Two Week Old Baby Queries

[AlexLouisa01]

My wife and I have a two week old son who sleeps for about five hrs in 24 in three or four stints and feeds for hrs. He is currently on his 5th hr of feeding. Is this OK? Also Louisa is starting to crack with the lack of sleep. Do you definitely have to wait for a month before you can start feeding with a bottle?

Have you tried a firm wrap. Mine loved to be wrapped at that age otherwise they startled themselves when the moved.

Is Louisa still under the midwives? I would give them a call to chat about this if so. Also she should definitely seek Breastfeeding support from her children's centre / call the NCT breastfeeding helpline if she wants to talk to someone skilled in this area.

Being exhausted and having baby feed a lot can be a normal part of the early days with a newborn (obviously as long as weight is ok as you've said it is). Aside from giving a bottle you can support by encouraging Louisa to nap whenever she's not feeding the baby, doing the nappy changes etc, making sure Louisa has food and drinks to hand.

Has Louisa tried breastfeeding lying down? That really helps women to rest/sleep whilst feeding.

There are some great breastfeeding support Facebook groups where people with lots of experience of breastfeeding/with training in breastfeeding support can give you advice. Breastfeeding support and information UK is one of them.

Also very normal for a newborn to not want to sleep in Moses basket. Sometimes heating the mattress with a hot water bottle can help.

You may like to check out info on safe co sleeping - the ISISonline.org.uk website is a great resource for this.

I think when it's your first, you fall of the hype of the "beautiful baby peacefully snoozing in their crib" seen in adverts and baby books and assume yours will do the same. Sadly, some babies just will not tolerate being put down - they just want to be on mum all the time. My first was like that.

Giving a bottle early on doesn't have to interfere with breastfeeding - my DH used to give DD a night feed early on to try and give me a break. I ended up breastfeeding her till she was 3.5!

Short-term, get Louisa to give baby a big feed, then take them out in the pushchair for a walk while L sleeps. Some babies will settle in their pram more easily than a Moses basket. At that stage I remember even a decent nap helped me enormously. Longer-term, speak to your HV and investigate other sleep methods such as the ones suggested by previous posters. I co-slept with DD, but I'm hesitant to suggest it as I know it's not recommended.

Good luck, and be kind to each other. These early days can be tough - it does get easier though.

I've got a 7 week old and similar to pps I'd be more concerned about the lack of sleep at this stage. Your baby will almost certainly go to sleep - and stay asleep - on one of you. Could Louisa give a big feed and then go to bed, you make sure you're fed/watered/gone to loo and then put the baby on your chest skin to skin whilst you lean back a bit on the sofa. They're almost guaranteed to sleep for hours in that position. Also have you tried a fabric sling? Again, nestles baby to your chest and they'll sleep! Finally I'd really recommend giving la leche leagues ring for advice about feeding. My LO had issues feeding due to tongue tie and i ended up with supply issues but was desperate to breast feed. She ended up being combi fed from 24 hours to 4 weeks, by which stage we were able to transition to just breast milk. No problems with switching between bottle and boob. If your wife's shattered it will affect supply. If she does start expressing so you can feed, get a double pump. Take an old bra and cut 2 holes over the nipples. Fit pump through holes and voila you have hands free pump. Now she can use her hands to manipulate her breasts - think firm compressions - and you'll get way more milk out, much faster. Allowing more time to sleep! Might be worth checking out if your hospital has an infant feeding team? You could self refer to ours and they were amazing, i wouldn't be breast feeding without them. Please tell her we're rooting for her Those first few weeks are the tiredest I've ever been. Take any short cuts you possibly can fit everything else in life. Good luck!

My DS was breastfeeding constantly at 2 weeks, too. It turned out he had tongue tie.

My advice:

• Go to one or two breastfeeding drop-in sessions, and/or see a lactation consultation, and get them to check the latch and check for tongue tie. (NB As there will be a bank holiday for Easter Monday, the Monday drop-ins might not be open as usual.)

• This is up to you and your wife, but I don't think there would be an issue with you giving the baby a bottle of expressed breast milk, or formula, so she can have a break. We have been giving DS one bottle a day since he was a few weeks old and it hasn't affected the breastfeeding. I have been using a Haakaa pump to get milk from one boob while feeding from the other, and once he starting feeding less and sleeping more - enough to give me a bit more of a break - I also started using an electric breast pump.

• Get a Sleepyhead. They're expensive and I resisted buying one at first, but DS would wake up every time we put him down, so we cracked and bought one, and it's been a lifesaver. Now he stays asleep when we put him in it.

Typos

lactation consultation = lactation consultant
once he starting = once he started

Things that helped our daughter (9weeks) sleep in cot: swaddling, using sleepyhead, warming cot with fan heater, and using a "white noise" app. I have "Relax Melodies", it really works, it is so calming for her! We put it on the "rain" setting and stick the phone into the cot, the trick is it needs to be fairly loud to work. Apparently it is pretty noisy in the womb, so this is extremely comforting for them!

Google the fourth trimester OP, totally normal for baby to want to sleep on you/his mother and to feed a lot to build supply.

Totally sympathise, my ds was exactly the same. Would feed for 3 hours, sleep for an hour and then want feeding again. Non stop. HV, when asked assumed that it was a problem with my milk or latch (despite him piling on weight) and told me to switch to formula. Worst thing i ever did because it didn't change his feed/sleep pattern but now I couldn't doze while he fed etc. Yes it did mean that dh could do some of the feeds but once he was back at work I still had to do most. If baby is gaining weight, try and live with it for a bit longer, just make sure you pick up everything else that you can so she can rest

As pp said very normal not to want to sleep in cot at that age.
2 weeks is a prime time for cluster feeding. It will get easier.
Have you tried a sling?

The one thing I did that helped me in those early days was to spend a day in bed at least once a week. Baby in bed next to you (swap duvet for blanket) and lie in bed- preferably asleep. Baby fed when he wanted and the both of us just drifted in and out of sleep until late afternoon. Bliss!

We wrapped my daughter in my dressing gown, a) it smelled of me
b) sometimes the coldness of the mattress startles them awake

We also raised the end of the cot as DD had silent reflux and was very uncomfortable being flat.

Two weeks in is a tough time for cluster feeding. View it as the baby putting in their order for tomorrow's milk. The more you feed, the more you produce (until your supply gets established).

If the baby is producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies then don't be concerned about them getting enough.

Lots of people express and give the occasional bottle from the start, some people panic when they pump though, as a pump doesn't always extract as much from the breast as a baby does, so when they don't produce much from pumping they worry that this is what a baby gets out. I can hardly pump at all at times, but I know my daughter gets what she needs from her weight gain/nappy output.

All the best OP, this too shall pass

Grenoble, between a starving baby, and one with a full tummy, yes, fed is best. I am a peer supporter, soon to be a midwife, and 100% I would rather see a fed baby than a struggling one and a mother on the edge.

We all know breastfeeding is best, but until any issues are sorted out, if a baby is struggling, bloody feed it whatever was is possible.

I breastfed two children, with severe tongue ties. I was in agony both times until they got snipped, and my first baby was failure to thrive due to insufficient transfer and my supply dropping. Until it came back up, he was supplemented.

Ridiculous comments like yours are the reason women DO feel like failures if breastfeeding doesn't work out, for whatever reason.

I also agree with dummy advice. Both of mine were very suck orientated babies, and would have happily been attached forever (even after tongue tie issues were resolved and they were feeding well). I used mam dummies and they never interfered with feeding. Indeed, my daughter was a bottle refuser.

If there is some money to spare, have a look at hammocks. Ours, coupled with a swaddle, meant our reflux baby slept so well for the first six months (until she was put in a cot!) that we didn't even know she had reflux.

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. My little boy hardly slept when he was that young too - he averaged 7 hours of proper sleep a day. What I realised later on was that he actually had a lot more than this but I hadn't realised - when he was sucking with his eyes shut I assumed he was awake because I didn't realise that they sucked in their sleep! So actually he had a lot more than I thought.

Breastfeeding in the early weeks is so hard, cluster feeding sucks! My little boys record was 9 hours one evening! But cluster feeding is so important for building up milk supply, and it won't last much longer o promise!

Please contact la leche league or the national breastfeeding helpline if you are thinking of stopping breastfeeding, they will give you some great information and will put your mind at ease that everything is normal.

I made sure not to offer a bottle in the early weeks but to be honest I don't know if it really helped anything. He was a total bottle refuser by the time I was "allowed" to give my milk in a bottle.

Good luck, and trust me it won't be this hard for too much longer. Remember to offer to run a nice bath for your partner and get that housework done! Haha.

2 weeks is awfully young to expect him to sleep in a big cot. Perhaps he would sleep better if he felt more secure and snug, a cot is huge for a baby so young! Maybe try a crib or a sleepyhead?

Also swaddling - is he swaddled?

Dd slept on me or DH most of the time for the first 2 weeks. She gradually slept more in the Moses basket in the early hours of the night, but don't panic if she hates sleeping in the cot or Moses basket.

If he's boob feeding this is totally normal. At 2 weeks he will also likely be cluster feeding. Boob fed babies just don't sleep as much, they wake in time with the best milk until supply is established. Your wife's milk is at peak production at night (stupid oclock in the morning) and has much more melatonin in it to help baby sleep and is more satisfying, so remember if she does express for night feeds, to use the milk she has expressed at night to feed the baby (just write day or night on the pot or storage bag).

My eldest wouldn't be put down either op. I used to fall asleep while he fed. He's 28 now and that problem is solved.

No advice from me as you have had great advice already but hang in there it gets easier honestly xxx

We have a nearly 9 month and I remember the first couple of weeks well! Baby cluster fed like a trouper... we eventually found out that she had a severe tongue tie and I have low calorie milk!

We were told that bottles before 6 week can cause nipple confusion... maybe so but I always think that it is best to have a happy and thriving baby and a happy mummy... we topped up (and still do) with 2 bottles a day which made a world of difference.

We too invested in a sleepyhead (having tried a cocoonababy) and we cosleeping with it. Baby is now a good sleeper and the benefit of the sleepyhead is that you can take it away if you go anywhere! Ours is now in the grand as it aided transition into her cot. We also used a miracle blanket (do a Google) which is similar to swaddling and made a huge difference!

Give the breastfeeding helpline a call as they can give you immediate help, then go to the feeding clinic or speak to you HV on Tuesday.

Congratulations on your newbie

Mine hated being put into the Moses basket when they were tiny too. They slept much better on someone. It makes sense really if you think about it - they prefer the warmth and the sounds they've become used to over the last 9 months. Could your wife feed and then hand over to you so the baby can sleep on you and she can catch up on some sleep on her own?

Co sleeping worked really well for us but do look up how to do it safely.

You sound really supportive
What helped my survived was when my husband took the baby in a sling for a walk for two/ three hours so I slept . He wouldn't wake up because he was so snug and close to his dad and upright which is what they love. It helped dad to bond with baby and i was able to rest and continue feeding .
Also, check for a tongue tie .