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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
SuffolkingGrand · 13/04/2017 09:43

Computer I never mentioned H&S - nothing to do with that at all.

More like PFB.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/04/2017 10:34

"At 14 months dd was still bf. She had a problem eating solid food. Would the waiter have had a problem with this."

Of course not, @Oliversmumsarmy! Unless the restaurant provided breastmilk/a wet nurse! The OP's child is capable of eating solid food - the restaurant has solid food of many and varied kinds on their menu, so there were plenty of options for her, should she wish to order food for her child.

If your child was ebf, there would have been precisely zero options on the menu for them, therefore the waiter would not have been able to object. Plus you are legally allowed to breastfeed where you want - so very different from the OP's circumstances.

ohforfoxsake · 13/04/2017 10:44

OP, have you checked restaurant website if there's one, or reviews on TripAdvisor? I'm wondering if anyone else has had the same experience.

I think it's really petty of the restaurant and poor form. Returning customers and rave reviews make an awful lot of difference to a business!

Imamouseduh · 13/04/2017 10:51

Are you kidding me? They could have called the police on you for not paying for the food you ordered, whether you are it or not. And the no food from outside is a health and safety issue. If you get sick you can blame the restaurant. Get a fucking clue.

gandalf456 · 13/04/2017 11:03

Yup. Read it thanks.

DorkMaiden · 13/04/2017 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/04/2017 11:10

Okay ladies. With the greatest of respect I think it's time you all found something better to do now. I've addressed it, I've held my hands up, I've got what I wanted from this thread ultimately and I'm going to bed. You all clearly get some sort of kick out of aggravating posters and it's a bit embarrassing Now tbh.

Translation: "I posted on AIBU about being "fuming", expecting everyone to agree with me. Now that they haven't, I'm going to pass-agg insult them and imply that they are the ones with a problem, even though many think I was the rude, unreasonable one."

Rossigigi · 13/04/2017 11:11

Sorry but you were being unreasonable......

Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 11:15

archeryannie funny how you quoted me there to further you own point. But left of the bit where I say on the same post;

Again thanks for all of the sensible, rational posts that actually make sense. Whether they be agreeing or disagreeing with me! Grin

Hmm

Let this die now. There's nothing new being said.

OP posts:
gandalf456 · 13/04/2017 11:17

It's funny because I often find myself agreeing with the op in a ibuprofen so it's not everyone. I can see how the op often gets upset. It's not the disagreeing but the rudeness and way over the top , sarcastic comparisons that do it. Eg own burgers in McDonalds and 4 course picnic. I don't see why the op should.tolerate that.

gandalf456 · 13/04/2017 11:21

Op not ibuprofen

PonderLand · 13/04/2017 11:52

Oo this is interesting. I took DS to John Lewis cafe yesterday and forgot any snacks for him, he's dairy and soya-free and likes finger foods or purée (10m). John Lewis wouldn't give us a small portion of potato things so we had to pay for a full adult portion as that was the only dairy-free option.
I'd of used my own food for him if I'd remembered it. I'm glad I've read this thread now and will remember to ask in future :) I can understand why you thought it would be okay OP

KitKats28 · 13/04/2017 12:48

Right @gandalf456, so you'll know that my four course picnic comment was in response to @SearchingforGrandparents who said, a few pages back, that there had been new legislation brought in that says children under 2 can "legally" eat their own food in a restaurant. I was asking her (for the third time) to provide a link to this. Good luck with getting a prosecution on that one @Searching 😉

Funnyfarmer · 13/04/2017 13:54

Nearly 24 hours have past since op admitted she was bu and has said it's taught her a lesson and will check in future. So why is everyone so insistent on bashing her and probably making her feel shit. Nothing short of bullying in my eyes. Would you carry on like this with a work colleague after they've admitted they was wrong and apologised?
What different does her age and how many kids she has make?

hellejuice91 · 13/04/2017 14:31

It is very common to not allow customers to bring their own food into a restaurant. The issue is more about who else is in the restaurant. If another family with say a 10 year old child started getting their own food out they could say - but you let that baby eat! Etc maybe call up in advance to check in the future and they may make a special allowance

KitKats28 · 13/04/2017 15:10

@Funnyfarmer, because people read the first post and think they have something witty and original to say that hasn't already been said 200 times. If they actually read the thread, they would see that, but their opinions are far too important to do that.

gandalf456 · 13/04/2017 15:37

I can't find the legislation either but I don't disagree on the principle on a voluntary basis. Babies eat very little and are unlikely to eat their own dish anyway never mind a four course picnic or their own burgers in McDs. I think the entire thread is a hysterical overreaction and the waiter is a prize knob Berkshire. A baby wouldn't make a restaurant any money - it's the adults that do and the stupid prick just lost £35 plus any repeat visits( including when op baby is older, if it's kids he doesn't like) and those of any friends the OP decides to tell

Algebraic · 13/04/2017 15:49

I'm actually going to disagree with most of the people and say you weren't being unreasonable.

Usually the 'no outside food' is so the restaurant can profit further from you purchasing extra drinks or food. In this case if your child had just eaten a little of your meal they still wouldn't have profited, so it seems completely pointless to kick up a stink.

I've worked in numerous restaurants/cafes and would never have questioned parents bringing their own food, as long as they were spending money on themselves. In fact, I wouldn't blink an eye until the child was about 3. I just find it standard that parents bring their own food for their child....

Craigie · 13/04/2017 17:28

YABU. You shouldn't take food for a toddler. Ask for a small side plate, order something your child will eat for your own meal & share.

CatOnMyLap · 13/04/2017 17:41

Bucking the trend but I'm with the OP here. I think it's perfectly reasonable for a relatively young baby (14 months) to eat a small pot of home made food in a restaurant where two adults are ordering £35 worth of food and drinks. Pretty sure I did this frequently when DS was younger and no one ever minded. The restaurant wouldn't have received any more money if they had fed him scraps from their own plates as some people on here are suggesting, so what is the harm? I don't know what kind of restaurant it was, but if it was, say, sushi, or he was a fussy eater, or he arrived starving at midday and their food wasn't going to come for 30 minutes, this seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. It would never have occurred to me to spend money on a restaurant meal for a one year old. Surely the 'no food of your own' rule is for people who come in with their own sandwiches?

SoloD · 13/04/2017 17:43

Not being unreasonable in my opinion, most restaurants don't have child friendly meals and while I encourage mine to try new food buying them a plate of something they are not going to eat is not sensible.

Idiotic of the restaurant to forgo two adult meals + drinks for the sake of a child's meal.

MrsC45 · 13/04/2017 17:44

Yanbu (except for not paying for the drinks!) It's ridiculous to be upset about homemade food being provided to a baby! Restaurant food is made for adults and older children, it's probably got too much salt in for a baby! Plus why would you want to stay when they have made you so uncomfortable! What utter idiots!

Wando1986 · 13/04/2017 17:48

Why would you think it was OK to take food to a restaurant for DS to eat? Apart from the fact they are liable for anything consumed on the premesis, how rude are you? What a bizarre thing to do, let alone get angry about when you were asked to stop.

mummycarolyn · 13/04/2017 17:51

This thread is a bit crazy. Every mother has drastically different standards of what constitutes an acceptable and nutritious food for their child. Like some others, I bring food in for my 9 month old - he only eats from a small list of solids. I could see myself bringing food in for a 14 month or even a snack for a 3 year old. But I can also see how some mothers would do differently and feed them whatever they're eating at the same age and later - and that's totally fine too. The poster's brand of mothering isn't wrong, nor is yours where you feed them cafe food. Yanbu poster and everyone should show a bit of empathy.

thatmakesmehappy · 13/04/2017 17:53

I have to say, I would have ordered something for my 1 year old, or I'd have ordered something we could have shared. I'd never feed my son things I'd brought, unless it was a jar or baby food or milk.
Sorry, but I think that having not paid for drinks too yabu!