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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sacrifice for 4 years maximum

156 replies

So2007 · 14/04/2017 21:57

for the life you want?

Do it?

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 16/04/2017 08:30

my passion, which I have just discovered last year through an amazing exposure, is developing smart healthcare solutions through emerging technologies

Sorry OP, after all the drip feeding abdvtslk of passions I roared with laughter when I got to that.

I know people who do that very successfully here, so I'd focus on whether you like sun or not and whether or not you want to live in Trump America.

NoSquirrels · 16/04/2017 08:35

You could be loads clearer about this, OP, and you'd get useful answers- on the face of what you've posted I don't really understand your dilemma as you're not sacrificing anything, you're just moving to pursue your career. But I don't really understand how you have a guaranteed job for 4 years in US available that also would work with you being in a different country for 1 of those years while you wait for a visa - it sounds very unusual and so you're not going to get useful advice unless you spell it out properly.

But hypothetically, yes, go pursue your passion, all things being equal.

Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 08:38

Sorry OP, after all the drip feeding abdvtslk of passions I roared with laughter when I got to that.

I think I have already explained that I did not intend to drip feed. I really just wanted to ask the opening question, and get insights from different perspectives and in different contexts.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 16/04/2017 08:40

Different contexts don't help you though, do they? What use are they to you when your situation is unique?

Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 08:41

NoSquirrels - yeah, regarding the e job and the visa and all that bureaucracy, don't worry, I have all that covered :)

Actually I'm also sacrificing a year of me working here, but like I mentioned, it's most probably going to be a good enough job. But might not lead me (or at least, has a slim chance of not leading me) to where I want to be.

OP posts:
Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 08:43

Different contexts don't help you though, do they?

Actually they do. That's why when I wasn't getting the replies I was looking for (and I acknowledge I should have spelled this out in my OP, my fault), I opened another thread worded exactly like that.

OP posts:
GetAHaircutCarl · 16/04/2017 08:43

So essentially OP you and your DH would both be able to pursue dream careers in SV?

You've now been given a job in SV ( but not the dream one).

This will give you both the opportunity to move out there. DH can pursue his dream job immediately and you in four years?

Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 08:44

regarding the e job

Typo - regarding the job

OP posts:
FairytalesAreBullshit · 16/04/2017 08:44

I think a good mantra is you're never too old to come to a cross roads, unsure of what direction to take. You ultimately follow your heart. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 08:45

You've now been given a job in SV ( but not the dream one).

No, not in SV. But it will give us the greencard.

you and your DH would both be able to pursue dream careers in SV?

Well at least we can try. It will be a lot easier pursuing it from there.

This will give you both the opportunity to move out there. DH can pursue his dream job immediately and you in four years?

Yes.

OP posts:
Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 08:46

You ultimately follow your heart. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Thank you.

OP posts:
TomaytoTomahto · 16/04/2017 08:49

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Travelledtheworld · 16/04/2017 08:50

I agree with Devilish Pyjamas.
Life is more than earning money and lifestyle. It's about having friends and loving family and being part of the community you live in.

I would advise go and try it. You have little to lose.
But hold on to your passports from your own country.

Vatessamia · 16/04/2017 08:52

I'd say go for it. You can be in a safe cocoon when you are older. What would be in the in-between job OP and what country are you looking to go to?

CasperGutman · 16/04/2017 08:56

In what discipline do you actually work, OP? If you're an engineer/programmer I'd expect you to set things out clearly instead of this tedious and frustrating drip feed.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 16/04/2017 08:57

Sorry OP, after all the drip feeding abdvtslk of passions I roared with laughter when I got to that.

Yes, I was hoping for something a little more exciting.

Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 09:03

If you're an engineer/programmer I'd expect you to set things out clearly instead of this tedious and frustrating drip feed

No I am not an engineer/programmer. And I have explained several times the unintentional "drip feeding".

OP posts:
Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 09:04

I'd say go for it. You can be in a safe cocoon when you are older.

Yes, that's what I tell myself. I love where we are now, but the opportunities excite me.

OP posts:
Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 09:06

Yes, I was hoping for something a little more exciting.

Yeah sorry for the disappointment, this is not Daily Mail fodder.

However, the dreams we have excite me.

OP posts:
dowhatnow · 16/04/2017 09:06

How come your DH will be able to work. Will your visa allow him to work too?

GetAHaircutCarl · 16/04/2017 09:06

I don't think posts have to reflect our professional lives.

I'm a crime writer. I don't feel the need to fill my posts with high tension and a twist!

Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 09:06

How come your DH will be able to work.

Greencard.

OP posts:
WomblingThree · 16/04/2017 09:07

The problem is, you've confused everyone with your one line answers, and no one actually understands what this sacrifice is. To most people, being offered a job abroad is a simple concept. List of pros and cons, then decide where or not to take it. You've made it all sound very complicated and people have forgotten what you were asking in the first place.

I'm not sure why all the bitchy answers are necessary though. If you don't care, then don't read the thread. Have I missed the subtext here?

Original poster
So2007 · 16/04/2017 09:08

I'm not sure why all the bitchy answers are necessary though.

What bitchy answers?

OP posts:
WomblingThree · 16/04/2017 09:12

Posters saying they don't care, or that they have no interest. Just seems a bit weird of them to post to say they don't care Confused