To be fuming at this restaurant?

[Ginge85]

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there . He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

it was extremely poor customer service and totally short sighted of the restaurant and I am really surprised that they made such a fuss

It was the OP who made a fuss. Sounds like the waiter just informed her of the restaurant's policy on bringing your own food.

shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us

And there, right there, YABU.

Still bemused at the folk who think that feeding a baby food from your own plate is more moral than feeding them a wee pot of pasta

His age and immaturity is irrelevant. Unlike a PP who's similar aged child can only manage purees, your child was eating pasta! So he eats pasta so you order pasta or something else he can eat.

YANBU

I am really surprised at the amount of people saying you are. My son is 18m and I've only recently started buying him things from the menu. He usually won't eat anything from the menu and won't really eat much of what I'm having. I used to always take my own food for him because I could relax knowing he had been fed too. I found that nearly all restaurants were helpful with this, i.e. Heating up meals etc.

I would always be spending a minimum of £40 on a meal, sometimes much more and if they were willing to lose that business for the sake of a few pound kids meal (my baby wouldn't eat) then their loss.

suburban I didn't make a fuss. I've said I was shocked and mentioned I'd never come across this before me he pretty much told us to leave and then stood there watching us as if waiting for us to go. He was extremely rude and passive aggressive. I may be being U by bringing food in for my baby but it was very poor customer service.

witchy it's a practically universal and reasonable rule in cafes that you don't bring your own food in. It's up to the cafe to allow for exceptions (babies, or allergies) not the customers.

I'm allergic to cows' milk. I usually carry a little bottle of soya milk with me, and if I am in a cafe that doesn't serve soya milk, I briefly explain that I have an allergy and ask if I may use it in my tea before I get it out of my bag. I've never had a no. All it requires is a bit of politeness on the part of the customer. It's the brazen entitlement that is the problem.

Witchywoohoo I agree. I can see a point about a restaurant perhaps being liable if the baby got food poisoning after they heated your own food up, but if you are serving something cold or something that is out a thermos than the restaurant are in no worse situation financially than if you ask for a bowl or a plate to decant some of your food onto for them.

I bring food and snacks with me for my 11month DD and have done since she was 6 months, I've never once been told that she cannot eat it. She's recently been able to eat more food from the menu but I still bring a back up of baby food with me in case she doesn't.
Most places don't cater for babies, especially if you're only spoon feeding and not doing BLW. Frankie and bennies has Ella's kitchen pouches available but that is the only place I've seen do anything specifically for babies and we eat out a lot. YANBU to bring baby food with you at all. Seems odd to me that you aren't allowed

no worse financially or legally I mean.

I've scan-read the thread, so might have missed it, but I'm confused by all the people saying feed the baby off your plate. It makes no difference whatsoever to the restaurant's takings whether you feed a baby off your plate or bring your own food. Either way, you are not buying the baby a meal, so it's a stupid argument.

Next time, OP, instead of getting yourself in such a state that you are "fuming", just quietly ask to speak to the manager/supervisor/shift leader, and ask if it is a policy, or if the waiting staff are just being a little over zealous.

I spent my entire 25 year career in the hospitality industry, and it does make me chuckle, the preconceptions a lot of people have about restaurants.

I would imagine, in your case OP, that at some point the waiter had been told to tell someone that they couldn't eat their entire picnic in the restaurant. He then probably thought "oh look , someone eating their own food, I'd best sort it before the boss sees".

Most restaurant managers want and need customers. They also want and need those customers to A: come back and B: write nice things on Tripadvisor. Believe me, no restaurant manager with half a brain would risk a bad review online for the sake of a pot of pasta.

I'm really surprised at the responses here. We took DD out to eat in all kinds of places from a very young age and never had an issue with this, and in fact were frequently asked if we needed plates/napkins, did we want our food after she had eaten or at the samet time, etc. We probably stopped doing it at about 18 months when she was used to a broader variety of food and would then eat off our plate or eat a small amount (like maybe a quarter) of a kids meal. Agree that often kids meals are not at all creative or healthy, and DD at 14 months was still quite limited in what she would eat. Some babies might nibble at olives and goats cheese and the like from the age of 9 months but some don't. Genuinely surprised at the responses here as it's so different from our experience when DD was a baby.

YANBU.

But then, we don't live in the uk, which is breathtakingly child unfriendly.

Where i've worked this wouldn't be a problem, however i can see their point.

People do take the piss and bring sandwiches, cakes for their baby ( 3 y/o +) so it doesn't surprise me that places are now simply saying no.
I wouldn't care about the drinks if he told you too leave.
I'd ask if future if it's ok.
I don't think you were taking the piss, but other people do.

Why would you give them a bad online review because they wouldn't allow you to produce your own food at the table?
Particularly if you were graceless enough to storm out without paying for your drinks.

YWBVU and extremely rude. At 14months I fed my daughter a meal at a restaurant or some of mine.

You left 2 drinks and 2 covers for a seemingly reasonable request and that is very rude.

Suburban Doesn't sound like that to me. OP has clearly stated that the waiter came over and told her that the baby couldn't eat the pasta and was very insistent that they stopped feeding the baby or leave. Very much making a fuss.

It's good to see there are some posters here who are on my wavelength and don't think I'm the worlds worst for this! I wasn't fuming outwardly in there, just afterwards at his attitude. I see lots of posters point though and a lesson has been learnt. I just genuinely wasn't aware as never come across this before.

I wouldn't leave them a bad review
They haven't done anything wrong

Ginge all you need to do is ask first. It was not asking that made you the rude, entitled one. Usually if you ask there's no problem - and if there is, you will know right at the start.

You're not the world's worst at all, it just isn't something I would do.

Try him in different things, he may surprise you. I'm constantly amazed at the things my kids will happily eat, moules mariniere anyone? (that's green with vomit, not envy. Horrible little things.)

OP, did the place have a kids menu?

All it requires is a bit of politeness on the part of the customer.

Archery Did you miss the bit on my post where I suggested it would be better if OP had politely asked?

KItKats phew..a bit of common sense!

Okay OP. So the numerous food establishments you've worked in and frequented before you didn't no this was a popular policy?

Because our local cafe doesn't allow it for health and safety reasons.
The restaurants dont allow it for a similar reason. Also because if they let every tom dick and sally bring their own DCs food in they'd never make a profit. Did the restaurant had a kids menu you could have chosen your DSs pasta from?

I think for smaller babies, say under a year, it's fine to bring a little pot. For the age you are talking about you need to giving something from your plate/the kids menu/ a side dish.