Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
neveradullmoment99 · 13/04/2017 18:54

I cannot believe some of the comments on here that are agreeing with the restaurant. Her baby was 14 months old ffs!!!! Hardly an adult and still probably needing food cut up.

I think its a downright disgrace she could feed her baby with food she had brought in. What a child unfriendly place. Its not like one of the adults were having a sandwich.They were paying adults. Was it really worth the loss in custom. Post on twitter. Disgusting behaviour on the restaurants part. Its an utter disgrace. You should name and shame them.

minionsrule · 13/04/2017 18:56

Totally with you OP.

PP suggesting you give food from your plate - no benefit to restaurant at all so what is the point
PP suggesting you order something small for LO, well that would waste probably £5 if they hardly ate any
Food probably high in salt etc, I wouldn't give a 14 mth old cafe/restaurant proper food
You had ordered £35 worth of food - was feeding your 14 mth old such an offensive thing for you to do?
As for leaving without paying for drinks, well you didn't drink them and you weren't given a chance to have them - restaurants tough luck
I understand you don't go into a cafe, order a cup of tea then feed your kids M&S sandwiches, that is poor form but I can't see what you did was so wrong.
Next time, just to really take the pee, go in, ask if they can provide a meal that is gluten free, diary free and has not been within 100 miles of a nut - if they say no say fine, trust I am ok to feed my own food then Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/04/2017 19:06

"And all the other stuck up mums on here saying otherwise need to get a grip."

Oh you are so charming, @bexy229. Hmm

user789653241 · 13/04/2017 19:06

I feel some people are missing the point.
I think OP was totally reasonable to want to give her dc her own food.
OP was not reasonable not to ask for permission first. Not reasonable to argue when told not to, up to the point she was asked to leave.
It was reasonable for restaurant to have rules, and customer have a choice to eat there or not.

RedStripeIassie · 13/04/2017 19:10

YANBU at all! Really surprised by this thread.

bexy229 · 13/04/2017 19:12

Charming, honest and truthful, that's me WinkSmile

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OwlinaTree · 13/04/2017 19:14

Yanbu, but I'm saying this as I live in a very, very child friendly country. As an example, I brought in a meal for DS at a restaurant recently and when I was done the waiter asked if he could wash my bowl for me!

I live in the UK and I've had staff offer to do this on occasion. Why do you feel the need to say you live in a very very child friendly country? The UK is very very child friendly!

MissSeventies · 13/04/2017 19:16

Sometimes I wonder about Mumsnet. I don't think YABU. I think they were incredibly rude. I would have been fuming too. 15 months is still pretty small. My oldest was still bf (at night) at that age.

Shona52 · 13/04/2017 19:17

I'm with you on this OP with the age of your little one. I've never had that with my DS. Even now we have to take food out for our DS who's 5 (he has autism and very limited range of food) but I always try and order something for him from the place even if he doesn't eat it that way I have found they are more accommodating with personal needs.

Whathaveilost · 13/04/2017 19:23

fuming confused shocked baffled
Ffs, you like drama!

starlight13 · 13/04/2017 19:24

YANBU at all! Who on earth would order a 14 month old food from the menu? Either they have a lot of money to waste or they are the type who would be happy to order McDonald's or similar for their young children. Agree you could give LO healthy bits from your plate but bringing his own food is best and more than acceptable. The restaurant lost 2 customers because of their rudeness and ignorance. They'll only be selling formula instead of allowing breastfeeding next. I'm a restaurant critic for a well known magazine and I have never come across such a thing. Post their name and we'll name and shame them ☺

Estilou · 13/04/2017 19:30

This is quite normal where I come from. 14 months is really young. My 15 month old only eats fruit and puree. I would expect people to bring food for their kids until they turned 2. I have had children who have not been good eaters. Eldest is nearly 7 now though and eats most things so it's just a slow development in that area type thing.

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 19:33

There's nothing inherently healthy about pasta. When compared to some foods it can be a healthier choice, but it's all relative.
To suggest that bringing your own pasta is "best" for the child is pretty bizarre.
I would actually avoid a restaurant you gave a good write up to, if I knew who you were and could be arsed to read it.

CasanovaFrankenstein · 13/04/2017 19:33

Perfectly reasonable to bring food, at that age a lot of kids' menu food isn't suitable. Plus their meal times don't always chime with yours so it may have been snack time for him and lunch for you.

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 19:34

That was to Starlight, btw. What publication do you write for, is it the Beano?

Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 19:45

I'm finding it quite funny now that the people on this thread posting incessantly and are absolutely outraged-are also the same people who keep saying I can't handle anyone disagreeing with me (when I've already accepted that I was BU to assume it was okay) are the same people who are betraying anyone who disagrees with them. 'Not very intelligent', 'do you write for the Beano?' Seriously? Because someone disagrees with you. Very odd behaviour. You must have lots of time on your hands.

Thanks for any support given- this has been a pretty strange and very bitchy thread- who'd have thunk it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 19:46

*berating, not betraying

OP posts:
cherish123 · 13/04/2017 19:48

If an independent restaurant, I can see where they are coming from. I used to give mine a sandwich or something before going into the restaurant and just order a snack they would eat in there. Most places don't mind though and they probably were being a bit petty. I could have understood if your child was older but it sounds like there was not anything for him on the menu.

TinselTwins · 13/04/2017 19:53

It costs them money in terms of staffs time to clean a high chair that has been used! YABU!

You don't need a childrens menu to feed a child FFS, you can order yourself a larger mean and ask for a side plate or order some sides, and almost all restraints/cafes will make you up a plate of crudites etc if you ask for a very small extra charge

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 13/04/2017 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummypeepee · 13/04/2017 19:56

Sorry yabu. Order off menu. Saying nothing they would like is a cop out. You wouldn't take a sandwich for yourself, or drinks etc. It's a business

SecretsInSpitalfield · 13/04/2017 20:08

OP - I think that they were totally unreasonable towards you.. in saying that you should have paid for the drinks ..then you'd be the 'better' person! Should've had the drinks and paid and walked out. Done. And never go back to such a place.

AmberLav · 13/04/2017 20:11

Been on holiday this week, and when we have eaten in a restaurant, we have openly fed our 15 month old our own food. Most kids meals are x and chips, and she won't eat that, or at least not in decent portions. I have no desire to order myself a meal that she might eat, when I can bring her own food... She'll have a few bits off our plates... I have never had anything say anything... But I'd probably just say "oh sorry" and feed her from under the table...

HenriVan · 13/04/2017 20:15

It's seems innocent enough taking food into a restaurant but there are risks. Suppose the child got sick - could be the food you brought in, an airborne virus or perhaps you used some cutlery that was not properly cleaned. In any event you may level a criticism about the restaurant whom may be completely innocent. The food hygiene standards people would get involved and they always find something - this is a real can of worms and the reason many eateries shy away from this - before you go out, give junior a good meal and at the table give him/her some colouring pencils - but, for God sake, don't let them put them in their mouth or read again from the top