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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
applesareredandgreen · 12/04/2017 22:37

OP was probably unreasonable for walking out of the restaurant- but I think the restaurant was also unreasonable in regards the baby food. I took food into restaurants for DS until he was about 2-3 and never had a problem with this (admittedly this was some years back now......)

stolemyusername · 12/04/2017 22:37

I wouldn't have paid for drinks that I hadn't been allowed to drink either. What's the op supposed to do, skull them before she leaves?

OwlinaTree · 12/04/2017 22:37

But then, we don't live in the uk, which is breathtakingly child unfriendly.

Oh ffs, not this bollocks again!

Wishforsnow · 12/04/2017 22:38

Bet the restaurant were glad you walked out!

ArcheryAnnie · 12/04/2017 22:39

If someone posts in AIBU "fuming" about something, and lots of people reply saying YABU, and giving detailed reasons, and then the OP keeps on saying "well, I'll do things differently next time, but I still don't see the problem, it's not a big deal, I haven't committed a crime" etc etc, then it's not "moronic" or "bitchy" to point out what the problem is.

(And I still think it was the OP who was rude and entitled in the original scenario.)

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 22:40

Tbf, in the original post, op says she was awkwardly told she couldn't feed her child her homemade pasta.
She was only "thrown out" by a very angry waiter in a later drip feed.

witchywoohoo · 12/04/2017 22:41

No one said it was moronic or bitchy to disagree with the OP Archery.

kel1493 · 12/04/2017 22:42

Sorry but I do think yabu about it. Most places will not allow you to bring food in.
Perhaps next time check the menu, and ensure there is something suitable on the menu for your ds.
Agree he could have said some from your plate (though personally I could and would not not order my lo his own meal).

ArcheryAnnie · 12/04/2017 22:42

FFS - she was told to leave. Why should she pay for drinks she is not being allowed to consume?

I understood the OP as saying that she was given the choice: comply with a perfectly normal condition common to many/most restaurants (don't bring own food) or leave. It was the OP's decision to leave, as she did not wish to comply. She says in her very first post that she was "fuming" and "walked out", not that she was ejected.

sitonyourbottom · 12/04/2017 22:43

I live in central London, have three children and have taken food with me for them when they were babies (up until age of maybe 9 months) into countless pubs and restaurants. I have NEVER been challenged / told off / asked to order something off the menu. From 6-9 months ish I would take something for them that I knew they would eat and because some places may not have something suitable for small children. After 9 months (or probs bit younger with secret me and subsequent 😳) I would usually be able to find something on the menu to order.

However at 16 months or whatever it is very easy to find something to order for your son - am amazed you could be bothered to take pre made pasta at that age! - and though it surprises me that you were challenged it also surprises me that you didn't just order him something from the menu for the sake of a few quid.

ArcheryAnnie · 12/04/2017 22:45

witchy if you have a problem with any of the posts you should report them, rather than calling people "moronic" and "bitchy".

Primaryteach87 · 12/04/2017 22:47

I don't think yabu at all. Where I live, this is totally normal and have done the same myself.

It's not just the size, restaurant food is v high sugar and salt for a baby. I literally have never come across a restaurant in my home city who has any issue with this. The only exception being those that specifically cater for toddlers/babies- where of course you buy the carrot sticks & humous or whatever.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 22:48

I looked at the menu. I knew as DS's mother there was nothing he would eat on the menu. In other restaurants maybe there would be, but not this one. It was a cafe, and had never been challenged or asked this before. So I genuinely didn't know it could be an issue for a baby, which he is. As I've stated I will check in future after reading the outrage on this post.
As for breaking the law, no. I didn't eat or drink anything and was pressured to leave by the waiters attitude. I don't think some people are reading my posts before replying. No offence taken to disagreeing with me, fair enough. But acting like a pot of pasta is the crime of the century- urgh no!

OP posts:
KitKats28 · 12/04/2017 22:48

@maddiemookins16mum why should I get over it? It is not difficult or complicated to use person-first terms when referring to, you know, people.

gandalf456 · 12/04/2017 22:50

Yanbu. It's a baby and it's not as if he'd eat much or you were bringing sandwiches for yourselves too

OwlinaTree · 12/04/2017 22:51

YANBU op. The café are BU.

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 22:52

If the waiter was pressuring you to leave, why did he bring your drinks order?

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 22:54

He brought the drinks order and then saw me feeding the baby. It was then that the issue arose. I've mentioned this several times.

OP posts:
ArcheryAnnie · 12/04/2017 22:56

Then it was still your decision to leave rather than comply with the (perfectly normal) restaurant conditions. The fact that you didn't like those restaurant conditions was no excuse to run out on the bill.

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 22:58

he pretty much told us to get out, and had only just put them down
That's actually what you mentioned, op. But you also mentioned that he awkwardly asked you to put the pasta away.
Were there two waiters? One; with an alter ego?

StrangeLookingParasite · 12/04/2017 23:01

She didn't just feed her kid a pot of pasta. She left without paying for her drinks. That is not classy.

You are not much of a one for reading, really, are you?
And ooh, she's not 'classy'? Hmm
She left in shock after being told to leave.

Bluntness100 · 12/04/2017 23:03

Op, I think the problem on this thread, and I've only read your responses, is it went from the waiter being awkward and persistent and you walking out without paying and being fuming you couldn't give your child a bowl of pasta you brought in, to him being very rude and chucking you out and you being simply naive, confused and totally innocent of all wrong doing.. Two very different stories.

Yes, feeding a baby purée or milk is normally fine in a restaurant, but serving a toddler a bowl of pasta you brought from home is very different and many restaurants will have an issue with this.

Your child is getting older and maybe it would be better to go to restaurants where you know you can feed him something from your plate, or the restaurant is fine with you bringing in your own cooked meals for him.

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 23:03

I have read the thread. With all it's glaring inconsistencies... But it doesn't matter, because op is not being unreasonable.
So she says.

AnoiseAnnoysanOyster · 12/04/2017 23:04

Yabu, either buy something for him or buy something for yourself he can share. I did this all the time. Unless your baby is six months old and eating purée, your child is 14 months old. Yabu to be baffled, shocked and fuming. 🙄

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 23:05

Nope one waitor. It was pretty empty, one or two other tables- only a small place. He awkwardly said initially that they wouldn't allow food to be consumed in the premises had it not been purchased there. I was shocked as I've NEVER encountered this before with the baby on the MANY occasions I've done so at other places. So I said (if you must have the full commentary) "oh. I didn't realise, I've never had this problem before anywhere else? We've ordered our own full order so I didn't see the problem?" To which he got instantly shirty and said loudly "well it's not okay here so you'll have to leave if you're feeding him that here" which I obviously already was. He raised his eyebrows and it was VERY clear that we were not welcome there. I was taken aback as was my friend, and it was very awkward. We felt very uncomfortable by his attitude and then said "okay we'll go" and stood up and put DSback in pram etc. He then stood there looking annoyed and watched us silently whilst we did so. And we left.

OP posts:
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