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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
Kalizahara · 13/04/2017 20:55

Who really has time to care about this stuff?

Peppa pig is awesome. Sometimes it's just easier to keep kids occupied while you have a peaceful drink and something to eat made by someone else.

Not everything has to be a life lesson. You don't win any parenting points because you managed to sit through meals with your darling children without gadgets.

TheRealPooTroll · 13/04/2017 20:55

I don't consider not saying a word to your children for the duration of a 3hr meal 'healthy ignoring' - whatever that may be.

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 21:00

I'm sorry OP but you come across as really judgemental. And, obviously, you think you are a much better parent... Are they very close friends? How well do you really know them and their children? How often do you see them? You don't know what day / life they've had and what kind of evening they needed. All children are different, all days are different. On another day, you may be a screaming, emotional, "lazy" mum while they might be super attentive, interactive and calm. Don't judge on one night only. It says more about you than it says about them actually.

And RealPooTroll... I have absolutely no words for people like you... I meet this kind of ignorance so often and it's so incredibly sad. My child has ADHD but noone apart from his teachers and my very closest friends know. Other parents would be shocked. Just because it's so different from how people expect it would look. It's so not what they would expect. But it's very - having a massive impact on our life every single day. Changing our life and his life every day. Some SN are invisible and some are not understood by masses. But they are there

Kalizahara · 13/04/2017 21:04

Who cares? What does it matter?

We've got two kids. Eldest has always behaved nicely during meals out. Youngest is 22 months and is a nuisance at times, moans, won't eat, tries to climb out of the highchair, so sometimes we stick peppa pig on so that we can eat our food.

Of course we tell him but I don't want the whole meal to be a stress.

I don't really care what anyone thinks because it just doesn't matter, no one is going to be watching peppa pig at the restaurant when they're 30.

I just don't know why anyone cares what other people do, does it make them feel better about themselves to look down at people?

hmcAsWas · 13/04/2017 21:04

Did the OP actually say not a single word was said to the dc for 3 hours (if so that's bound to be bullshit) or are you inferring that for dramatic impact?

Basically it would be impossible to not speak a single word to dc of that age for 3 hours - at a minimum there would be discussion about what they want to eat and drink from the menu, requests to use the toilet (the dc not the parents) etc etc

PortiaCastis · 13/04/2017 21:08

15 is open 12 until 2.30 at lunchtimes

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 21:09

I think OP needs to be reassured that she is an amazing mum and raising her children better

AlexRose5 · 13/04/2017 21:15

Hmm no "eye roll" emoji on this... I'd probably eyeroll myself into another thread ...
The stealth brag is noted OP...
Oh your chilren sat soooo still , how wonderful!
It's amusing that people absolutely jump on parents for having noisy messy kids ruining the ambiance of a restaurant ... So parents try to give them a distraction in the form of GOD FORBID a tablet/smartphone ....
Seriously . Let me know when these dreadful parents you mention do something that warrants a so-callled friend belittling them on MN ...
For all any of us know they are probably do their bloody best with their kids , and this is the ONLY indiscretion ... allowing the kids to look at a screen to amuse them through a meal .
Here's a suggestion to those who would sit there judging . Don't look if it offends you.
With friends like you who needs enemies OP .

AlexRose5 · 13/04/2017 21:18

Kalizahara I couldn't agree more! Flowers

DeleteOrDecay · 13/04/2017 21:18

I don't really care what anyone thinks because it just doesn't matter, no one is going to be watching peppa pig at the restaurant when they're 30.

Speak for yourselfGrin

In all seriousness the rest of your post is spot on.

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 21:20

AlexRose - or perhaps their kids are just more intelligent than OP's kids? Intelligent kids are notoriously more difficult to entertain and control.

DeleteOrDecay · 13/04/2017 21:20

And I really doubt the parents in the op didn't speak to their kids for 3 hours, I believe it's an over reaction for dramatic effect.. How would the parents know what the dc wanted to eat or drink otherwise?

Popfan · 13/04/2017 21:22

Trouble is, it does matter what other people do - I work in education and as I think another poster said, I have also seen a real change in children's behaviour and their language skills over the last 15 years or so. Many children are unable to concentrate for sustained periods of time and research has shown that constant stimulation from screens is a factor. Talking to children about the world and having conversations develops language skills, in speaking, listening and attention. Sticking them in front of a screen doesn't give that crucial interaction. It's also lovely to speak to your children!

PortiaCastis · 13/04/2017 21:24

Nobody knows what really happened, the OP is just a snapshot

MsGameandWatch · 13/04/2017 21:25

I am really surprised at how strongly feelings are about this and the amount of people who would judge to be honest. I won't change what I do, can't as kids have autism but I have to say I rarely make eye contact with anyone these days when I am out with my kids. This is a coping strategy I have developed to reduce stress when my children are having a hard time. If I don't look at people I can't see the judgment and hostility so it's not happening iyswim? Knowing that we are being judged by most for the iPad thing will just ensure I make even less eye contact and so connect even less with those around me. A small side effect of your smug judgment you may wish to consider next time you see a family with children on devices.

CarpetBagger · 13/04/2017 21:26

Alex couldn't agree more - yes of course Portia its a snap shot, but one that has been turned into a life of poor parenting from our dear op. Hmm

second2musketeer · 13/04/2017 21:27

Completely agree with everything you have said. How do children learn to 'endure' sitting and having a meal out if they're given screens to zone out in front of?

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 21:28

I don't think anyone here argues about this point Popfan... I think most people will agree. You are missing the point though. The OP didn't say - "every time we meet them, their kids are in front of screen, noone talks to each other". She is talking about one single episode, one dinner, when perhaps the other parents wanted to talk to them and have a grown up evening for a change? This doesn't mean that they are bad parents planting their kids in front of screens every chance they have. I think what many struggle with here is the blind judgement based on one evening.

CarpetBagger · 13/04/2017 21:29

msgame please don't feel every parent out there who may glance at you is as petty , small minded and nasty as our op.

I glance at parents when out and about usually in sympathy and commiseration. I would never ever look over and be thinking bad things if you know what I mean.

accidentalbride · 13/04/2017 21:32

msGameandWatch - from one invisible disabilities mum to another... Flowers

CarpetBagger · 13/04/2017 21:33

She is talking about one single episode, one dinner, when perhaps the other parents wanted to talk to them and have a grown up evening for a change?

Yes of course.

I think this thread has touched a nerve with me, I am with mine 24/7 with no back up, I rarely get to see good friends or get out and when I do I like to talk to them and not be micro managing my younger dc every single move like I do every single day.

I suppose now - one has to qualify meeting friends who lets face it - any of us could have - secretly bitching about us on here with

" I spend every min of every day with my dc, I never get out like this - I am very lonely and crave some adult conversation, so on this occasion, and this occasion only which is a rare treat for me, I am going to buy some peace and quiet by giving my dc a tablet to play on. But I can assure you I am interacting, talking to them, and being with them in every single way for every other minuet of my waking day, because I love and and am devoted to my DC but for this afternoon, I would like talk to you. "Angry

Spikeyball · 13/04/2017 21:33

MsGame I don't make eye contact either. I blank out everyone else a lot of the time. I feel like ds and I are in our own little world.

CarpetBagger · 13/04/2017 21:34

MN at its finest op, making people like MsGames feel shit. Angry

apringle · 13/04/2017 21:35

Sad that they didn't get to enjoy the time with the other children

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 21:38

Maybe they don't like the OPs children.