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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there . He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:

Funnyfarmer · 13/04/2017 22:28

You are outstandingly rude for someone "who has repeatedly got things wrong throughout the thread. Are you this horrible in real life?"
Probably not. A lot of people are rude on the internet because they don't have the guts to behave like this to people faces

random79 · 13/04/2017 22:29

YANBU. There are all sorts of dietary limitations that apply to very young children, (such as low salt). It is perfectly reasonable to bring food for a toddler - they are tiny!

Never had any problems doing this in a range of restaurants and would never go to one that caused us grief about it. How ridiculous.

Clairemccarron · 13/04/2017 22:30

I actually can't believe you have any posts at all that are. OT completely in agreeance with you. This is bizarre and like you I would have been livid. My young daughter has allergies and so I carry food for her most of the time I go out. I would not have stayed to eat there either and I'd have given them a piece of my mind before leaving. This is a hound baby we are talking about, like you say, not an adult bringing food with them! I'm actually angry for you and totally baffled. Is it a chain restaurant? I think you should name and shame! I would!

Clairemccarron · 13/04/2017 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Clairemccarron · 13/04/2017 22:32

That last message was for funny farmer or whatever your name is

Original poster

Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 22:35

clairemccarron thanks for that . I think funnyfarmers latest post was in regards to floggingmolly- which I agree with tbh.

OP posts:

Funnyfarmer · 13/04/2017 22:36

@Cqlairemccarron
What post. Think you may have misread something. I never called anyone "rude"
I think you saying "maybe I'm on my period is a strange and rude thing to say!

Clairemccarron · 13/04/2017 22:41

Yikes, Ok fair enough I think I've read your post wrong, sorry. I thought you were calling her rude and it seemed uncalled for but like I say I've got the wrong end of the stick so I take it back with apologies. I just totally agree with op and can't believe the reaction she's had over this.

Clairemccarron · 13/04/2017 22:43

I read funnyfamers post wrong I think and got very defensive. It strikes a cord with me as I've been in this situation and my daughter was very hungry and couldn't eat anything, like I say, allergies. I just think it's totally unreasonable given that he's a wee baby.

Clairemccarron · 13/04/2017 22:46

Funnyfarmer, I've now read back the previous posts and am extremely embarrassed. Totally got your post wrong. Apologies

Original poster

Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 22:51

Thanks claire that was my initial thinking too. It had never even occurred to me that it could be a problem tbh as he's a baby. He's 14 months, and some say that's a toddler. But he's not 'toddling' yet as can't walk, and he's tiny for his age, so to me (and to everyone we know) he's very much still a baby.
Lessons learnt though, I will be asking in future always. Also, just because I brought a pot of pasta with me this particular time doesn't mean I don't give DS things to try, I do, constantly! And will continue to do so. He used to be a good eater when first weaned but isn't anymore. I wanted him to actually eat something as he hadn't really all day- hence bringing the home made food with me whoever we planned to go.

I'm genuinely not sure what else could be said by anyone on this thread now!

OP posts:

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 13/04/2017 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clairemccarron · 13/04/2017 22:57

I think you definitely don't need to justify to anyone I actually think it shows a mother who is looking out for her sons dietary needs to carry food rather than hope there's something suitable on the menu somewhere . So many places don't cater the right kind of food for children. My youngest daughter is gluten and dairy free and we are still finding foods she has an intolerance to as we go so I need to take food I know she can eat. I was asked to put it away once and even after explaining about the dietary issues they were not sympathetic at all. I wonder if it were their kids if it would be different...

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 13/04/2017 23:06

Hnh. I can see this from both angles. From the restaurant's POV if they have a policy, then they have a policy. However, it seems to me that they didn't apply it particularly wisely. I get that they're going to come down on an adult scoffing a whole meal that they've bought elsewhere, but a bit of sense and discretion applies when you're dealing with babies and toddlers. As you say, at 14mo you were never likely to order him a whole meal to himself, so they were never going to get three meals out of you. Instead, by not letting you feed your DS, the only outcome is that they lose the two meals you would have ordered that day, your custom from then on, and possibly the custom of anyone else you tell who also thinks their behaviour was out of line. As applications of policy go, that doesn't seem to smart to me. Better to overlook the tiny pot of pasta and be done.

Honestly, before reading this thread, it would never have occurred to me to not feed baby/toddler DS his own meal if I didn't think there was anything suitable for him on the menu. (I would obviously only do this if ordering meals for all the adults.) I can imagine that if you have a child with severe allergies, this might even be the only way you could eat out safely. I'd be pretty gobsmacked if a proprietor thought it in their best interests to tackle this scenario in this way.

MN baffles me yet again.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/04/2017 23:19

YABU and rude. Very rude.

lmb79 · 13/04/2017 23:22

I work in a restaurant, and all food is carefully selected and made on site to ensure safety to all. If others bring food in to eat which we haven't bought or supplied then clearly this is where issues could lead. If any illness occurs then we can't be held to blame so it just covers our back, all a bit PC I agree, but an unwritten common sense rule none the less. And yes if you just walked out, then in my restaurant particularly, if it was in my section I would have to pay for what you didn't pay for.
Being polite, patient and understanding could have gone better on both sides for sure but very unfair on the waiter, you may have shot the messenger!

Ulli58 · 13/04/2017 23:22

You are not being unreasonable. You were ordering your own food and drinks and it is safer and less disturbing for all around if you bring the food for your baby/toddler which you know he will eat. I see nothing wrong with that but i do with the waiter's petty behaviour. I would have walked out, too.

Original poster

Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 23:30

Once again to address the drinks thing, I didn't deliberately think "I'm not paying for these drinks!", we left in shock and embarrassment as it was extremely awkward. He didn't politely explain it. He told us awkward and when I was like "oh right! I didn't realise, I've never had a problem anywhere else so I didn't know" he got shirty and made is feel very uncomfortable. He did give us the option to leave literally, but implied we weren't welcome with his tone and the fact he stood there waiting for us to go. He watched us as we left. We didn't run out when his back was turned. The drinks he'dliterally just put down we're not in the forefront of my mind. If he'd have at any point said "you need to pay for these drinks" it would have reminded me they were even there and I'd have paid for them (and necked them probably!). I really don't think he was expecting us to pay for them either. I too have been charged when customers walk out without paying when working in bars. Although it was for a £600 bar tab- not a house white wine and a lime and soda. I do feel bad about not paying, but he was extremely rude, so probably feel worse than I should tbh.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 23:34

I vowed I wasn't responding on this thread again. But it's just not dying off ha!

OP posts:

Stressedout10 · 13/04/2017 23:46

You should count yourself lucky not to have been in my restaurant if you tried to leave without paying your bill we would have had you arrested! ! Your behaviour was outrageous everyone knows that you don't eat outside food in a restaurant, yes if you're talking about a baby ie under 1 we'll heat up baby food or a bottle of milk but to bring food for a toddler and start feeding them then when justifiably called out for it to walk out without paying your bill disgusting I hope the restaurant called the police and gave them the cc tv

Original poster

Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 23:51

Hahah stressedout you okay? Have you actually read the thread? I didn't just walk out without paying the bill. He pressured us to leave and watched as we did so. Read my last post. If the police saw the CCTV they'd do them for wasting police time!

OP posts:

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 13/04/2017 23:52

I'm trying to calculate how many espressos stressedout consumed today.

Original poster

Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 23:53

Also my toddler was 1, 2 months ago. Is 2 months the difference between acceptable and outrageous?

OP posts:

Funnyfarmer · 13/04/2017 23:55

Op can you not turn your emails off? So you don't get a notification everytime someone posts. It would do my head right in that

Original poster

Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 23:56

Yer I think I'm going to do that funnyfarmer thanks. My phones been going mad!

OP posts:

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