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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
MsGameandWatch · 13/04/2017 17:00

anon I am literally agog at the amount of terrible, lazy parents you seem to come across in your life. You sound livid about it. I actually cannot remember the last time I saw a horribly behaved child with their crap parent. I did see a crying child who didn't want to eat her chicken burger told to "just eat it you dickhead!" a few years ago though...

PortiaCastis · 13/04/2017 17:06

I never notice what other folks dc are doing but I did notice the pigs ears on the 15 menu. Yuck

EB123 · 13/04/2017 17:12

I don't like screens at meal times at home or eating out, I find it really rude and anti social when for me mealtimes are a time to enjoy spending a bit of time together. My children aren't angels but they know not to run around and we sit and chat. I can't really compare it to colouring or the activity books some places give out to children because we still chat while they do them and they don't make kids eyes glaze over in the same way,

Screens are useful tools at times for example my 4 year old was recently in hospital and unable to leave his bed so a programme on YouTube kept him amused for a bit once all the wards books and toys had been exhausted.

lottachocca · 13/04/2017 17:12

We couldn't believe what bad parenting we were experiencing.
I like how Anon experiences the bad parenting too - maybe that's why she/he sounds permanently angry. Grin

treaclesoda · 13/04/2017 17:21

Poor anon there is absolutely no type of parenting in a public place that meets her standards. Sad Life must be stressful when other people's very existence is so annoying Wink

NeverNic · 13/04/2017 17:23

We eat out a fair bit as a family. We play a table board game like a travel connect 4, take colouring or sticker books and mini cars or Happyland people. The iPad comes out at the end of the meal, normally when the other things are no longer interesting and the other diners have left or finishing up, as we like to eat out late lunch. My youngest needs it but my eldest has never been that interested in screen time and has always had a longer threshold for being able to sit still. I find other diners are more tolerant to noise when it's chatter and play sounds vs. Cartoon music. I think here it's odd they didn't interact at all AND they didn't encourage the children to interact with you. Dining out is social. I don't see the point in paying for a real meal out if it's not something enjoyable for everyone to do.

lottachocca · 13/04/2017 17:35

We play games - eye spy and alphabet games (are we guilty of loud parenting, fuck knows!) often card games - whist is good, snap is a bit loud and potential for spillage...Travel Articulate and Sussed cards are good too. Sometimes I want to just sit and chat but the DCs love to play bloody games!

phoenixrose314 · 13/04/2017 17:35

I think OP has touched a nerve because a lot of parents are guilty of this. I've only done it once - and that was at a VERY posh restaurant got my dads retirement and we were waiting 30 minutes between courses and I was aware he was disturbing other diners.

However, every other time we've eaten out (and we've done it a fair bit! He's 4 btw), he's been good as gold, occasionally grouchy and irritable but not bad. I do this because I see the damage the technological age has done to young children - I'm a nursery teacher and communication and social skills are my biggest problem. Children these days are not taught that to communicate you need eye contact, even - it's thoroughly depressing.

So I'm with you, OP, in favour of banning the screens. If you don't want the children to bother you, get a babysitter.

Craigie · 13/04/2017 17:38

YANBU in the slightest. Our kids are 9 & 11, have taken them to restaurants since they were born, and we've never used screens as entertainment, even though both of mine are gaming/phone mad. It's just socially unacceptable IMO. We used to take paper & pencils when they were really little to fill in time before food arrived, but it's part of learning to function in the real world to be able to sit down in a restaurant, chat & eat without behaving badly.

CatchIt · 13/04/2017 17:43

YANBU.

I met up with a friend when dd was 2ish. We got out colouring pens and drew pictures whilst we waited.

Across from our table sat a couple with their dd about the same age watching Ben & Holly. They didn't say a word to her the whole time we were there. Nothing.

How anyone can think that ignoring your child at the table is acceptable, I do not know. It is a very sad and sorry state of affairs.

Our parents managed to take children to restaurants without using Peppa Pig, or go to the supermarket without bitching about someone without a child in the P & C spaces. Honestly, what makes our generation so incompetent when it comes to raising children??!!

rookiemere · 13/04/2017 17:44

So sorry about your news grannytomine.

There was a thread about this a few weeks ago where a poster was surprised that the folks in a doctors waiting room were unimpressed by her (apparently) loud parenting of a boisterous child.

There are some locations where your first and foremost obligation is to keep the darn place quiet including DCs and that's what should be done, there will be plenty of parenting opportunities later in the day.

Sort of apropos, whilst I'm fairly laissez faire about DCs having screens once the meals over, I absolutely abhor seeing adults out for a meal tap tapping and scrolling on their FB feed and making no conversation.

I don't necessarily think one leads to the other provided there are boundaries. So we have no screens at mealtimes at home - anyone caught breaking the rule has to read out their last text ( learnt from our teenage nephew). DS also knows that he's not allowed to play on a device until we have finished the meal and also not if there are other people.
Unfortunately these days at 11 he's a bit too old for diversions, but we did have the summer of UNO a few years ago ( suspect the other restaurant diners may have preferred the silent snout of Peppa and pals tbh).

treaclesoda · 13/04/2017 17:47

These threads baffle me. The only way to know what the people at the next table in a restaurant are doing for the entire duration of their meal is to watch them closely for the entire duration of their meal. Which by definition would mean that you're not interacting with whoever is at your own table. Surely you can see the irony in that?

NotInMyBackYard1 · 13/04/2017 17:53

treacle Grin agreed! Mind your own business OP!!

hazeyjane · 13/04/2017 17:56

Anon050 you're a peach aren't you!

cordeliavorkosigan · 13/04/2017 18:00

We let ours have them after the meal when everyone's tired and ready to go, of there's a long coffee phase, or if the bill's taking forever, and rarely before the meal unless it's really taking a long time. We'd usually let them draw or whatever before the meal, after chatting for a bit.
I think you're getting a harsh treatment on this thread. Most adults can't stay off their phones for the duration of a lunch (which I think is rude unless the other person's left the table for the loo or whatever).
Screens are like a magical ability to now bring young dc out instead of paying a babysitter, and back in the day, kids stayed home and watched whatever was on TV, including advertising, a lot. Drawing apps on screens or coding for kids apps or whatever are better than that. The dc hopefully get some benefit from the meal and chatting, and enjoy a bit of game time at the end or when appropriate. I don't see the problem. People probably judge us for doing it... meh. Not a battle I'm going to pick.
But I agree with you -- not so good to have them on literally for the whole meal, no interaction, just zoned out.

Skywest · 13/04/2017 18:06

We bring a tablet to restaurants for our four year old as it is literally the only way to stop him running around. But it goes away when the meal is there. Judge away. I parent my own way

Lovelymess · 13/04/2017 18:13

Personally mine LOs are young but have been taught to sit as nicely and fairly quietly as possible in a restaurant without needing a screen for supervision but try not to judge. Those children may not sit so well and maybe the Mum just wanted a bit of peace and a catch up with friends Smile

Amyaa · 13/04/2017 18:15

I use it as a last resort to keep my dd calm if she gets really restless. Otherwise I sit there and talk. I agree that having the phones for the entire meal is excessive though.

grannytomine · 13/04/2017 18:20

Thanks for good wishes, was reeling a bit earlier. Back to screens, my GS isn't the most academic child but he beats the pants off the rest of his class with times tables. He has an app on his ipad and it is his favourite game, you can learn a particular table, test yourself so its timed or do a mixed up anything from 1 x 2 up to 12 x 12. We encourage him to use it as it has given him such confidence in his maths.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/04/2017 18:31

Why ever not oblomov? If everyone round the table is happy on their phones, why can't they?

arethereanyleftatall · 13/04/2017 18:32

Lol, my phone didn't update, I'm about 3 pages too late. I'm sure thread has moved on so ignore.

SherbrookeFosterer · 13/04/2017 18:34

You are definitely in the right.

It is a great shame that for so many children their only concept of cutlery is a "spork" in one hand and a mobile device in the other!

Stopyourhavering · 13/04/2017 18:34

My youngest ds is nearly 18, so when my 3 dcs were young there were no iPads or phones for that matter....we took them out for meals from an early age, without the need for any coercion
They loved coming out with us and eating different things ....been to several top notch restaurants in their time where they have been welcomed ( The River Cafe was brilliant with them)....
I despair of some children nowadays who are glued to these screens and don't know how to communicate with each other, let alone adults

Spikeyball · 13/04/2017 18:44

I think Anon wins the most miserable prize.

user1475439961 · 13/04/2017 18:44

You don't know what kind of day they have had. In an ideal world every parent would engage in conversation with their children at meal times but it really has nothing to do with you.