baby when we had issues feeding).

Don't push anything on her ... but I'd give your midwife a call. You should still be under their care, and even if you're not, they should still pop round with a concern like this so soon off the bat.

Grenoble124 · 14/04/2017 23:42

Fed is not best. It's the bare minimum. But if you think the baby is hungry rather than cluster feeding and your wife wants to continue breastfeedong then only top up until you manage to speak to a lactation consultant and health professional. Five hours sleep is very little though. There are breastfeeding solutions to most breastfeeding problems so do seek help.

LittleOwl153 · 14/04/2017 23:42

Depending on how your wife feels about it, you might want to try a formula feed just to take the pressure off. Might settle him for a while enough to sleep a bit. My midwife kept pushing this, suggesting milk hadn't come in strong enough yet but I resisted so i'm not saying it is only option. (So long as ds is awake/alert for good periods rather than floppy and sleepy then he is getting enough)
Also perhaps not this late, but have you tried simply distracting him. Let him finish a feed then stick him in pushchair and walk! Worked for a friend with a cluster feeder. The only time her dd wasn't feeding she was in a moving Pushchair!

Big thing for you is to keep supporting her, ask more questions here if you want too / need to. Seek help from mw if you continue to be concerned. It will get easier - it will probably just feel a long time coming!

Grenoble124 · 14/04/2017 23:43

Does baby have plenty of wet amd dirty nappies?

JollyRodger · 14/04/2017 23:47

Maybe you could try a dummy? I personally wouldn't introduce formula yet if mum wants to continue breastfeeding. It sounds like the baby is using her for comfort.

honeylulu · 14/04/2017 23:52

I doubt your baby is actually feeding for all that time. Some babies are very "sucky" and like to use mum's nipple as a dummy!
I followed the baby whisperer advice and only allowed a latch for 45 mins max, then swapped for a dummy. Her advice was that even a very small, very hungry baby should be emptying the breast by 45 mins and anything after that is comfort sucking.
My babies were 6lbs and 5lbs respectively and the advice did them no harm.
You can supplement with a bottle at any time though.

BlackeyedSusan · 15/04/2017 01:29

day three with dc 2, took one look at their chomping hard gums and thought he is not going back on as it fucking hurts. so he got a bottle. every third feed. also built up the feeds again when things had recovered a bit and was not so painful.

midwife said he would give up breast feeding if I mixed fed. he did. exactly 2.5 YEARS later.

also mixed fed. (number1) as she was feeding for something like 21 times perday. we were thrilled at getting it down to 12-13 times per day. she is a lot older now, we query dyspraxia, definitely hypermobile, so issues were there at the start.

has anyone checked for tongue tie?

also you wife just feeds, you do everything else so she can sleep. bring her food, drinks, more food and drink that she can eat one handed. do the nappies etc when you are home.

BillSykesDog · 15/04/2017 01:42

Fed is not best. It's the bare minimum

Actually a child not getting sufficient nutrition and a mother so tired and struggling so much she's tipping into PND is a lot worse so I wouldn't describe a child being fed as 'the bare minimum' but often the best option for the well being of the whole family.

But who cares when you can direct some unecessary smuggery towards a mother who is struggling eh?

ButtMuncher · 15/04/2017 01:51

I'll take bare minimum and a healthy, thriving baby over a catatonic, borderline psychotic mother who hasn't slept for 5 days, Grenoble. I hardly think ensuring both mother and baby are surviving healthily can be constituted as anything other than the correct way of parenting, BF or not. No wonder so many of us new Mums have guilt

(Besides, what's wrong with combi-feeding?)

showmeislands · 15/04/2017 03:10

I have a two week old baby who is breastfed and he is feeding a LOT at present! Hours and hours in the evening. Midwife who came yesterday said he has hit the 2 week growth spurt and it'll be like this for a couple days. He has gained weight so there's no supply issues; he is just cluster feeding and that's quite normal.

What's your baby's weight like? Have midwife/ health visitor had any concerns? If all is fine on that front then I think it's quite normal to be feeding a lot. Remember babies suck for reasons other than hunger/thirst as well, some of it may just be sucking for comfort.

Unless there are weight issues indicating your baby isn't getting enough, I wouldn't give a bottle at this age, I would wait a month until breast feeding is more established in order to avoid nipple confusion. That's the advice I got from professionals anyway.

Original poster

AlexLouisa01 · 15/04/2017 03:27

Wow. Thanks guys. I was not expecting all that. He has slept for two hrs now, fed for 40 min but won't go down to his bed. His weight was OK last Wednesday and he has heavy nappies about six to eight times a day, but he does not want to sleep.

Does anybody have an idea on how to get our baby to sleep in the cot without wanting to get out two minutes later?

I was talking about bottle feeding him breast milk so Louisa could get a decent break. Do I still need to wait a month? I will take her to the breast feeding class on Monday.

OP posts:

seven201 · 15/04/2017 03:28

Giving bottles this early can affect milk supply and can confuse babies a bit so it's possible they may start rejecting the breast. But only 5 hours total sleep a day for a newborn isn't enough. Ring the midwife or health visitor tomorrow to get some advice. Co-sleeping saved me as I just could not keep my eyes open for the first few weeks.

seven201 · 15/04/2017 03:33

Cross posted with you. A lot of babies won't go down in a cot this young. They like to be on someone, sorry! Have you got a sleepyhead? They help as the baby feels a bit more snuggled in. Swaddling (didn't work for mine though)? If not safe co-sleeping. Have you heard of the 4th trimester? Will the baby fall asleep if walked in the pram? Mine would fall asleep in a carrier (which you're not meant to do when little) and then I could transfer her into the sleepyhead.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 15/04/2017 03:34

Do you use a dummy? Unless baby is the Hulk, I think he's using her boobs as a pacifier. Either that or she has crazy milk production and you have one hungry baby. I would flag it up with HV/Dr as mine slept through loads.

If she wants to continue feeding have you thought of a cot that has one side off next to bed so baby can nurse away and your DW can sleep?

Be prepared for baby to kick off that they can smell Mummy, so you can shove the bottle up your hole Dad, I want boobies.

I guess that's the downside of BF you don't know if they're actually feeding for 5 hours, where with a bottle you know there's 3/4oz. Does baby dream feed, or is alert all the way through.

Redyellowpinkblue · 15/04/2017 03:34

He might not be comfortable lying flat. My daughter literally couldn't settle in a moses basket or cot lying flat. We bought a sleepyhead/poddlepod in the end.
Also cosleeping works wonders, was a lifesaver for me!

FairytalesAreBullshit · 15/04/2017 03:38

If Louisa is absolutely bleeding knackered, you don't need permission on when to stop BF, there's no set rule how long you do it for.

Are you swaddling baby? If they're in the massive cot 2 weeks post birth, it's going to feel isolated and empty. That's why Moses baskets are amazing. But def look up swaddling.

Original poster

AlexLouisa01 · 15/04/2017 03:47

Ok Thanks. I will check that out.

OP posts:

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