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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let my husband come on our day out tomorrow

142 replies

LazyDaisy29 · 14/04/2017 03:48

Hi all

My husband went to work tonight, he works in a bar in the evenings.
We have arranged a day out tomorrow with our 2 boys we have got a baby sitter for the baby so we can give them some time (baby is 4 months old)

He has gone to work tonight and come home drunk, we are meant to be getting up at 7 to sort everyone's stuff and drop baby off and get going

I have told him he's not coming, I think he will ruin it by being tired and hungover, and I'm angry cause he said he wasn't drinking and I had a gut feeling all night but he kept avoiding the question

If he was avoiding the question he must of known that I'd get angry. I don't care normally at all he can do what he wants but tomorrow is kind of a big deal

I feel my 2 boys have been left a little bit what with the new baby

I don't know what to do in the morning

OP posts:
JennyOnAPlate · 14/04/2017 07:40

I would be massively annoyed too op.

Get him up, thrust a pint of water and a coupe of paracetamol at him and make it clear that you're all going out to have a lovely day and he wont be ruining it for your boys.

BellyBean · 14/04/2017 07:47

Hope you're taking him, if he sleeps on the way he might be ok. The boys will be really disappointed if daddy isn't there.

diddl · 14/04/2017 07:49

What does leaving him at home to sleep it off in peace achieve?

So what if he grins & bears it?

Allthewaves · 14/04/2017 07:50

i'd be very annoyed but your also going to have the glee of watching him do rides hungover mwhahaha

OliviaStabler · 14/04/2017 07:50

Make sure he has a fry up for breakfast and take him along.

Pinotwoman82 · 14/04/2017 08:02

I would be so angry

dowhatnow · 14/04/2017 08:08

He doesn't deserve a day on his own nursing his hangover. And a day with a not so fun daddy is still better than being let down and no daddy at all.
Make the selfish bastard go and tell him to suck it up.

SallyGinnamon · 14/04/2017 08:10

In our house having a hangover is not an excuse for missing anything.

So spit spot out of bed. He can do breakfasts while you make the sandwiches and off you go. Not a peep about feeling unwell. Everyone stays jolly!

DH has learned to suffer in silence over the years. Actually gets back from the pub pretty early nowadays though that might be more of an age thing!

happystory · 14/04/2017 08:19

A bit off topic, but what is he doing getting drunk when he's at work?

2bluestars · 14/04/2017 08:21

I would be extra jolly and very loud... Grin

Lulu1083 · 14/04/2017 08:26

But Borders its when they don't suffer in silence that's the problem. Then everyone else's day is ruined.

ExDH used to do this, roll in at 3am after a lock in when we had big plans. I used to get really upset, he'd be really sorry, we'd rearrange for another weekend etc. Then a month later the same.

Then I just started going without him, and he hated it. We'd all come in and he'd hear about the great day we'd had while he was at home. I'd tell the girls that daddy might come so they weren't disappointed but without fail he wouldn't get up.

If this is a one off I'd forgive him but if it's regular, selfish behaviour then plan your days without him OP, was much better on me and the children

PizzaPlease · 14/04/2017 08:28

And of course you have to consider whether or not he will actually go on rides, or will he claim he doesn't feel well enough? Because that would put a damper on things in itself.

ememem84 · 14/04/2017 08:29

Ouch. Chessington with a hangover.

Great place. Loud noisy and fast spiny rides. Worst place for a hangover.

Take dh. He knew it was a family day out.

pictish · 14/04/2017 08:31

No no...get him up and make him get on. Even if he's not at his optimum it's better than rewarding him with a day's peace to sleep it off. He can reap what he's sown and do Chessington World of ADVENTURE with a hangover while not being allowed to complain about how shit he feels. Ha ha.

Collaborate · 14/04/2017 08:36

I feel like I've just been teleported in to 19th century Victorian England right in to the middle of a temperance movement, reading this thread.

My take:

OP is controlling.
Her husband might enjoy the day better not being judged all day.
Most of those responding to this thread have never experienced a hangover before.
This thread is a contender for @mumsnet_madness

Original poster
LazyDaisy29 · 14/04/2017 08:37

He's up showered and getting ready keeps needing to be hurried along
I'm going to ignore it he keeps being snappy at me Sad
Saying doesn't matter what time we get there
Oh well hopefully boys won't notice

He is an events organiser so just has to make sure it runs smoothly x

OP posts:
carabos · 14/04/2017 08:38

I agree with happy. Why was he drinking at work or did he go out drinking after? I worked in a bar as a student and we weren't allowed to drink while we were working, just like pretty much any job.

OSETmum · 14/04/2017 08:40

Get him up and I'm the car, music blaring, kids chattering away: that'll do his headache no end of good 😂.

Then send him on the big rides with the kids.

The kids are happy, dh doesn't miss out and you get to feel slightly smug that he's suffering.

pictish · 14/04/2017 08:43

Collaborate eh?

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/04/2017 08:44

Collaborate.

I've had some fierce hangovers. The ops dh has been a dick dick and I don't see why she's controlling. He has another 364 days in the year to come home drunk and not be going out with his children. They've booked a babysitter so it's quite a special occasion and he's spoiling it with his behaviour.

Fanciedachange17 · 14/04/2017 08:48

I'm with collaborate on this one. Stop treating him as if you are his mother. He's an adult. His choice if he is suffering a hang over but I don't see that gives you the right to stop him spending a day with his family. Especially as the boys are looking forward to it.

Let go a bit OP and try a bit of forgiveness and humour rather than the bossy school M'arm approach. Can't be much fun for him to be continually nagged and he was working presumably to pay for these days out?

ohfourfoxache · 14/04/2017 08:49

Urgh, selfish prick Angry

HappyFlappy · 14/04/2017 09:03

I just think its a slippery slope to man-child if he thinks all he as to do is get pissed to get out of family stuff.

Agree with MrsDV

He's done this intentionally (maybe subconsciously, but intentionally) because he fancies a day doing sod all! Get him up and out with the family. Let him grin and bear it - the important thing is that the boys have a good time.

happypoobum · 14/04/2017 09:03

I am glad he is coming - he would probably really prefer to be at home in bed!

Ignore his hangover and his sniping. Then when this is all over you need to have a serious chat about how he has let you all down.

Have a lovely day - don't let him spoil it.

MrsJayy · 14/04/2017 09:10

I would make him go doesn't matter if he is suffering you had a day out planned what an arsehole does he normally come home from work pissed ?