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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
elkegel · 13/04/2017 06:35

I never ordered anything off the menu for DDs when they were under two, it just wasn't worth it, not even kids meals as they ate such tiny amounts and the kuds meals were aimed at five year olds . They would just have bits off our plates. I can't remember if I brought food for them as well. In my experience people DO bring milk and food for babies though and restaurants are very good about it, offering to heat it up etc. I don't think many would regard a baby in a high chair as a paying customer who needs to order off the menu, as long as there are adults having meals and drinks with them.

elkegel · 13/04/2017 06:47

Also when there was no children's menu and they were very small, they got a plate and had bits from us. So the restaurant mafe no additional revenue from having a baby there, and it would have been no different to them had we brought our own food for them.

TonaldDrump · 13/04/2017 06:58

My dc is 2 and I always take a small something for her to eat when we go out. The menu isn't always appropriate or something she'd like. Yanbu

catsarenice · 13/04/2017 07:09

Wow I'm shocked by how many people think ybu! I always take food for 10mo DS if we're eating out - never occurred to me that restaurants would mind if everyone else at the table is ordering a proper meal. I find it easier to give lunch items rather that a hot meal as it takes him longer and finger foods amuse him. If the restaurant sells baby jars then I wouldn't take my own one, I would buy theirs as they're providing exactly what I want but I'd still give a couple of rice cakes etc to keep him occupied until the food arrived. YDNBU

Nokia3310 · 13/04/2017 07:10

It's different if the child is about 6 months, but certainly by the time the child reaches a year you need to just go to places where you think your child will eat. Otherwise what's going to stop you bringing in a pre-cooked meal when he's 6?

elkegel · 13/04/2017 07:13

Otherwise what's going to stop you bringing in a pre-cooked meal when he's 6?
What, other than extreme inconvenience and logic?

SuffolkingGrand · 13/04/2017 07:15

Why did you take your kid to a place which you didn't think was kid friendly in the first place???

YABVU especially for walking out without paying and to describe yourself as "fuming".

Get a grip.

KitKats28 · 13/04/2017 07:20

I love people who join the end of a multi page thread, having not bothered to read it, and post something that has already been said (and argued about) a few hundred times. 🙄

I'm still waiting for the link to this new legislation allowing under 2s to bring a four course picnic into a restaurant 🤣🤣

OwlinaTree · 13/04/2017 07:27

I can't believe this has run to 18 pages! Total overreaction on here 'will be take his own burger to macdonalds?' ffs.

gandalf456 · 13/04/2017 07:32

Stupid vow. And 4 course picnic? Ffs. The baby would eat 10 pieces of pasta at most

CoffeeAndOranges · 13/04/2017 07:35

I always have something in my bag for my 16 month old- mainly in case any food we order takes years to arrive and he gets grumpy. Also helps to know I have something he will happily eat. But I always ask if it's ok and if they said no, I'd just have to give him some of mine/get a side. No one has ever said it's not ok though so I'm not surprised you assumed it would be.

At the end of the day they are trying to run a business and we don't actually have to be there if we don't want to. Sounds like the waiter was being a bit heavy handed though.

dilapidated · 13/04/2017 07:38

Friends do this when we go out for dinner or lunch.
Never assumed it would be a problem and no ones ever mentioned it.
Each time the restaurant staff have been more than happy to accommodate her child without forcing them to eat off their menu

JoandMax · 13/04/2017 07:41

I don't think I've ever been told to stop giving DC food in any cafes/restaurants but I can see why it makes sense they don't want you to.... I probably took stuff until DS2 was 4 and was never questioned over it (he was tube fed though and has major food issues), DS1 always ate bits of mine or off menu as he got older.

I think your best response would of been to apologize and say you hadn't realized and then let them try some of your food, getting defensive clearly just escalated things!

KitKats28 · 13/04/2017 07:58

@gandalf456, RTFT. Then you would know what I was talking about 🙄

Oblomov17 · 13/04/2017 07:59

How old are you OP? You sound very young with a lack of street cred.
Where are you? Uk?

Soubriquet · 13/04/2017 08:15

At first I thought yabu but actually, I think yanbu.

We don't eat out a lot but when we do I still rarely order a meal each for the 2 and 4 year old. The portions are usually huge so I end up ordering one meal and a spare plate before splitting it between them.

If I ordered one meal and brought in one meal, the restaurant wont have made any loss. Same as one meal split.

I think the restaurant cut of their nose to spite their face really as they ended up losing money for something they wouldn't have profited on in the first place

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/04/2017 08:15

At 14 months dd was still bf. She had a problem eating solid food. Would the waiter have had a problem with this.

YABU. Kids menus are generally (with the two large pub chains I have worked for) designed for 1 year olds to 12 year olds

Are these the pub chains that have the microscopic children's meals. How can the meals be the same for a 1 year old and a12 year old.
We ordered a children's meal pasta with tomato sauce and it came on a saucer and was one tablespoon for £4.50.
Is this what you mean by catering for 1 year olds and 12 year olds.

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 13/04/2017 08:17

Whether you were being unreasonable or not to bring in your own food is kind of by the by.
The simple fact is that the staff in the restaurant asked to to stop and you refused so they asked you to leave.
Had you said 'oh sorry' and put the pasta away this wouldn't have happened.

MaisyPops · 13/04/2017 08:17

YANBU to have a small pot for baby. It is no different to eating off your plate. It's massively different to getting out a meal deal or sausage roll out for toddler/chikdren who should eat a childs meal.

YABU to walk about without paying. You could have left the money and said "in which case we are best not giving you our custom".

SuffolkingGrand · 13/04/2017 08:51

How many kids do you have, OP?

Casschops · 13/04/2017 09:03

My little fella is 8 months old and I frequently take my own food for him as he has difficulty waiting and would scream the cafe down if he sees people with food. I always ask first and always order food for myself. I've never had a problem and have worked in catering fo many years as both waitress and I wouldn't ever bat an eyelid at parents bringing their own food as long as they have ordered something themselves.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/04/2017 09:07

maisy wouldn't the fact you are paying mean that you are giving them your custom.

I certainly wouldn't have paid for something I wasn't allowed to eat.

GardeningWithDynamite · 13/04/2017 09:09

If you're asked to leave a restaurant you don't have to pay.

Probably a good idea to check that the restaurant are happy with you giving the baby something but really most places aren't bothered.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 13/04/2017 09:10

Ah, another person with actual experience of the industry. But what would we know, eh? Grin

Suffolk what's that got to do with the price of fish? Does having lots of children give people insider knowledge of made up H&S legislation? Confused

ComputerUserNotTrained · 13/04/2017 09:20

@theduchessstill I missed your post earlier. That is so true about the taxi Grin

It's as if some people are so fixated on following the law that they invent their own, coz they're aren't enough roolz already. It's bizarre Confused

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