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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
Writermom22 · 13/04/2017 20:22

If you hadn't been there before, and knew you had your child's dinner in your bag, why didn't you ask about their policy at the door? Then you could've chosen to go somewhere else without being so rude. Did you think that by not drinking the drinks, that they could have been given to someone else?

They would have been poured down the drain. What a waste. What you should have done was apologised for your mistake, cancelled the food order, paid for the drinks, drank up and left to find somewhere more child's-own-food friendly.

Cantthinkofabloodyusername · 13/04/2017 20:25

I think everyone is being a bit harsh. I would probably have asked on the way in if it was ok but honestly if they don't offer children's meals then I would be pretty shocked if they didn't allow you to bring in something for a baby. I eat out on a regular basis with my best friend and our children, my daughter usually eats from my plate or from the children's menu but my bf's son has multiple life threatening food allergies so she has to take food for him everywhere. We have never had so much as a sideways glance! Usually she will explain to the waiter when we sit down why she brings food for him but not every time.

Booboo66 · 13/04/2017 20:29

I wouldn't ask as I'd never have imagined it could be an issue.

starlight13 · 13/04/2017 20:34

That's right floggingmolly - the Beano of course - only one you're familiar with I guess? Why have you replied to my post and my points of view with derogatory comments? Are you the only one who has a worthy opinion do you think?

Shammz · 13/04/2017 20:36

I don't know why most people here are so negative! I always used to take baby/toddler food in restaurants because I knew my kids wouldn't eat anything from the menu or my plate. But then I found it ended up being more about the kid than enjoying yourself so then I used to feed them before going.

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 20:36

Touché , star

KitKats28 · 13/04/2017 20:39

IF I TYPE THIS IS CAPITALS, WILL PEOPLE READ IT? Every single person who has replied to this thread who works in the restaurant industry has said it's no big deal.

KitKats28 · 13/04/2017 20:41

IN not IS

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 20:42

I don't understand why people are so shocked and think OP is unreasonable. I think the restaurant was petty. The child was 14 months old, NOT 6 years old. They can be incredibly fussy, some have really challenging allergies. Plus I like my food spicy and very seasoned - I would hate to be restricted by my toddler in what I order. I think taking food to cafes for an older child or a grown up is cheeky. For a 14 months old... Come on...

ComputerUserNotTrained · 13/04/2017 20:44

KitKats Grin

Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 20:45

I hear you kitkat. It was never ever an issue when I worked in the restaurant industry either providing the person in question and the accompanying adults were all eating. I've never had an issue before anywhere I've eaten. I didn't ask because I didn't know it would/could even be an issue. Believe me I do now! I will ALWAYS be asking should I want to bring my own food for DS with me in future.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 20:45

*providing the person in question is a baby!

OP posts:
Shammz · 13/04/2017 20:47

I completely agree with you starlight13. Kids love pasta, it's easy to make, easy to carry in a container, can be eaten hot or cold and full of carbs which is great for a growing child. It probably is one of the most practical and best foods to take for younger kids and 14 months is still really little in my view, despite being given the label of "toddler"! Some kids at that stage have just learnt to walk or just started to eat proper solid foods. But most restaurants I've been to have been accommodating for younger ones, so it's completely normal to me to bring your own kiddie food and family based restaurants should accept that.

ChuffCloud · 13/04/2017 20:49

I'm really surprise people think you shouldn't take food for a 14 M O. I take food for my 2 year old. I've tried ordering children's meals and found them covered in salt or are always something which chips. I've never been questioned by the restaurant and I would tell them where to go if I was.

Leapfrog44 · 13/04/2017 20:54

For the restaurant it was a bit over the top to make a song a dance about it. I've run many restaurants and I'd never tell a customer off for doing this.

Having said that, I also don't understand why you're still carting around prepared meals for a 14month old. Maybe it's useful to have a snack in case of a hunger-tantrum but if you're heading out for something to eat, I'd never bring food. I think children should eat what grown ups eat (minus the salt at home) so they don't grow into fussy horrors.

thenovice · 13/04/2017 20:54

I'm really surprised at their response. My 2 DDs have never eaten a lot so right up until they were 6 and 4 we simply explained that they didn't eat much and asked if we could use our side plates to give them something off our own plates. The restaurants have always been lovely about it. Where was this? I will avoid it.

Booboo66 · 13/04/2017 21:05

Mine are 7 and 4, I'm a single parent and money is tight but more than that I hate wasting food.. I don't have a massive appetite so tend to order 2 meals to share between the 3 of us and ask for an extra plate. Not ever has that been an issue either. And I totally agree with eating the same thing at home but op wasn't at home and has stated there was nothing suitable on the menu for DC.

Chachaow · 13/04/2017 21:05

I think people are being quite harsh, 14 months is still a baby and I don't see what harm there is in bringing a bit of homemade food for them to eat if the adults are buying meals and drinks. I think this is generally accepted (around where I live anyway) and I don't see what the restaurant gained by doing what they did.

Strygil · 13/04/2017 21:07

"We were pretty much being asked to leave."

I wasn't getting my way, so I flounced.

Chachaow · 13/04/2017 21:09

Also to people having a go about the drinks - I'm not surprised the OP walked out, I would have done exactly the same. They'd made her feel very uncomfortable and upset so why would she feel inclined to give them her money.

Chachaow · 13/04/2017 21:10

strygil perfectly understandable to 'flounce' under the circumstances in my opinion. If you receive bad service why should you sit there and put up with it?

BillyButtfuck · 13/04/2017 21:11

Oh wow, this is still going on!? Hmm

MightyFine79 · 13/04/2017 21:13

YANBU. We ALWAYS have food in tow for ds, now 3. We eat out lots, sometimes he snacks from the bag straight off because who wants to wait for food with a grumpy kid banging on? Maybe we order him a meal, maybe he shares (which doesn't give the restaurant any more profits than bringing something with), but any which was we always have a polite friendly time, act respectful to all staff and other patrons, don't scrimp on our orders and tip generously. No-one has ever complained or given us any hassles. Maybe it's more friendly and easy-going in our corner of the world.

apringle · 13/04/2017 21:15

That restaurant is ridiculous- most food is so full of salt at restaurants I often brought my infant (under 2's) lunch along and we live in central London and nobody would ever care. Even now I bring fruit for my kids as they rarely offer it at restaurants in England.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/04/2017 21:19

IF I TYPE THIS IS CAPITALS, WILL PEOPLE READ IT? Every single person who has replied to this thread who works in the restaurant industry has said it's no big deal.

EXCEPT FOR THE ONES WHO SAID NO, IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE UNLESS YOU ASK FIRST, KitKats28.