To be fuming at this restaurant?

[Ginge85]

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there . He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

I'm quite surprised at peoples response to this.
I worked in a chain restaurant for 4yrs that had a kids menu, but people regularly brought food in for kids small enough to be in highchairs (just as some regularly brought them meals from the restaurant). Never blinked an eye, Also went to a nice garden centre cafe with a friend whos daughter was around 14 months not long ago and she brought sandwiches and nibbles for her child (they also sold sandwiches) and no one looked at her funny.
Once they hit 2 maybe, but really dont see the issue!

I agree with you OP. At 14 months a child's meal would be way too big and a waste of money. I wouldn't give him bits from my plate because a. He'd chuck a lot of it on the floor and b. I don't necessarily want to order a child friendly meal.

Sorry, @mummycaroline, but I don't think it would be reasonable to still be bringing in food for a three year old! By then you should be able to find something to suit the vast majority of children.

Why would anyone look at her funny for buying a sandwich for the child? Have you missed the point by any chance, catherine?

Oh no, I have. She brought, not bought.

Apologies - that comment was to @mummycarolyn. I should have checked the spelling.

Mark it down to experience. It's probably best to ask before you order, in case they object. But he does sound like he was rather rude. Surely he could have just asked you to stop feeding the babe!

If he asked you to leave before you had a chance to touch your drinks, then it's on him. I wouldn't have offered to pay either.

YANBU at all!!! Why would you buy your child a plate of food they probs won't eat? And all the other stuck up mums on here saying otherwise need to get a grip.

That's exactly what he did do, Jax. Even op has admitted that

I always took food in for mine when they were v little. Would they have also refused if it was a pot of purée if the little one was younger? YANBU

What's "stuck up" about being on the side of a waiter who has, perfectly reasonably, asked a customer to comply with a perfectly normal restaurant policy. bexy229? Are you, too, routinely "fuming" at service workers who are just trying to do their jobs? In which case I think you need to re-evaluate who is "stuck up".

Hmm, well... in this instance I think you're being a little unreasonable.
I would argue some children have very specific allergies or dietary requirements, but also if they're bad enough to require food especially made by you, don't take them out with you to eat or find a venue that is happy for you to do so, perhaps call ahead to check.

I don't think this is a case of the restaurant not being child friendly, your child is old enough to eat what you're eating. I always order my 12 month old a small side or she eats off my plate as she hardly eats much. Sides are usually around £3-4 in the restaurants we frequent and they always let us take it home if she doesn't finish it. "Fuming" seems to be a bit of an overreaction.

I haven't read all the posts so sorry if I'm putting something someone else has! I don't think you are being unreasonable ... it's not like you were only spending a couple of pounds on a coffee and feeding dc food from home! Children's portions can be far too large for a toddler! Also many said you should of given dc some of yours but what difference does this make, the restaurant wouldn't be making any extra money this way either?! At least you know your child would eat the pasta and not made a mess as they may have done with a meal you felt forced to buy not knowing if it would be liked

I understand that it is often a clause in cafe and restaurants' insurance that only food bought on the premises is consumed there, not for money making reasons but for hygiene - you could get ill from food you've brought with you and it would be difficult for the restaurant to prove it wasn't their fault. I expect big chains often make less of a fuss because it must be a rare circumstance and one incident wouldn't do them major financial damage whereas a smaller business might be vulnerable.

As a licence holder and landlady of a very child friendly pub/restaurant you are definitely NOT being unreasonable. Baby food is always fine, especially while still small enough to use a highchair. Can't believe so many people think otherwise.

I honestly don't see the difference between feeding off the plate either .. The premises makes no more money and hygiene isn't a factor here

YABCU. Almost all restaurants would do this. If it had been a babe in arms, I could have understood, but 14 months ? No.

I know you want the thread to die down OP, but I just wanted to add my support for you. YANBU and you've had some very nasty posts.

I've had 2 babies and never bought them a meal until they were about 2 when eating out.

Haven't read the whole thread, only the first couple of pages. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Many children of this age won't eat enough of, "strange" food to warrant ordering a whole portion, even a child sized portion. Added to which, "children's menus" are usually stuffed with the kind of rubbish I wouldn't put into a toddler's mouth anyway. Chips, cheap burgers, cheap sausages, rotten bits of reconstituted fowl and fish in additive filled, "crumb" Oooh yummy! (Not!) And who wants to spend money on eating out and be constrained by having to order, "something the DC will eat some of"? Which, has already been pointed out, isn't going to increase the restaurant's revenue one penny anyway! I think they were very short sighted OP and would have walked out too.

Yanbu on the issue of the baby food, when we owned our restaurant we didn't bat an eyelid when parents fed their babies. I do think you should have paid for the drinks though.

A 14 month baby! Sorry I would absolutely expect to feed my baby it's own food! I've never experienced anything so ridiculous and I have a 22, 12 and 10 year old. After the age of 2 I see no reason not to buy at the restaurant and like others have suggested I would buy something that kids could eat from our meals or if two children I've got them to share a meal. Restaurants are bad enough with food issues and knowing what's in their food I would not trust them with a baby so small! X

I'm on both sides here. If a place had an issue and either had a sign with the policy on it or I was asked not to then I would abide by those wishes but generally IF I was taking food for my children when they were younger I would do the following. ALWAYS wait until my food had arrived because if they can see you eating restaurant food they are A less likely to notice a child's snack and B less likely to mind. Anything I brought was always a very small portion of something like a bag of those baby veggie crisps or a fruit bag or even those ella's kitchen fruit sachets as my kids loved them even when they were well into eating solid food and because it's technically baby food again it tends to slip past notice. The food I take is usually an emergency though, I generally try to find a kids meal of side that my little Ines would eat. I would often ask a place if they could make me up a couple of spoonfuls of plain pasta or just some vegetables and a few places were more than happy to provide this for free a few others charging say 99p as an "extra" on my meal.

I think whilst many places don't mind a small child under 2 having outside food it isnt unreasonable for them to say no either. Considering you had ordered two adult meals then it sounds like the guy was over reacting a bit. I think if you'd have perhaps waited until you were eating your own meal and then opened up the home made pasta they might not have said anything but they probably are used to so many people bringing in food and just ordering drinks.

Yanbu, but I'm saying this as I live in a very, very child friendly country. As an example, I brought in a meal for DS at a restaurant recently and when I was done the waiter asked if he could wash my bowl for me! I don't see a big deal either but I do understand if there are rules that need to be complied with .