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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 21:13

maddie why would a small coaster sized Tupperware box that a mother was holding in one hand and using the other to feed it to DS, around 2 metres away on the next table offend you personally so much, if it's not about the restaurant workers? Confused

OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 12/04/2017 21:14

Any time I've been to a restaurant with DD I come armed with snacks. Waiting in a high chair without food is an issue. Everyone in the restaurant would know about the wait for food... so I bring crisps and fruit snacks. I do order something for her as well but have to fill that gap and have never been challenged

MsJudgemental · 12/04/2017 21:14

Pasta is proper food, so why couldn't she order pasta at the restaurant for her child to eat?

mummy2oneandtwo · 12/04/2017 21:22

Well I am in the limited yanbu camp!

I see nothing wrong with taking some food for your little one. Of course you wouldn't do it for an adult, but for a baby that won't eat anything else on the menu, where is the problem?!

Even now mine will pick at food from our plate or eat something we order for them, they still get their yoghurt afterwards and I've never experienced any issue from any restaurant I've been to. They also snack on rice cakes, fruit, wafers while waiting for the food to arrive....is that not allowed?

I don't blame you for being annoyed!

randomsabreuse · 12/04/2017 21:22

Because it wasn't ready "now". Patience is a virtue my 20mo has yet to discover...

floraeasy · 12/04/2017 21:25

YANBU

You were paying for a full meal so they were making the same amount of money out of your custom as they would with most other customers. The baby food is a red herring....well pasta Smile A few mouthfuls of pasta were neither here nor there IMO. You could have a fussy or sick baby and this is all it would eat. They could have been "nice to be nice" - something sadly lacking these days.

Theycalledmethewildrose · 12/04/2017 21:31

Unless my children were still eating puree food, I would not have done this and never without asking first.

DH or I would always have ordered something our children could eat. We still do this but nowadays just in case the children dislike what they have.

Did the restaurant have a children's menu? Most do and they are generally very good value.

I think to storm out was an over reaction and rude.

housesellingrant · 12/04/2017 21:32

I didn't see the difference between giving food off your plate and feeding something from home. Net result to restaurant is same. Only difference is that customer has to order child friendly meal....

Funnyfarmer · 12/04/2017 21:33

@MsJudgemental

If you brought your toddler up to eat proper food rather than 'children's food' there would be no problem. YABVU and very rude.

Why would you think she isn't bringing her child up to eat proper food?

Theycalledmethewildrose · 12/04/2017 21:37

He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks

That he had to be so persistent that 'in the end' you walked out tells me that you were very argumentative about it too and for this reason too you were unreasonable.

maddiemookins16mum · 12/04/2017 21:38

If your children/toddler is old enough to eat "out of a coaster sized" plate then order a side portion or get an extra side plate, stop being ridiculous and treating restaurants (yep, RESTAURANTS), as your local cafe/soft play/fast food joints/mother and toddler hang out etc as your lunch hang out.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 21:42

Okay wildrose I'm not reiterating a response to that as I have done several times now.

maddie it's a cafe type restaurant. It's never been an issue before, which I why I GENUINELY DIDNT REALISE IT WAS AN ISSUE hence my naivety and arguably my ignorance. I'll hold my hand up to that. I've also said I will also check beforehand if I wish to do that again in future. And soft okay? Fast food joints? Toddler hang out? What are you talking about?

OP posts:
theduchessstill · 12/04/2017 21:42

treating restaurants (yep, RESTAURANTS), as your local cafe/soft play/fast food joints/mother and toddler hang out etc as your lunch hang out.

What on earth is a restaurant if not a 'lunch hang out' as you term it? The OP had ordered £35 worth of items, ffs.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 21:42

*softplay

OP posts:
MauvaiseFemme · 12/04/2017 21:45

Haven't read the whole thread but in my opinion, yanbu.

Feeding a 14 month old some pasta while you wait for your food to arrive is hardly the same as feeding a 5 year old a picnic while you drink a coffee.

I eat out a lot and would never question your behaviour. And to all those people saying op should have shared her food with ds - how is that different to giving him some pasta from a Tupperware? The restaurant won't make any extra profit either way.

witchywoohoo · 12/04/2017 21:45

Ginge Please don't give it another thought. And please pay no heed to the bitchy name-calling on this thread from people who really should be ashamed of themselves. As should anyone who can't graciously accept that it is extremely uncool to not listen when someone asks you not to say a child IS special needs - yeah I'm talking to you MaddieMoo - not cool at all!

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 21:46

theduchess thanks! My point exactly. I've admitted I may have been U several times. Some posters clearly have nothing better to do than to spout venom and put others down clearly, whisky disregarding what they've actually said throughout the post.

Not sure what else I can say on this now really!

OP posts:
2017SoFarSoGood · 12/04/2017 21:53

Ginge85 I think that to date you have been lucky in that no other restaurant has objected, but in truth YABVVVVVVVVU by taking regular food (not actual 'baby' food) to feed a child old enough to eat normal food. That's the issue. Most restaurants are delighted to create a small plate of something that your DC can eat, and I suspect many can manage to rustle up a pot of pasta.

If I were you I might go back and pay for the drinks apologize.

roundtable · 12/04/2017 21:55

Grin Is now the right time to confess that I took my 4 year old a lunch of sandwiches, grapes and cucumbers yesterday as we selfishly went to a seafood restaurant and I know he wouldn't eat anything off of the menu. We did ask before we went in though if they minded as that is common courtesy imo.

Dh, dc and I all ordered from the menu and left a 20% tip.

I think you should have asked first op. It's the restaurant's choice. But I don't see anything outrageous about a 14 month old eating food from home. I doubt pasta would be on a Jamaican menu.

Yabu to argue with them when they say no. Just take your business elsewhere.

roundtable · 12/04/2017 21:56

Oh cross posts. Sorry op.

SuburbanRhonda · 12/04/2017 21:58

moronic, bitchy name-calling on this thread

Which posts are they witchy? You should report them, as personal insults are against talk guidelines.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 12/04/2017 21:59

Their policy is their policy, and that's not the staff's fault. Saying that though, if I was a waitress there today, I'd have just looked the other way and pretended I hadn't noticed.

Hugepeppapigfan · 12/04/2017 22:01

Hmmm I'm not sure on this one. I always take food with me but my toddler has allergies. I phone ahead to check if they can feed her safely and if they can't then I ask if I can bring her own food. I've never had anywhere day no and we eat out a lot. I wouldn't take anything other than snacks and without asking first though.... If they can feed her safely then I always order something even though she often ends up nibbling on her safe packed lunch instead anyway!

Huldra · 12/04/2017 22:03

roundtable I see nothing wrong with that. You asked and they said yes.

I wish I could ask at a seafood restaurant Grin I HATE seafood and fish but at one place in Northern Spain, I ordered chips and a vegetable sandwich. Oh my joy at seeing a vegetable sandwich! Of course it turned out to be a few vegetables with a huge dollop of tuna to season. No idea why they wouldn't mention tuna as the main ingredient Grin

GinAndTunic · 12/04/2017 22:04

YABU.

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