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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate my neighbours so much that I light the bbq even though not having a bbq!!

73 replies

plastique · 09/04/2017 15:04

What do other neighbour haters do to really piss off their unreasonable ndn??

OP posts:
Cosmicglitterpug · 09/04/2017 15:06

You sound nice.

DioneTheDiabolist · 09/04/2017 15:06

YABU OP.

plastique · 09/04/2017 15:08

I am nice, but they're horrible!

OP posts:
HopefulHamster · 09/04/2017 15:08

But your actions are horrible?

ilovesooty · 09/04/2017 15:09

You're nice but they're horrible? OK then...

plastique · 09/04/2017 15:10

These peopleare awful! My actions are only to get at them in a non confrontational manner!

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 09/04/2017 15:10

I have had some horrible neighbours in the past but never tried to piss them off. It is not a good tactic - you put yourself in the wrong and things tend to escalate.

Maudlinmaud · 09/04/2017 15:10

Hmm turn the other cheek op.

Scholes34 · 09/04/2017 15:10

You hate them, but they're still worthy of your time, attention, charcoal?

plastique · 09/04/2017 15:11

I really want to heard rom fellow ndn haters, unless you're in that situation you really really don't understand the situation!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 09/04/2017 15:12

If they're not good neighbours address it through the appropriate channels then.

FaFoutis · 09/04/2017 15:13

I understand the situation fine.
This is AIBU so people may not agree with you.

DioneTheDiabolist · 09/04/2017 15:16

Your other neighbours have to put up with your BBQ smoke. It's a complete waste of resources. It's costing you time, money and head space.

You really are drinking the poison yourself OP.

abbsisspartacus · 09/04/2017 15:17

But where do you Go? My neighbours like to smoke cannabis in there garden the bottom part which backs onto mine right by my kids trampoline which has become covered in cannabis smelling resin they also have huge bonfires in the summer so no open windows the police are not interested so what do I Do? My latest fantasy was pouring a gigantic bottle of zoflora over the drug shed to get rid of the stench of stale cannabis

jacks11 · 09/04/2017 15:18

Agree with others OP, this does not make you look good. The opposite, intact, as doing this brings you down to their level (if they are as bad as you say). And it is not especially non-confrontational, although it is petty.

It's possible that deliberately winding them up/annoying them will lead to an escalation of whatever behaviour has annoyed you so much. How does that benefit you? Very short-sighted, I would have thought. Why waste so much of your energy and time on thinking about them, far less wasting money on charcoal.

If whatever they have done can be tackled through official channels, then deal with it properly through those means. If it is not in the category, simply occupy the high moral ground and ignore their behaviour.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 09/04/2017 15:19

I don't have any neighbours within a mile radius for reasons highlighted on this thread. #nationofarseholes Biscuit

VestalVirgin · 09/04/2017 15:22

YABU OP.

If you want sympathy, at least give some context of what their horrible misdeeds are.

If your neighbours are fundamentalist Christians and misogynist, homophobic assholes, who have in the past been nasty to you or your family or your guests, then burning meat on your BBQ and telling them that you are making a burnt offering to the Lord, as the Bible tells you to, might be reasonable.

But, you know, we need context.

turn the other cheek op.

Did you know that, in Jesus' time, there was a convoluted set of social rules about how you were allowed to hit people, and the turned cheek was actually a challenge to do something illegal/something that'd have social consequences? I don't remember the details right now, but it is quite fascinating, and explain why it worked. (Acting like a doormat doesn't work)

HecateAntaia · 09/04/2017 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jacks11 · 09/04/2017 15:25

And OP, I have had nightmare neighbours. I do understand. I had all sorts of fantasies about getting my own back in all sorts of ways. Did I act on them? No- because it was unlikely to make the situation any better (even if I had some short lived satisfaction from annoying them) and was far more likely to make it worse.

What I did was address the problem through official channels (noise was one problem) and tried to rise above the rest, as I didn't want to given them the satisfaction of knowing they had succeeded in annoying and upsetting me.

If you post on AIBU? then you really ought to expect points of view that differ from your own.

honeysucklejasmine · 09/04/2017 15:26

Hecate sounds like my old ndn. I do admit to letting the gate slam now and then...

BillSykesDog · 09/04/2017 15:27

Yeah, all kinds of nasty next door neighbours believe their neighbours deserve it. Including you OP. This is how those nightmare neighbour wars start with stupid pointless tit for tat and an overdeveloped sense of self righteousness.

abbsisspartacus · 09/04/2017 15:29

He has a barking dog it is irritating so I stand outside in my garden and let him scream himself horse at his dog before he takes it in then my kids will play outside

Fairylea · 09/04/2017 15:33

Grin at the op.

I hate my neighbours too. They smoke weed and have loud parties until 3am in the summer very often. I've reported them to the police several times and nothing happens.

So now I go out and cut my grass at the same time as when they're having a party. Not very late but certainly when it's starting to get loud. I take a very long time doing it, sometimes I even put the sprinkler on and aim it just ever so slightly over their fence... oops.

happymumof4crazykids · 09/04/2017 15:34

I jet wash my decking when her washing is on the line Blush it gets filthy! it's just retaliation for all the times she purposely wakes the kids when she's drunk and thinks it's a great idea to thump walls and slam doors. I also refuse to accept her parcels but do it for all my other neighbours Halo

Maudlinmaud · 09/04/2017 15:36

Vestal I did not know that, love to know the original meaning of phrases. I'm off to read about it.

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