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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
Tls106 · 14/04/2017 00:00

I've had a similar experience and I too was severely pissed off. Except this was a farm shop cafe where over the years I have spent a lot of money buying meat and visiting the cafe. I tried to check the website and see what was available for baby son and since they didn't show the menu I thought I'd pack a lunch and make life easy, then I didn't need to worry about starving him.

Other kids in the cafe eating food brought from home and waitress cones over and reads me the riot act. After she's brought everyone's food. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say especially since this treatment wasn't handed out to others. I can only imagine that she thought my son was older as he is tall. But he isn't older so if that was the assumption she was obviously wrong. Years down the line it still pisses me off and needless to say they don't get my custom anymore.

It's very short sighted as we all know hungry children are horrendous and I was sure to tell everyone I knew so they could avoid the place too! Wink

Stressedout10 · 14/04/2017 00:22

Your not getting the point the moment you were served the drinks you are liable for the bill being told that you cannot feed your child home made food and that you needed to put it away or leave doesn't absolve you of that debt leaving without paying your bill was a crime

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 14/04/2017 00:27

I'm going with ten espressos.
BrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrew

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 14/04/2017 01:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gandalf456 · 14/04/2017 01:04

I wondered when someone would mention Syria. If she were that concerned she wouldn't be reading this type of thread on Mumsnet and instead doing something about it such as fundraising or volunteering over there. I hate this sort of point scoring. It's the lowest of the low and it has nothing whatsoever about anyone's concern for them

NewRoadToHappinessxx · 14/04/2017 01:06

I thought it was something to do with Health and Safety. If you bring food in that has not been prepared on the premises they have no control over the ingredients. Let's say someone gave their child peanut butter sandwiches (or a peanut dip for their carrot sticks) in a high chair (or something not so obviously harmful to a child with a severe allergy. You feed said child his nutty favourite, don't wipe the chair, next child sits in it after it's had a 'quick wipe' by staff and boom you're calling 999 because the allergic child can't breathe.

Just thought I'd pop that in. Most places these days display 'only food purchased in this establishment may be consumed here' notice though even soft play areas only allow baby food to be brought in. ....

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 14/04/2017 01:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 14/04/2017 01:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

newmumwithquestions · 14/04/2017 01:45

I'm a bit gobsmacked with the replies on here. I'm with you OP, I take food for my 1 and 2 year old (definitely in the not acceptable catagory with a lot of PP here!). It's never occurred to me to not take anything!
They then often try a bit of mine too, or sometimes I'd order an extra side knowing they'll eat some. Most restaurant/cafe food is way way too salty for them so whilst for eg a few chips is fine I wouldn't just order them a plate of them and call that a meal.
I have never had a problem.

Also it covers the time before adult food arrives when they would otherwise be bored, hungry, and noisy.

PrimalLass · 14/04/2017 06:33

Stressedout10 you are talking bollocks. Why should they pay for something they were not allowed to drink?

Chachaow · 14/04/2017 06:56

stressedout the atmosphere in your restaurant must have been wonderfully relaxing

AcademicOwl · 14/04/2017 06:57

It's not the food for the baby; it's the rudeness of the waiter.
If he'd explained nicely - "I'm so sorry... can I get you instead... etc..." with a big smile, you wouldn't have left.
I've never bothered with the whole Tupperware full of home cooked stuff (not organised enough) but to enforce some kind of rule on you when you've ordered £35 worth seems a bit jobsworthy to me.

ilovesouthlondon · 14/04/2017 07:10

YANBU ! I always bring my son's food from home or an Ella's Kitchen pouch for him and all the restaurants I've been to are happy for me to do this, otherwise I would not eat there. He is younger than your son but I would still do it if he were 14 months (your childs age). You have to be mindful when feeding young babies/toddlers food on the street as you don't know how it's been prepared, salt and sugar content or how long it's been sitting there. My stomach can take a funny turn but you don't want that for your baby. Name and shame the restaurant (if your allowed to on here) and never go back in my opinion. Obviously once the babies are older the rule that they have to eat from the menu should apply as they are running a business, however 14 months is still a baby who may not even be fully weaned and just have a couple of teeth. That's my opinion!

yorkshirebird2382 · 14/04/2017 08:18

I don't normally comment but I'm going to due to the amount of people saying YABU. I would do what you did and having seen this thread I will check in the future before asking for a table whether it's OK to have brought my own food for my child. I really can't see a difference between giving your child a bit of yours or bringing your own, either way the restaurant doesn't benefit. Lesson learnt for me, will always check in future!

Booboo66 · 14/04/2017 08:32

leaving without paying the bill was a crime

Bit dramatic Grin

new road

Unless it's a completely but free premises (almost impossible) then that's not really relevant. When you do your food hygiene and health and safety training for restaurants I can guarantee there is no rules or laws about baby food apart from the advice that you should not microwave it for a customer and offer warm water instead!

Booboo66 · 14/04/2017 08:32

*nut not but

Oliversmumsarmy · 14/04/2017 08:41

What would happen if you had started to breast feed. Technically baby was consuming food not bought from the restaurant

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 14/04/2017 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Booboo66 · 14/04/2017 09:11

think yourself lucky you weren't in my restaurant
I think we are all thinking ourselves lucky on that count Hmm

linsatthesea · 14/04/2017 09:16

My Daughter did this all the time but always asked first if there was nothing suitable on the menu. Politeness usually gets a good result.

PonyPals · 14/04/2017 09:24

You were absolutely right to feed your toddler the meal you have brought from home. What If he had allergies etc. What's it to restaurant. You have already ordered more than enough.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 14/04/2017 09:27

Booboo Grin

The hospitality industry isn't a natural career choice for everyone Grin

NeedsAsockamnesty · 14/04/2017 10:10

I'm not sure why you got confused and fuming.
Why didn't you stop feeding the pasta ask if they could do something suitable off menu for a baby?

I can see why you may have an issue in the type of place where stuff is portion packaged on delivery but the type of place you appear to be describing was highly likely to have been able to do a bowl of pasta (they do use it in Jamaica so not unusual to find in a place like you describe) or rice and veg.

I eat out all the time in all sorts of places and have been for years I've never had an issue in a place that cooks it's own food with asking for something suitable and being given it, in the places that do the mass packaged stuff they usually have suitable sides or sell pouches and if they don't would rarely be the type of place that has issue with your own baby food.
I've also rarely seen people bring their own stuff other than pouch or jars.

Supercal12 · 14/04/2017 10:11

I don't get it. Starbucks, Costa Coffee etc are quite happy to let someone run their businesses from their premises for the price of a cup of coffee.I recall the wondrous St. Pru of Leith lambasting pubs that have " old gits sitting in a corner with half a pint" in an issue of CAMRA news.Get her on the case!

user1471558436 · 14/04/2017 10:13

Can't see the point in buying a whole meal when the child will just nibble a few mouthfuls.