Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sacrifice for 4 years maximum

156 replies

So2007 · 14/04/2017 21:57

for the life you want?

Do it?

OP posts:
MommaGee · 14/04/2017 22:07

also what will you be doing if you don't do this?

BumWad · 14/04/2017 22:08

Get to the bloody point Hmm

TonySopranosVest · 14/04/2017 22:08

I'm going to use the Confused one because I'm so Confused

You're going to have to give more detail

Blodplod · 14/04/2017 22:09

Why the weird vagueness? How totally irritating.. yawn or what.

Original poster
So2007 · 14/04/2017 22:12

Does it involve moving house or country? What would be the options if you didn't like it?

Yes, moving country. If we did not like it, we can come back to where we are right now.

Moving will put my husband in the prime location for his field.

Four years because that's how long the contract is. And then if I want, I can pursue my passion (hopefully) which I have just discovered last year. If I don't, I can still use the experience to either continue working in the field, or transition to another subfield.

OP posts:
TinfoilHattie · 14/04/2017 22:13

Depends on so many things. We've made sacrifices - DH going abroad to work for a year before we had kids, working away and only coming home at weekends after we did have kids. Making those choices did mean that he was in a better position for his career so it definitely paid off in the long run.

ZilphasHatpin · 14/04/2017 22:13

Can't you pursue your passion wherever you are moving to?

Original poster
So2007 · 14/04/2017 22:16

And will you be happy, that's the main thing

If plans pan out, yes.

Can't you pursue your passion wherever you are moving to?

That's the thing - the place we're moving to is also the prime location for my passion. But I'd be tied to another job for max four years.

If we stay here, my husband has a nice job, I'd get a nice enough job but probably will not have the opportunity (or at least, the same number of opportunities) to pursue my passion.

OP posts:
Howlongtillbedtime · 14/04/2017 22:19

What is the sacrifice ?

Sounds like a move to a place you both like with opportunities for both of you .

With an end result you will be delighted about .

So the sacrifice is ?

HerBluebiro · 14/04/2017 22:21

So what's the sacrifice?

You and dh go together. Both get opportunities. Or stay here and stagnate.

Lucky you to have a passion

TatianaLarina · 14/04/2017 22:22

Where are you on kids, have you agreed not to have them? Will you be trying to get pregnant?

NorksAreMessy · 14/04/2017 22:24

Why are you brig so very mysterious?

Which country?
What job?
What passion?

Come on, let us play!

Floggingmolly · 14/04/2017 22:25

Where is this Utopia that's the prime location for both your passions? Confused. Neither of you can progress in your careers without spending 4 years in a Siberian salt mine a different country; but if you do this you can come back home with the golden key?

Original poster
So2007 · 14/04/2017 22:27

The sacrifice is, well, I actually think we have a good life where we are. If we go, I have guaranteed work, yes, but in a field I am not that keen about (but I don't hate).

My husband will of course be starting from scratch, but given his experience, I have high hopes for him.

OP posts:
ZilphasHatpin · 14/04/2017 22:28

Ok so far I'm not seeing the sacrifice. It all looks like a win.

MorrisZapp · 14/04/2017 22:28

And it's no sacrifiiiiiice
No sacrifiiiiiice at all...

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 14/04/2017 22:28

Are you sacrificing 4 yrs so u can pushed your passion, or 4 years so your husband had opportunities ? It's not clear from post if u are doing it mainly for husband or for yourself. And what is the dilemma?

MommaGee · 14/04/2017 22:28

So going would be good for his career and is the ideal place for your passion. The job is meh if you go but if you stay here you'd only get a nice enough job anyway if you are unhappy you can just come home.

so what's the sacrifice? It sounds like both of you would have more fun put there and a job you feel meh about now might be something you come to love

ZilphasHatpin · 14/04/2017 22:28

Xpost!

Go for it! Like you said, if you don't like it you can move back.

Viviennemary · 14/04/2017 22:29

Only you can answer the question as only you know the circumstances and you don't seem prepared to share. So what's the point of asking for advice.

Original poster
So2007 · 14/04/2017 22:29

Where are you on kids, have you agreed not to have them? Will you be trying to get pregnant?

At this point, I can honestly say I'd rather have the career I want than to have a kid. I am aware I should be rushing to have kids, given my age. But I really do not have that great desire to have kids.

OP posts:
Toohardtofindaproperusername · 14/04/2017 22:30

Pursue not pushed

DancingLedge · 14/04/2017 22:30

Oh , this sounds(relatively) easy. I thought you were after advice on doing a four stretch..

Original poster
So2007 · 14/04/2017 22:30

Ok so far I'm not seeing the sacrifice. It all looks like a win.

Well, there's still the risk of not making it where we are going.

OP posts:
fruitbats · 14/04/2017 22:31

Nope, my interest has waned on both threads.