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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 13/04/2017 22:54

Yummy dishes for your tummy.......ds would disagree.

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 22:55

Yummy for your tummy? I hope the kids fishfingers and chipscrispy potatoes were not served in a bucket and spade.

Reebs123 · 13/04/2017 22:55

Some screen time is ok but my DNs come with their tablets to my daughters birthday parties! I'm sorry but Wtf-theyve come to play & eat and if there's a tiny bit of spare time what's wrong with conversation or something?

GreenGinger2 · 13/04/2017 22:57

We had one who turned up to dd's birthday party with a phone she sat on the entire time. So utterly rude. She was never invited back.

TheRealPooTroll · 13/04/2017 23:02

Yes I've had kids come to parties with phones and tablets too. And see kids daily going a few stops on the train - tablet, waiting a few minutes at the dentist - tablet. People don't seem to realise that the reason a lot of kids have difficulty just sitting and talking is because they are so used to being constantly entertained by tablets and phones.

Spikeyball · 13/04/2017 23:05

Mine has problems sitting and can't talk at all and he never uses tablets or phones.

GreenGinger2 · 13/04/2017 23:05

My 12 year old wanted to take her phone to guides as all the others do apparently.Shock Err no I don't pay subs money for you to sit on your phone. It's insane.

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 23:07

Does posting on MN count as talking?

TheRealPooTroll · 13/04/2017 23:08

Well obviously children can struggle to sit due to age/disability. But the epidemic of older kids with no disability who are unable to wait for a few minutes without a screen in front of them is because they are used to having flashing screens in front of them every time they are still for a few minutes.

PortiaCastis · 13/04/2017 23:10

Still we're all using screens aren't we

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 23:10

I'm always on my phone and we never even had them in the olden days.

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 23:12

Yes we are Portia which is why this thread is bollocks. Everyone on it is staring at a bloody screen.

PortiaCastis · 13/04/2017 23:12

Grin very true

treaclesoda · 13/04/2017 23:13

These are quite extreme examples though.

Personally I've never known a child to bring a phone or tablet to a party, or to an event or whatever. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, clearly some of you have seen it happen. I just think it's a bit of a leap to think that ten minutes on a phone in a restaurant equals 'can't speak, and brings a phone to birthday parties'

TheRealPooTroll · 13/04/2017 23:21

It wasn't 10 minutes though it was the whole time - including when they were eating.

Yes we are all on screens here. But I would hope we are all out of childhood when crucial brain development is still occurring. I enjoy my laptop, mobile etc but I am also able to function when I have to wait without them.

avamiah · 13/04/2017 23:30

My daughter is 7 and I let her watch her itouch only at home and it usually just cartoons.I never allow her to take it out and definitely not to a restaurant .The only time it comes out is when we go to Bournemouth on the train and the journey is 2 hours.
I just think everything in moderation .

AlexRose5 · 13/04/2017 23:42

Accidentalbride it's all possible ...
But what does it matter either way? Let's face it... These parents have been hung and drawn by their "friend" on MN and that's been backed up by likeminded judgmental types that have no idea just what kind of parenting is done outside this one meal . They could put the rest of us to Shame for all we know .

TheOldLandmark · 14/04/2017 02:39

It has simply never occurred to me to take any electronic device owned by DC outside of our home, yet this thread (600 posts and counting) is split down the middle as far as I can see between U and non U.

Classic Hyperbole abounds. Sorry to specifically pick your comment out of many hmcAsWas

Quiet and occupied and completely ignored by their parents...And? What is wrong with that? A healthy bit of ignoring is vital for parental well being and sanity A DC on a tablet/phone wouldn't actually be aware that they were being ignored, so the 'healthy part' (agree wholeheartedly on this) is not quite the socialisation lesson it might have been.

Admit to being totally prejudiced - shit (PAYG Shock - I can hear your screams from here) mobile phone. The DC could no more watch PP, or any other parental time-out soma, on it than I could sprout wings and fly (the laptops however are the dog's bollocks so we are only semi-luddites).

Taking the Op's core message, avoiding the Ooh Jamie Oliver/pretty boat loud parenting jabs, and bar SN related sensory support, I agree that it's pretty piss poor to resort to whipping out your i-phone 7 to negate a lull or delay that may lead to a whine or moan (you commentators all actually have children?) and inconvenience their parent/s eating, drinking, adult chat, admiring the view.

I have seen the blank gaze, and it scares me.

KoalaDownUnder · 14/04/2017 04:48

Oh, who cares 'what kind of parenting is done outside this one meal'?

The OP didn't say they were crap parents. She said it's weird to go out to lunch with another family with similar-aged children, and immediately set your kids up with iPads for the entire meal.

How anyone can disagree with that is beyond me.

user1492026948 · 14/04/2017 06:19

We all use bribery from time to time but what happened to the social experience of a meal together? It is not the same as producing a book or colouring as they tend to still be interactional activities, whereas a small screen is a very individual and powerful tool to keep a child quiet. Children need to learn to chat and be patient and be appropriate in a restaurant although I would be more inclined to do this in a Pizza Hut with my children!

GreenGinger2 · 14/04/2017 07:07

I'd never MN or look at my phone in a restaurant or any other social function. It's just plain old bad manners. Mning for the odd hour in my own personal down time in a non social context in the comfort of my home has no comparison.

My teens are very tech savvy. They get their daily hour or so on screens. Never in a restaurant or in a social context though. Why bother going at all?

CactusFred · 14/04/2017 07:12

I don't hand the phone over until last resort, normally at the end of the meal when ds is starting to get restless and disrupting others. Volume v low. Needs must. But not until absolutely final moment!

Itaintme · 14/04/2017 07:36

Your teens get an hour a day on their phone's?

Yeah right.

Tls106 · 14/04/2017 08:04

I would as a last resort after I had exhausted all of the other option i.e. Crayons, distraction etc. But not on a phone as it messes up eyes so Id also have to have been organised enough to remember a pad.

But I also think it comes down to how often you eat out. If you do it a lot they know the drill and are slightly better I think. Although depending on the child the novelty factor of eating out rarely could also work.

rushmess · 14/04/2017 08:40

Parents who give phones to their kids during meals out will call you judgemental and parents like you who believe that verbal interaction with kids is imp would agree with youGrin.