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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 12/04/2017 16:03

Can't believe anyone would think that this is OK. Tiny baby puree maybe but actual food- never.

I really pity people who are trying to run cafes, rate rises and people who think its OK to bring in own food

watchoutformybutt · 12/04/2017 16:04

I can't believe there was nothing suitable for a 14 month old on the entire menu. Kids don't need kids meals. You could have just given him some food from yours if you didn't want to pay for a while meal. Very, very precious OP.

Wolfiefan · 12/04/2017 16:04

As the poster above says. Purée for a tiny baby yes fine. But actual food for a child over a year? Taking the proverbial.

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 12/04/2017 16:04

As posters up thread have said though this might be one small pot of pasta for your baby but I bet they have had parent and toddler groups come in, order 4 coffees and sit there for hours taking up space and feeding their children on carrot sticks from home.

witsender · 12/04/2017 16:04

At 14 months he could either have had something off the menu or some of yours. Why does he need a special pasta thing? Pasta is pasta, are you telling me they didn't sell it? Very odd. I can understand finger food to gnaw on for a 6 months old, but at 14 months mine were just eating whatever we had

diddl · 12/04/2017 16:05

I can see the restaurants pov.

Equally though if an adult feeds the child some of their food there's still only the one adult meal that has been ordered, so no gain to the restaurant.

TheWitTank · 12/04/2017 16:06

What did he say? If he actually kicked you out (as in -please leave my premises immediately) then I can see why you wouldn't have paid for drinks. If he said -I'm afraid you will have to leave if you don't purchase something from the menu then its different and you chose to leave.
Bringing a baby jar or puree is acceptable in my opinion, but an actual meal that could be prepared by the resteraunt like pasta, sandwiches etc is a bit cheeky. At 14 months I found it very easy to feed my picky DD in eateries by ordering side dishes and small pieces from my plate. I'm sure lots of places turn a blind eye -you will know to avoid this one in future if you don't agree with their rules- but I do think its fair to expect to buy the food on the menu rather than bringing in your own.

FoodieToo · 12/04/2017 16:07

I think the cafe/ restaurant owner was pretty silly.

He lost two paying customers and 35 pounds for the sake of an argument. Why would it have been so much better to give baby something from your plate??
The restaurant would still not have made any money on the baby.
If anything you saved them hassle as they did not need to provide a plate etc . for said baby to eat from your plate.

I have 5 kids and we always eat out a lot and I have never encountered an attitude like this. Talk about cutting off your nose etc.....

Sounds like cafe owner was having a bad day. YANBU in my opinion!

Lagirafe · 12/04/2017 16:07

Sorry I agree with the general consensus that you should have either ordered him something from the kids menu or given him some of your meal.
Lots of places (including a soft play place near me) do not allow food to be brought in with the exception of tiny babies.

Maudlinmaud · 12/04/2017 16:10

I think you should go back and pay for your drinks op. Thats not on. It's been a while since I've had babies but I do remember restaurant staff telling me they couldn't heat up baby food so I just ordered a kiddy meal or fed them from my plate.

SalemSaberhagen · 12/04/2017 16:11

You say in your OP you walked out, but have now said he 'pretty much' told you to leave. So he didn't actually say you must go. What did he say?

Jupitertomars · 12/04/2017 16:12

YANBU.

I always bring something for my baby and probably will even at 14 months.

It's important to me that she has a proper meal and the kids meals usually consist of chips and chicken nuggets/hot dogs etc. Which I don't find appropriate to feed her.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 16:12

He said something aslong he lines of "well it's not okay in here so if you're feeding him your own food then you need to leave" and stood there looking at us as if waiting for us to go. I didn't kick off shouting and screaming it was more of a "okay then we'll go!". If it had have been more polite it would've been different.

I'm still not of the general consensus here though. Yes it's not a picnic area, hats why we'd ordered things for ourselves and spent £35. I completely agree that sitting with a coffee and feeding your child a full on massive meal for hours on bed is U. But when two adults are paying customers. As some posters have said, giving him something from my plate wouldn't have made them any money either Confused

OP posts:
MrsMeeseeks · 12/04/2017 16:12

YABU. You could have just given the baby a breadstick or something. I can't imagine going to a restaurant and then opening a tupperware of home-prepared food!

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 16:13

*hours on end.

Clearly have fat fingers

OP posts:
SkaterGrrrrl · 12/04/2017 16:13

YABVU

mudddypudddles · 12/04/2017 16:13

YANBU

I always take food for a child under 2, snacks, small sandwich, yoghurt type stuff.

I'm not wasting money buying a whole meal for a baby/small child not big/old enough to consume a full child sized portion.

Nowhere I have done this has ever complained or asked me to stop. I don't pull out a full picnic or anything, just one item at a time and wait till they have finished before giving more. I always clean up after the child too. I would walk out too if I was in your position.

Areyoufree · 12/04/2017 16:13

Surprised at the reaction to this - I wouldn't have thought it was a big deal either. But maybe some of the PPs are right, and they have had previous bad experiences with groups with lots of children taking the piss. Just chalk it up to experience, I guess!

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 16:14

I have five kids and I eat out a lot. Presumably you don't feed them on food you've brought from home?
It's probably not the "little pot of pasta" in itself, it's allowing one person to bring in food opening the floodgates for everyone to do it.
There's really no particular difference between a 14 month old and a 3 year old in terms of what they are able to eat.

Dishwashersaurous · 12/04/2017 16:15

At 14 months no one needs a kids menu. They can eat whatever you are eating. Cafe- sandwiches, baked potatoes, pasta, eggs, pizza etc

If you don't want your child eating what an establishment sells don't eat there

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 12/04/2017 16:15

"well it's not okay in here so if you're feeding him your own food then you need to leave"
So you were given the options of either not feeding your child the food you had brought and to order from the menu or to leave. You chose to leave. Just don't go there again op.

allegretto · 12/04/2017 16:16

I think you should have asked whether it was ok before you sat down and avoided the whole palaver.

MuncheysMummy · 12/04/2017 16:16

Lots of presumptions here people not all babies and toddlers can manage adult food! My DS has gag reflex issues and has had to go the purée route despite me being certain we doing baby led at the start. Does that mean I must be a home for all his meals until he's old enough to manage solid food?? He will be around 2 before he can eat adult food it's predicted. What kind of resteraunt isn't ok with you feeding a baby baby food?! Does that apply to a bottle of formula too or breast feeding?!

user1471558436 · 12/04/2017 16:16

Yanbu my baby ate hardy anything at 14 months. No point in ordering a meal

SomethingBorrowed · 12/04/2017 16:17

Bringing a baby jar or puree is acceptable in my opinion, but an actual meal that could be prepared by the resteraunt like pasta, sandwiches etc is a bit cheeky
This

From 1yo they can eat "normal" food so bringing your own food is only to avoid buying the restaurant's food which understandably they are not happy with.

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