To be fuming at this restaurant?

[Ginge85]

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there . He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

@Floggingmolly for someone who seems to know everything about everything, you might want to check your facts before you bitch at Computer.

YANBU. We normally give DS some of what we're having but I certainly would be shocked if there was an issue with giving him something else. And in the coffee shop sometimes I get him a croissant but sometimes he has a rice cake from home.

Jesus the amount of sanctimonious bs on this thread is hilarious.

Btw, why doesn't he eat other things? It's not because he can't?

floggingmolly judgemental much??? How would you know?

Very interesting to see that a lot of the folk who are saying the OP was not being unreasonable are people who have actually worked in /managed or owned cafes or restaurants.

The initial post said waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there and continued He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come

It was only later the OP decided that he was rude and threw them out.

YWBU and especially to be 'fuming'

That's my point. I'm not disagreeing with any policies, rules are rules etc. It's just not one I've encountered for a baby. The reason I've mentioned his size/that he's not walking etc is because some people are saying he's not a baby, but if he were it would be okay. Well he is a baby most definitely if that point stands. Because I've not encountered it I was shocked, and personally don't see the issue (as do other posters who are in the restaurant business). But each to their own and I respect the rules. The waitors attitude was appalling and he stood there waiting for us to leave, I didn't have a go at him- I was taken aback and said I didn't realise and that it hadn't been a problem anywhere else I'd been which is when his attitude started.

I will be asking in future and lessons have been learnt. I won't have a problem if it's politely explained that it's not allowed.

Quite @witchywoohoo, and we are still being ignored!

I'm with you on this OP. I will not buy my 13mo anything off a restaurant menu, there is no point. 80% of it is spat out or dropped on the floor! I always take food for my youngest DS and gave never been told this isn't allowed. So long as you're buying something for yourself I don't see the problem.

Honestly, there were no roolz about this (I've been out of the business for ten years mind).

We'd be a bit circumspect about heating baby food in case our industrial microwave left hotter-than-the-sun spots in it, and weren't entirely thrilled about bringing jugs of boiling water to the table, but we managed.

If we hadn't so much as touched the container the food was in, how on earth could we be liable for anything?

CoffeeAndCakeEssentials trust me, there will always be a problem if you let your kid chuck food all over the floor. You are the sort of customer that restaurants don't mind pissing off.

There's no way I would have bought a full meal for mine at that age. Definitely took food for them beyond the puree stage and it was never a problem. I'm amazed at the sanctimonious responses on here suggesting it should have been.

Thanks witchywoo and KitKat!!

floggingmolly I don't understand why you're talking as if you know me or my DS? Very judgemental.

Taking quotes I've said out of context and only including half of the things I've said is also irrelevant to what actually happened.

I've said I appreciate it if I as BU and I've learnt lessons from this.

If they had a high chair in which to accommodate him, and if he is old enough to sit in the high chair and eat, there would have been something on the menu he could have eaten (or you could have asked). If I don't want to pay extra for my own 12 month old DS I order something for myself he can share even if it wouldn't necessarily be my first choice.

If I don't want to pay extra for my own 12 month old DS I order something for myself he can share even if it wouldn't necessarily be my first choice. Why do you do that? Who is hurt by you having your first choice of meal and your ds having something small from a tub?

If a baby got ill after eating food provided by their carer rather than a restaurant, I imagine it would go a bit like this:

Food inspector: Did anyone else get ill?

Restaurant: No

Food inspector: Right you are then.

End of story.

Restaurants are well within their rights to refuse to allow people to bring their own food - even for babies - but it's fuck all to do with H&S.

No, of course I don't know you, op. If you say pasta is all your child can eat, then obviously that is so.

personally don't see the issue (as do other posters who are in the restaurant business)

< raises hand >

I've worked in plenty of cafes, Ginge, and I don't think any of them would have allowed food brought from outside, unless there was an allergy question and the customer had asked permission.

And all you people saying you wouldn't have bought a kid's meal for a 14-month-old, or moaning about salt content, or chicken nuggets, or whatever - I wouldn't have bought a kid's meal for a 14-month-old either. I'd have given them a bit of bread, maybe some of the veg, maybe a breadstick if it was that kind of place. In a jerk chicken/soulfood place there would have been flatbreads and rice, at least, as well as a bit of cooked chicken from the inside, away from the spiced skin.

floggingmolly yes, I've read the thread and no, I still don't understand. The "slippery slope" argument has been discussed by someone who works in the industry and, as she said, each case ought to be judged on its merits. Discrete feeding of a pot of food is different to unpacking a picnic. A 14 month old is clearly not the same as a preschooler. I know line has to be drawn somewhere, but I guess I'd personally put that line at age 2 at the least. Ditto the "neon plastic" and "detritus". Restaurants can ask anyone who isn't behaving nicely to leave, and spreading your crap around is clearly unacceptable. And I don't buy the H&S argument either - as other posters have already covered, restaurants bear no responsibility for anyone choking unless they choke on something which they should not have put in the food. If H&S laws were so tight, where would BYO restaurants stand?

I stand by my original feeling: I don't see why feeding a child from your own plate is really any different to discretely feeding them a pot of food you brought from home.

This is MN at its finest sanctimonious, holier-than-thou, judginess!

In the situation the OP described, it's probably acceptable to give a young child a breadstick or box of raisins (i.e. a small snack), but quite clearly feeding a child a box of pasta is taking the piss. That said, it's unfortunately not uncommon to see people do it.

I have never been to a restaurant that won't serve something suitable for a toddler, whether they have a kids menu or not. If in doubt, call ahead and ask. It shouldn't mean having to compromise your own choice either!

YABU - you should have asked for permission at least!

I was in a cafe the other week with my ds and his friend (both 4) and the friend's mum had given me a packed lunch for him as I'd forgot to say going to cafe so I asked if it would be ok for him to eat that while me and ds ordered from their menu with the reason and they were fine. If they had said no I would've bought him food too. I still felt cheeky but don't ask don't get!

I'd understand with a tiny baby, but fgs the child is practically a toddler. You walked out after ordering food and buying drinks. Shame on you. It's not all about you. The usual entitled young women of today.

Feeding your child FROM FOOD YOU PURCHASED is very different from food YOU'VE smuggled in as a cheapskate to avoid buying something (and probably expect the staff to wipe up the highchair/floor afterwards.

I've worked in 2 food places that both had no food from elsewhere and it was only due to vat purposes, nothing to do with health and safety.
The only health safety in regards to baby/kids food was that neither place would heat baby food up incase of heatspots.
Nowhere i know by me will heat up baby food now.
Can't say i blame them.
It's hot water or nothing.

Some of the assumptions being made on this thread. I would never expect the staff to clean up after my child, whether the food had been bought there or not. I'm usually crawling about on my hands and knees picking it up, along with making things as easy for a waitress/waiter to clear. People are saying I'm a restaurants worst nightmare etc and that's fine if that's what they believe and I get how from this one post it may seem like that. I'm entitled blah blah. No. From 'my' experience of eating out it has never been an issue as my child is a baby, it's never been an issue in any cafe or restaurant I've worked in if the person in question is a baby. Hence my shock. I didn't give the waitor shit, I didn't kick off. Yes I (regrettably) didn't pay for the drinks but he'd literally just put them down, and then as good as told us to leave. We were in shock and left.
That being said I now know that is obviously is an issue on certain places, and clearly given some of the outrage on this post it's a much bigger issue than I first thought. Lesson learnt and I accept I was BU to expect it not to be an issue or to ask. I will definitely be making sure anywhere we eat is okay for DS to eat something I've brought, if there is nothing on the menu that I know he will eat.

Thanks for all the sensible responses.

Why would food from the ops plate be better?