To be fuming at this restaurant?

[Ginge85]

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there . He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

Which (one) person was that AA, apart from you?

reads like feeding the lad something off a side plate off the OP's main course would have been fine... it was feeding home-food that the restaurant objected to.

I'm in the YABVU camp. Different for a 4 month old... but a 14m old. come on. They can eat what we eat.

YANBU

This would seriously piss me off too, and lots of children are fussy around that age. I used to do this as well and no resteraunt ever said anything. Good on you for voting with your feet.

I would write to the manager and just clarify this, as it seems weird that they turn away your custom over some baby food.

...but "Every single person", KitKats28!

'But sadly not particularly intelligent'
'What publication do you write for, is it the Beano'
Is there really any need for this @Floggingmolly
I joined mn thinking it was a place for mum's to support each over and offer advice without being judged. But obviously not. It's just a place for mum's to belittle and and ridicule and judge other mum's while trying to exert superior parenting over everyone eles. It's childish and perfetic. Not just on this thread but many others some posters should be ashamed of themselves!

How is it any different to a) not buy your child food and give them something you have brought with you or b) not buy your child food and give them some of yours?

I would have done the same OP. I didn't do anywhere without rice cakes, organix crisps, pouches etc at that age. Sometimes they just can't wait 20 minutes until a meal is served.

Ok, every single person except AA. Maybe I was just ignoring your dissent, because everyone else was ok with it. I'm guessing you just wanted to argue for the sake of it 🙄.

No one is reading the replies, if he practically asked her to leave & had only just set the drinks down then why the f would she pay??!

Personally if I didn't think i was in the wrong, I'd have told him to get fucked & walker out!

I don't think yabu and behaved quite reasonably and I would have done the same. I think the waiter is being unreasonable and petty. If you are with your friend and ordering food for yourselves to eat and you provide your 14 month old with a little pot of homemade food, what's the big deal?! A lot of places sell food too high in fat and salt and really a 14 month old child is only going to eat a very small amount anyway. The waiter was rude and should have been helpful not objective. Well done for leaving but I would be inclined to speak to their manger/owner to voice your complaint. It's petty and pathetic to expect you to order a full child's meal for a 14 month old and not to let you provide your own toddler food. Maybe if the child was 3 or 4 but 14 months is still very young!

I completely agree funnyfarmer. I'm all for being told straight, a disagreement, a debate even. I genuinely am and can take that on the chin (and have done). But jeez the judginess and the bitchiness, the sly remarks and the nasty digs over something that reveals very little about somebody's actual life. I've only been a mother for 14 months (yes I have only one child!) but I thought Mumsnet would be a place of advice and a place to get impartial POVs- for some (a lot! Seen on other posts also) it's a place to repetitively goad and be as nasty and derivative as you can from a place of apparent superiority. Grown women!
I'm secure enough in myself and thankfully have a proper support network in IRL that such comments don't actually effect me too much personally, but for some you could really be making someone feel truly shite. You should be ashamed.

*derogatory

I have a 14 month old. YANBU. You were paying customers, you were only feeding a baby for godsake, just good customer service.

Catwhite +1

Those suggesting she gave DS some of hers... You do realise that financially it makes no difference whatsoever to the restaurant??? She's still not spending any money on DS.

For what it's worth YANBU. Whether I've given DS some fruit if he's not hungry or something off my plate, it hasn't made a difference to anywhere we've ever eaten. They are no doubt happy to have 2 adult customers both paying for meals and drinks.

And also Kids love rice and peas.

Mine didn't.

Just another here in the YABVU camp.

My eldest is 20 and my youngest 9, never once have I or would I even dream of taking my own food to a restaurant/cafe, how disrespectful is that?

Breastfeeding/formula/allergies aside if your child is not able to eat from the menu then your child is not ready to be in those establishments. Take them to the park or soft play till they are ready.

I read 'fuming' and expecting someone to have soiled in your handbag.

I don't think bringing him food was particularly out of order but I don't think them querying it was either.

I'm just sort of envying a life that had so little trials in it, one could be rendered fuming at a restaurant being narky about non-purchased scran. Congrats on that sort of life! I'm fuming about Syria.

I've only just realised and can not believe his thread has made the roundup MN email! My goodness!

womanstanley I was fuming at the waitors attitude and being pressured to leave because of something I didn't realise would be an issue. RTFT and you'll see it's been explained. Envying my life and it all lack of trials is a silly thing to say though as this post reveals nothing about my life whatsoever.

You don't need a childrens menu to feed a child FFS, you can order yourself a larger mean and ask for a side plate or order some sides, and almost all restraints/cafes will make you up a plate of crudites etc if you ask for a very small extra charge

I love people like you. If you put a plate of crudités down in front of my kids they would laugh in your face.

And in the early months of weaning they ate absolutely anything, before you say this is a deficiency in my parenting. Guess what? Kids like pasta and sausage and mash and fishfingers and chips because they taste bloody great. Why waste money on something in a restaurant they probably won't eat?

YANBU
The people saying otherwise clearly have not had small children for a long time or were gifted with wonderful 'eat everything offered' children. Those rose coloured glasses are a wonderful thing!
Ridiculous restaurant, they deserved to lose your custom

I think you can normally judge it by the sort of restaurant you're at; some are more child friendly and accommodating than others!

However, I'd be annoyed too especially if they were rude about it. Ultimately, feeding your child a bit of pasta is hardly going to make a huge dent in their profits when you're ordering something yourself!

Tallulahoola as I said, you can order chips as a side dish, you don't need a dedicated childrens menu to do that!

"if your child is not able to eat from the menu then your child is not ready to be in those establishments"
Yes shame on op for carrying on going to places that enjoy. Don't you know that now your mother the only places your allowed to eat is play centres and greasy spoons where the today's special is spaghetti hoops.

I think before you got the food out you should have asked if it was fine to do so or asked before getting a table and avoid all the disappointment or the food waste.