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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ragdoll545 · 12/04/2017 22:05

I took my 8 month old to a restaurant and asked them to heat up a pouch of baby food I had for my sons dinner, they politely said no as they sold them there, so I bought the baby food from the restaurant. It was practically the same as the food they refused to heat up for me. There was a large group of us so by your standards if we all got up and left they could have lost a lot of money over some baby food but a policy is a policy. Was I offended? No! Did I mention I'd never had this problem before? No! I simply paid a couple of extra pounds, sympathised entirely with what they were saying and enjoyed my meal. Seems like you over reacted slightly op!

Polkadot1974 · 12/04/2017 22:05

YANBU in my humble. I took stuff for my children up to the age of 2 as they wouldn't ha e eaten much at all and a meal would have been wasted. They would share garlic bread etc and if you're eating them fine. I can't believe you're getting hammered but would have paid the drinks

roundtable · 12/04/2017 22:06

Grin Huldra- how disappointing. You'd have thought they'd mention it wouldn't you?

I wonder what their vegetarian dishes were like...?

ThreeFish · 12/04/2017 22:07

YABU.
Could you not have asked for a baby bowl? Common round here.
Small bowl of plain mashed potatoes, gravy, carrot sticks. Costs a few quid. Or at a push, something snacky like crackers and cheese.
There would be something on the menu you could have adapted to suit and asked for a half child's portion.

MsJamieFraser · 12/04/2017 22:09

Ds cannot eat most food (allergies) so if we want to eat out we call the restaurant and ask if they could cater for him, if not I ask if we can bring him food, most say yes, as they don't want cross contamination.

MsJamieFraser · 12/04/2017 22:09

Sorry I think yabu, you should have called prior to attending.

stolemyusername · 12/04/2017 22:11

I can't see the difference between ordering something off the menu to share with the baby and bringing something in with you, the restaurant still gets the same amount of money either way as you're still only ordering 2 adult meals?

I has 19mo, he can be quite fussy about his food and doesn't eat a huge amount (definitely not a child's portion) and I hate throwing food out. I usually bring a small sandwich along with me and he has some of what I'm eating and his sandwich. I'm not in the UK though and it's completely normal practice here. When he's older and eating more/better I'll start ordering kids meals for him.

maddiemookins16mum · 12/04/2017 22:12

Ok, there is a big diference between a sit down/waiter serviced restaurant than those tables you sit at (in a food court maybe), that's the point I'm making, but you know that I suspect. A restaurant is not the place to take your pots of food.

zen1 · 12/04/2017 22:14

I have been bringing food into cafés / restaurants for the past 7 years because I have a child with a disability that means he will eat nothing off the menu. Most of the time I let the waiting staff know when we order that we won't be ordering for him because he has to have his own food, but if I couldn't bring his stuff with me, we would never be able to go out and eat as a family (have 2 other DCs who never bring their own food). No one has ever said anything.

StrangeLookingParasite · 12/04/2017 22:14

If you brought your toddler up to eat proper food rather than 'children's food' there would be no problem. YABVU and very rude.

Oh fiddlesticks.
Nice composite set of swipes at the op, though. Several insults all in one.
I know who's rude here, and it isn't the OP.

bunnylove99 · 12/04/2017 22:16

OP. I don't think Yabu. It's difficult eating out with babies and toddlers and it's one less stress if you can take something along you know they will eat and will keep them happy. I've never done it myself but worked as a waitress when I was young and never minded people bringing in their own baby foods at all. I'm stunned at all the posters thinking yabu to be honest!

Asuitablemum · 12/04/2017 22:18

I think maybe you've got to the boundary of 'little baby, purees welcome, big baby we'll turn a blind eye and toddler-can eat restaurant food'. You need to move with the times. I think it's ok sometimes to ask the waitress is you can just subtly give your child a breadstick to keep them amusing while waiting for the food. But just pulling out a full on meal with your own cutlery would just look really cheeky and out of place in a proper restaurant.

witchywoohoo · 12/04/2017 22:19

SuburbanRhonda So far the OP has been called - a "pain in the arse", someone's "worst nightmare", been told " I can tell you are hard work" and "I am so embarrassed for you". Been questioned on her child's eating habits and told to feed them "proper food" and that's not to mention the gazillion instances of 'entitled' and it's many synonyms. BECAUSE SHE FED HER CHILD A POT OF PASTA IN A CAFE!!!! And most of these comments have been AFTER the OP has clearly put her hands up and said "Fair Enough! I have learned a lesson". So yeah - moronic and bitchy!

SuburbanRhonda · 12/04/2017 22:22

Those posts are "moronic, but hey and name-calling"?

You must be very thin-skinned. But I hope you've reported them.

SuburbanRhonda · 12/04/2017 22:22

bitchy

SecretNetter · 12/04/2017 22:24

I used to take food for mine up until about 2 for a few reasons. Firstly, I don't want to be limited as to what I can eat (no spice etc) to feed them from my own plate. Secondly, I refuse to buy the 'baby food' meals some places sell because mine never ate them. Thirdly, yes many restaurants will eventually accommodate a request for a toddler sized meal from the adult menu...but after faffing, speaking with the chef etc...it's a PITA. And I hate kids menus which often consist of chips and nuggets.

Anyway, we were approached a couple of times op with similar. I'd just say my dc had allergies and required a special diet so bringing our own food was necessary. The waiter/waitress would back away apologising and telling us of course it was fine to continue.

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 22:24

She didn't just feed her kid a pot of pasta. She left without paying for her drinks. That is not classy.

BusyBeez99 · 12/04/2017 22:25

My DS at that age was very fussy. I still didn't take food in. He generally had something like a plate of melon and some garlic bread which most places happy to do for us. Which we paid for.

I still ask now when we go somewhere and DS has tap water in a water bottle if it's okay to drink it and you don't get charged for tap water but I just feel uncomfortable

YABVU not ordering something or giving child something off your plate.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 22:26

Thanks witchywoohoo Grin I appreciate that! Although I fully admit now that I can see how it was U of me to assume and not ask. The things you've stated that have been said IMO are extremely U given that I just wanted to give my son a pot of pasta I knew he'd eat. I wasn't trying to be cheeky or disrespectful knowingly.

OP posts:
DesertSky · 12/04/2017 22:26

I'm obviously going against most people, but the adults had ordered food totalling £35 - there wasn't a child's menu available and the child baby in question is only 14 months old? What if the infant had a food intolerance or extremely fussy for instance? It was a cafe restaurant not a posh fine dining restaurant - I do feel that was a bit of an over-reaction from staff. Yes, if they had only ordered drinks perhaps and started feeding the baby, but they had ordered food and it's only a baby for goodness sake!

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 22:28

Oh floggingmolly you really are not impressed with me at all are you. I left without paying for my drinks as he'd just put them down, was rude to us, basically told us to leave and the stood there watching at our table, waiting for us to go. He watched us as we left and didn't mention the drinks. I was in shock that I didn't even think. Never in a million years would I be rude to anyone or not pay for something deliberately. Take into what's been said and stop making swipes that I've already addressed Hmm

OP posts:
witchywoohoo · 12/04/2017 22:31

Suburban Yeah that's right -I think that people giving this OP a kicking is unreasonable so I'm thin skinned...ok! Whereas you think it's all completely acceptable - you sound lovely!

QueenofPentacles · 12/04/2017 22:32

Blimey another entitled Mum thinking she can do as she likes in a restaurant. What you did is actually illegal because you walked out without paying.

witchywoohoo · 12/04/2017 22:35

FFS - she was told to leave. Why should she pay for drinks she is not being allowed to consume?

BillyButtfuck · 12/04/2017 22:35
Hmm
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