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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
aforandromeda · 13/04/2017 00:08

I may be being U by bringing food in for my baby but it was very poor customer service

Your toddler wasn't a customer and was breaking the rules.
Pedantic, I know but, just saying.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 00:10

Sorry. Don't need 'advice' on how to parent or bring up my own child. You don't know the personal circs in regards to my DS, nor or they relevant. Nor is it relevant what other posters DC were doing at 14 months. All children are different. Judge away on my pot of pasta. But judge on my parenting without knowing a thing- no I don't think so.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 13/04/2017 00:15

I don't think people were judging your pot of pasta, OP Hmm.

I think they were judging you for other things, such as not checking if it was ok to bring your own food into a restaurant, and not trying to find somewhere that had food on the menu that your child would eat.

Theycalledmethewildrose · 13/04/2017 00:17

Judge away on my pot of pasta.

But OP you courted judgement by posting a question asking if you were being unreasonable. You seem annoyed that the majority of posters don't agree with you and to be fair some of your replies as a result are quite hostile. If you were the same in the restaurant, I can understand why the waiter had to be persistent.

BitOutOfPractice · 13/04/2017 00:21

Op this is one of the few times I'm going to say "get a grip". Confused and shocked? Give over.

And he "pretty much" told you to leave. I.e. He didn't at tell you at all

BillyButtfuck · 13/04/2017 00:22

OP why exactly did you post on AIBU? You clearly don't want to listen or take on board any of the comments which disagree with you.
Have you taken anything from this thread in or will you just continue as you were?

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 00:23

Where is this famous legislation then, so we can all quote it next time we rock up with a three course meal for our two year old's?
Should we just say Trading Standards told SearchingforGrandparents, so it must be true?

Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 00:25

Haven't meant to be hostile. Might just be at the fact that people are just repeating things I've already addressed several times and saying things that IMO (and seemingly I'm not alone in thinking this) are way over the top. If I'm getting hostile responses and being made out to be the worlds worst when I've already held my hands up then ofc- isn't that natural? I'm not bringing my child up right, I'm a nightmare, a pain in the arse, breaking the law, a twat, VVVU- for feeding my baby some food that I genuinely didn't realise would be an issue. Some of these responses are ridiculous! I'm Fine with disagreements, I've even come round to agree myself to a lot of them- as stated. He was persistent in that he stood there and didn't leave and put pressure on us to leave.

OP posts:
toobreathless · 13/04/2017 00:26

Haven't read the whole thread but I am TOTALLY with you on this one.

I have three small kids and I often bring a packed lunch for them. I do always order myself/DH a full meal and drinks and buy them something. This does also tend to be cafes in places like M&S rather than independent businesses.

Apart from anything else I would not be happy with my c18mo eating out more than very occasionally due to the salt content of a lot of cafe food.

So I'm with you OP :)

Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 00:26

billy if you read the post you will see I've addressed lots of comments that disagree with me.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 00:27

Three kids with a packed lunch? You have GOT to be joking?

SuburbanRhonda · 13/04/2017 00:29

How exactly did he "put pressure" on you to leave?

From what you've posted, he explained that you couldn't continue to feed your child food you'd brought in and if you did, you'd have to leave. He gave you a choice. You chose to leave.

aforandromeda · 13/04/2017 00:30

Sorry he's a baby

But he eats pasta. And the restaurant can cook you some pasta.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 00:30

suburban please refer to my earlier responses regarding this and what happened exactly.

OP posts:
BillyButtfuck · 13/04/2017 00:33

Yes I have read the entire thread thank you Hmm and you continue to not address the fact that you didnt pay for your drinks even though you weren't kicked out or forced to leave, you made a choice between the options given to you and left without paying for your drinks which you ordered and then didn't drink - what did you expect them to do, stick them in the fridge and give them to someone else?
You also continue to defend and minimalise your coaster sized pot of pasta.

So back to my question, have you taken anything from this or will you just continue as you were and stick with taking your own food for dc?

NewBallsPlease00 · 13/04/2017 00:35

My child has multiple allergies so we have to take food to be sure it's 'safe' but skyways ask at point of booking ~ some say they can cater others don't mind

Theycalledmethewildrose · 13/04/2017 00:36

Three kids with a packed lunch? You have GOT to be joking?

This ^

This is beyond rude. I don't buy for one second, your concern over the salt content. It is just an excuse. M&S cafes have a whole section completely for children and if you aren't happy with the selection of food they offer, then go elsewhere.

Although when three out of five aren't eating, the best thing to do is buy some food to take away and you could all eat outside.

This has to be a joke!

SuburbanRhonda · 13/04/2017 00:37

I did refer to your earlier posts.

The problem is that you've changed the story as pp have pointed out. You also said several times that the waiter "pretty much" asked you to leave, without explaining what "pretty much" means. Either he asked you to leave or he didn't, and if he explained that you couldn't bring in your own food and you chose to leave because you wanted to continue to use your own food, then that's your choice.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 00:38

Confused I've addressed not paying for the drinks three times throughout the thread.

I'm sorry there's literally nothing I can add without repeating myself. The answers to what you've asked about what happened have been stated several times.

In regards to taking something from the thread- I've also said- several times- that I fully accept why it may have BU for me to assume it was okay for me to feed DS good of my own, and not ask. And I will be doing so in future with anywhere we eat. That was the issue I posted about- I've learnt lessons from it, as stated. I think you should maybe re-read!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginge85 · 13/04/2017 00:38

suburban I've quoted it word for word earlier. I've said 'pretty much' as I didn't feel it necessary to quote it word for word every time I referred to it.

OP posts:
BillyButtfuck · 13/04/2017 00:40

I have re-read and note with interest where you wrote so maybe just stop posting now? I think I'm going to be doing the same

Grin
Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 00:40

He was persistent in that he stood there. Waiting for you to put the pasta away? Or stop arguing, maybe?

BillyButtfuck · 13/04/2017 00:42

.

To be fuming at this restaurant?
SuburbanRhonda · 13/04/2017 00:43

You used the term "pretty much" in your second post, and had not previously having quoted "word for word" what was said in your first post, so your explanation doesn't make sense.

aforandromeda · 13/04/2017 00:46

That would have made the restaurant precisely no extra money, so I don't understand why that is seen as "better"?

Because it's not in the slightest bit about money.
It's about rules about what can and cannot be eaten within the premises. It's about Tupperware dishes making the place look like a picnic area. It's about who is responsible if somebody chokes on pasta. It's about a restaurant being a place where people go to buy food. And if you cannot go into a restaurant where they will be able to provide food for all your party then you shouldn't go in.
(Having said that, I can't think of one single restaurant I've been in that wouldn't have had a single thing that a 14 month old couldn't happily chomp on. It's part of the excitement of being a toddler.
New stuff. New stuff to chew)
Very short sighted of any parent to take along boring old pasta to a Soul Food restaurant IMO. Kids love rice and peas but will never get the chance to taste them if Mum brings along the old pasta tub every time.

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