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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
MsGameandWatch · 13/04/2017 21:45

Spikey I know quite a few mum's of kids with spectrum conditions and once you get chatting it comes out that we nearly ALL do it. It's liberating in a way and you can just concentrate on your child but it does become habitual and I have to force myself to make eye contact even ordering a hot drink/food or in shops. It's quite nice to be tucked into your own little world not having to absorb other people's judgment but I don't think it's particularly healthy.

Flowers for all of us dealing with this kind of judgment x

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 21:46

The OP's children were probably discussing climate change, world hunger and the existentialism of Philip Roth so perhaps other kids felt a bit out of depth with their Peppa Pig material...

GreenGinger2 · 13/04/2017 21:47

The op is talking about people she knows well 'friends' so she knows full well there are no Sen or disability. She was discussing the people she knew and their choices.

It is lazy and I think people in this situation are selfish to do it. How often do kids get time with their parents these days? Any kid loves conversation and attention from their parents. They need to learn how to engage and control themselves when out for a meal. Meal times are a key time for children to pick up language. Teaching kids that you just zone out on a screen in a restaurant is wrong. I see the results the childminding via screen has so yes in this situation with kids I knew to be perfectly capable of not being plugged into screens on a stunning beach I too would gave judged.

MsGameandWatch · 13/04/2017 21:47

carpetbagger I'm on my own with my kids too 24/7. Agree very much with your post of 21.33.

MsGameandWatch · 13/04/2017 21:48

The op is talking about people she knows well 'friends' so she knows full well there are no Sen or disability. She was discussing the people she knew and their choices

But all the others who judge this when they see it aren't.

PortiaCastis · 13/04/2017 21:48

Speculation abounds on this thread

hazeyjane · 13/04/2017 21:50

Msgame, accidental,spikey -I have taken to catching people's eye and giving them a big smile, I might start raising my glass to them too. If people want to stare and judge they should have that acknowledged.

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 21:50

I'd just concentrate on my own kids and think the judgers should get over themselves.

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 21:52

They weren't on the beach they were in a boring poncey restaurant.

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 21:53

"The op is talking about people she knows well 'friends' so she knows full well there are no Sen or disability. She was discussing the people she knew and their choices"

OP just said "we went for dinner with friends". She doesn't say close friends, good friends, or - kids definitely have no special needs. At no point. In English - pretty much anyone we know is called friends. "We met friends for lunch" (people we used to work with years ago and now see once a year etc). Noone really knows what is happening in other people's lives. And if you think you know... Life hasn't hit you hard enough yet

GreenGinger2 · 13/04/2017 21:55

15 is hardly pouncey.

'Boring' that is just tragic. Seriously kids aren't expected to get a buzz out of eating out these days or God forbid hold a conversation,amuse themselves,control themselves. They have to be plugged in just to get through eating out in a living pretty kid friendly restaurant.

Kalizahara · 13/04/2017 21:55

Popfan well I've no doubt that there are all sorts of consequences from the modern world. Using our cars for every journey is another might be contributing to obesity.

If it's true what you say then maybe that is because of lots of screen use, or maybe it's because of something else?

Otoh people in years gone by managed without all sorts of modern conveniences, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't use what we have now to make our lives easier.

You can't make assumptions about people based on having once seen them put peppa pig on at a restaurant and then assume that they are lazy selfish neglectful parents who never speak to their kids.

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 21:58

Kids don't want to sit for hours eating poncey good at St Jamie's. They are not mini adults. They want to do kid things. Im sure they had a good run about on the beach after they had sampled Jamies finest.

cheminotte · 13/04/2017 21:59

Not read the thread but I agree with you. Sad that the kids didn't get a chance to interact with their parents or your kids who were a similar age.

GreenGinger2 · 13/04/2017 22:01

Oh come on my dd has a hidden Sen,her cousin has AS. Anybody who eats out with either is made aware. You are assuming a lot to say both kids had an SEN that the parents had never previously mentioned and which caused both parents to ignore their DC the entire meal.

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 22:01

You think kids get a buzz because they are eating at fifteen? Nah,thats the adults who like to drop that into threads on MN.

tiredandgrumpy101 · 13/04/2017 22:04

I really disagree with screen time in an environment like this, 3 kids, first born is 14 so we had to entertain/bring books or colouring or god forbid he had to behave and interact with us! It's a shame how will kids learn to interact if we don't teach them? I'll add had to tell my husband off tonight for looking at his phone at dinner, the kids wouldn't dream of bringing anything digital to the table! Far from perfect the kids would be on Xbox , kindle, iPad or phone all day if I let them but try really hard not to x

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 22:06

Itaintme - remember it had a magnificent view of the sea and beach. My boys would kill each other for a window seat! Grin

flowergrrl77 · 13/04/2017 22:11

When out and about I use technology completely! I do have my children turn off devices whilst actually eating.

But for the rest? Well, 2 of my 3 children have special needs that include autism. Judge-y ppl often forget that there may be a reason a parent uses tools differently to another....

why not use modern tools to aid? Who did it hurt?

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 22:11

GreenGinger - she is judging on one meal out. For all we know they may interact with them beautifully for 10 remaining hours of the day. They may be stay at home parents. We don't know. I'm a SAHM and every minute of my day is dedicated to my kids. However, sometimes, when I'm out with friends and want to talk, I will give them my phone.

Popfan · 13/04/2017 22:12

Kalizahara - I'm not assuming lazy parenting, just pointing out the detrimental effects that screens can have on children's development. There's definitely a place for them, my son loves his but I don't believe they should be used as a substitute for adult interaction. When used in a restaurant for a such a sustained period of time this is essentially what is happening. It might have been a one off in this case but in general I really feel strongly that too much reliance is placed on screens in this way.

GreenGinger2 · 13/04/2017 22:14

My kids would get a Buzz eating at15 particularly with that view, they get a buzz eating anywhere as they don't get to do it that often.

In the past they've eaten in stuffy French restaurants with grandparents and loved every minute.

I have never taken screens for us or our DC even when I had 3 under 18 months. You go for a walk,talk,take a few things you can do together or frogmarch if needs be.

Prezel1979 · 13/04/2017 22:14

Like many I agree with crispbutty. Restaurant not the same as meal at home - much slower, have to be quieter, etc. Fine if sound off, and put away while they are actually eating. You are also asking something of the children to sit still and quietly for that length of time. Bit weird they didn't get the poor kids headphones though, if they were going to offer Peppa Pig.

WomanStanley · 13/04/2017 22:15

I think you win on parenting.

She wanted to have total silence for a nice meal and a great view and her kids will probably end up total reprobates.

You've won at life and it all really matters.

GreenGinger2 · 13/04/2017 22:16

With friends you know well enough to eat out together en famille you would know if both their children had an Sen that needed Pepper Pig on a loop and zero conversation from the parents.

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