To ask if you mind being called "Man"?

[ohnothisisme]

If you're a woman, do you mind being called "Mate" or "Man", "Dude" etc.? As in "Yeah man/dude, go for it".

There's a youngish guy in my office who frequently addresses the women (including me) like this, and I don't know why exactly but I really dislike it.

AIBU?

Just another example of unisex meaning male. Nothing to see here- move along please.

If you're a woman, do you mind being called "Mate" or "Man", "Dude" etc.? As in "Yeah man/dude, go for it".

I thought these terms were generally gender neutral these days?

"I thought these terms were generally gender neutral these days?"

Nope. They are terms for men that women can now use. They are not gender neutral. Nothing is gender neutral. Just man stuff women can use.

If you think that terms like "guys" and "man" are gender neutral, switch them for terms like "gals" and "women". Would you address a mixed-gender group using the latter? If so, do you think the men would assume the terms were gender neutral, be flattered, or be annoyed at the implication they're female?

It might seem minor but the devil's in the detail. We tend to assume that male and unisex terms are broadly the same whilst women are a sub-group. And we tend to think it's fine to apply male terms to women whilst thinking it's insulting to use female terms for men. If that seems minor compared to e.g. unequal pay and domestic violence, then think how those things might be easier to end if women were not assumed to be a sub group and if female terms weren't insulting when applied to men.

How does using the term "mate" "man" "dude" in any way offensive? Sounds like some people choose being offended as a hobby. What would you like him to call you? Have you actually told him you don't like it? Maybe even ask him to stop if it hurts your feelings so much 🙄.

i used to get cock a lot at work[bolton] 'are you all right cock' ,' thanks cock' etc ,'do you want a brew cock' so yeah man wouldnt bother me.

Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I'm not keen on "bab" though (which is often used around these parts) - I'm not offended by it, it just makes my teeth itch in a cringey way.

I actually say these things quite often, although usually only to friends. Although I do say "guys" as a catch-all at work (we're quite a relaxed atmosphere). Didn't realise it upsets/irritates so many, will have to try and stop doing it as much! The only terms that rankle my ankles are "babe" and "hun".

As I game online I am often called mate or you get a battle cry of come on lads lets mess up the other team. Doesn't bother me at all. I team up and shoot stuff. I did last night and the men I teamed up with got to game with a woman who can beat their score, I came top in my last match yesterday, beating 11 other players.

Man, dude and guys are male. Mate should be gender neutral, but often isn't. I often get mistaken for male because I'm v tall and once a delivery driver said "sign there please mate, ooh sorry I mean love." When he clocked me properly and I couldn't help thinking how shit that he had to 'correct' himself as he'd mistakenly addressed me as his equal.

Doesn't bother me. Some men call everyone, men included, babe or darling. Is that female terminology being appropriated by men?
What I don't like is when men call other men 'mate', in a distinctly un-matey way (in London).

Mate - no

Dude/man - yes

Can somebody please explain to me why "lasses" "girls" and "ladies" are not unisex terms?

I'm a teacher and have often heard 'miss man' which makes me smile!

I'm sorry but language changes as we all know, so to complain about these words because they were once only used on men and can now be used for women is honestly just looking to be offended. If you want to be called the other names such as "girl" "lady" "lass" "bird" "chick" the list goes on, even though none of you like those terms either, then that's cool, but you are actually the one being sexist by saying you can't use certain terms because you are a woman. Hypocrite much?

nothruroad I think I've actually said that myself when younger lol

Does it not interest you even slightly that words used for women never change their meaning to encompass men? That it only ever goes one way?

I don't mind anything other than 'petal' or 'flower' which are used quite a lot round here.

Doesn't really bother me, but I work with teenagers and I draw the line at their new-fangled 'fam' and 'bruv'

What's wrong with 'guys'? I thought that was a universal term for men and women? Used a lot at my work. Man is a weird one, I hardly ever hear it but it wouldn't cause offence. Mate, chick, Hun, love... all terms of endearment used by friends. Not words I would use for people I don't know, but when people do, I just see it as them trying to be friendly, and it's just the way they talk.

There's a lot worse things you could be called!

I hate it. I also hate the modern trend (around here anyway) of addressing a mixed group of men and women as 'guys'. Language evokes and all that, but 'guy' still means a male person and I object to being made invisible.

BertrandRussell

I saw you talking about this on a another thread about children's names. It was very interesting.

You can trade up, but not down.

As a matter of interest, how would you address a room which contained both men and women? Is there a collective term that acknowledges equality?

People? Sounds a bit cold?

And if people don't like ladies or girls, or guys, for women. How would you address a group of women, say in an office?

Find it mildly amusing. Definitely prefer it to 'love', and 'dear'.