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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
PeterHouseMD · 12/04/2017 20:04

Some posters are flogging a dead horse at this stage!

theduchessstill · 12/04/2017 20:05

dunno - because she paid for it there and would be able to feel all holier than thou because it might be a dish she doesn't like much and has only bought on the off chance the baby eats a bit.

user1474462227 · 12/04/2017 20:10

I've taken in food for my son plenty of times as he would only eat finely mushed up food at 14months. But then I would give him finger food like chips or bread. I've never thought it was rude or against any restaurant rules as we as adults are ordering food and drinks for our selves.
My son only ate 2-3 tablespoons at 14 months

Caroian · 12/04/2017 20:11

Feeding your child FROM FOOD YOU PURCHASED is very different from food YOU'VE smuggled in as a cheapskate to avoid buying something (and probably expect the staff to wipe up the highchair/floor afterwards.

THIS is exactly the argument I don't understand! This argument on its own is non-sensical. You say they should eat some food off the adult's plate rather than eat food that's been brought - and I quote - "to avoid buying something". The same money has been spent!!! If you feed them off your plate, you've still "avoided buying something".

Sorry. I cant stand a lack of logic!

I'm stepping away now!

SaltySeaBird · 12/04/2017 20:18

theduchessstill Why do you do that? Who is hurt by you having your first choice of meal and your ds having something small from a tub?

Nobody is 'hurt' how ridiculous - I just have a dish that I still like but wouldn't necessarily be my first choice, or something that has a side my DS will eat. I just think it is incredibly rude and presumptuous to whip out a tub of home made pasta in a proper restaurant. What next, take a flask of coffee in to have after my meal because I prefer the brand I have at home?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/04/2017 20:22

Maybe the restaurant has had issues in the past, with customers coming in and ordering something cheap and then unpacking a full picnic for their children - I have seen plenty of accounts on MN of this happening.

Or maybe there is no logical reason for their policy - in the end, it is their restaurant, so they can do what they want. They have to weigh up the risks of any policy, especially in these days if social media, and Trip Advisor, but if they think it is worth the risk, they can have whatever policy they choose.

I think that Ginge has responded pretty reasonably on here - she's going to check in future, if she's somewhere new, where she doesn't know the policy on people bringing food for their children - and that is really all that is necessary.

maddiemookins16mum · 12/04/2017 20:23

NO, to explain, FOOD YOU'VE PURCHASED FROM THE RESTAURANT (anyway, I'm pissing myself off with my rude big letters). You don't take food to a restaurant for kids unless they are SN (I mention that to avoid the usual answers), or are too tiny to eat the food.

StrangeLookingParasite · 12/04/2017 20:27

Particularly if you were graceless enough to storm out without paying for your drinks.

I'm not sure how many times she has to explain that she didn't 'storm out' before you actually get it. You do seem to not want to let reality intrude on your chance to give a poster a kicking.

No, I don't think you were being unreasonable, and I don't think most people, other than some of the regulars on AIBU, would think so either.

StealthPolarBear · 12/04/2017 20:30

Thanks k you Caroian. Exactly my point (unless it's a buffet).

maddiemookins16mum · 12/04/2017 20:35

Why would food from the ops plate be better??? Do you really need to ask that question? It's about "manners" and showing respect to the restaurant owner/chefs.

fizzywaterlove · 12/04/2017 20:39

I always take food in for my DD (1 year old) and we out once a week at least. The kids menus usually are crap. I have never had an issue with it, in fact most places will still give her crayons etc even though we are not ordering for her.

Bad restaurant in my opinion. And other posters who think it is wrong to bring own food in for a baby/toddler must live in a completely different world to me!

BigGrannyPants · 12/04/2017 20:46

I would never consider bringing baby food in to a restaurant or cafe etc as being a problem. There is usually nothing on the menu suitable. YANBU to expect to be able to feed your baby food that you brought with you.

Oddbins · 12/04/2017 20:48

Some folk are shocked and fuming over the daftest things.

Give your head a wobble.

You do not take food into a restaurant or cafe.

KitKats28 · 12/04/2017 20:49

@maddiemookins16mum have you actually bothered to read the thread, where countless restaurant workers have said they couldn't care less?

And don't say kids who are SN, it's kids who have SN 🙄. Not that I know what that has to do with it anyway. Babies like familiar food, even NT ones!

cushioncovers · 12/04/2017 20:52

At 14 months my dc would have had an early lunch at home and then something off of my plate when we were in the restaurant. I might of taken a drink as some places only have sugary crap on offer and I probably would of taken a biscuit or a breadstick just in case. But I definitely wouldn't of taken a home made meal.

MsJudgemental · 12/04/2017 20:52

If you brought your toddler up to eat proper food rather than 'children's food' there would be no problem. YABVU and very rude.

Funnyfarmer · 12/04/2017 20:54

How is pasta not proper food?

AtlantaGinandTonic · 12/04/2017 20:56

My older daughter didn't like a wide variety of food, so for her I would have phoned in advance to ask if it was OK to bring our own food for her. My younger daughter eats anything that she can shove in her mouth and never liked 'baby' food, so we've always ordered off the menu for her. It makes us chuckle though, as 14 month old DD2 eats pretty much as much or more than DD1. I would always ask about outside food, to be safe.

StealthPolarBear · 12/04/2017 20:57

From a cost point of view surely they are the same?

Wetcappuccino · 12/04/2017 20:57

YANBU. I often take a little lunch bag with me for my toddler with food for her in to restaurants. Sometimes she will just have wee snacky things (cheese/ fruit/ raisins) and eat off my plate too. Sometimes I will bring her a little half sandwich from home. This is very common round my way and, in my opinion, perfectly fine as long as the adults are making a purchase.

gaaahhhh · 12/04/2017 21:00

Maybe it would have been polite to ask if your DS could eat his own food (I will be now after reading this thread!)

But I'm ex-waitress and DH is working in a restaurant and neither of us ever had a problem with pre-schoolers eating their own food. Especially 14 months old!

Not that you do the following OP but -

It used to bother me when customers would let their kids bring in happy meals - that's crossing the line. And also people who leave a mess and (shudder) push all their rubbish and used babywipes down thin glasses. EEWWWWWW

BlondeBecky1983 · 12/04/2017 21:02

I think you should have explained the situation about DC's fussiness to the staff before taking the table and left it to ref management's discretion rather than assuming it would be ok.

BlondeBecky1983 · 12/04/2017 21:02

The not ref lol

maddiemookins16mum · 12/04/2017 21:09

KitKats28 - it's not just about the restaurant workers. I don't want to sit next to someone whipping out her own tupperware full of food.
Are/Have....please......get over it.

BluePeppersAndBroccoli · 12/04/2017 21:12

I have to say at that age, I've always taken the food for the dcs and never had any issue at all....