AIBU to think it is only superstrict school that has problem with our DS

[tinkerx5]

Our DS is a perfectly happy confident and sociable 7 year old. NEVER at any time have after school care, superb childminders or family and friends /grandparents he is left with - or ourselves think/indicated he is a problem in any way. DS is a confident and intelligent lad for his age...he has a wide vocabulary and interests, is advanced for his age in some school subjects, and has an accelerated reading and maths age. His school (a very strict Catholic results driven school) acknowledge this and he has accelerated maths and comprehension tuition at the school more suited to that level. The problem we think is with the school and not our DS ...DS has a mind and opinion of his own ...school teacher expects them (yes a class of 7-8 year olds) to work in silence every day - 1 hour in the morning and afternoon sessions -absolute silence. We know this because they told us our son had a problem during such sessions-fidgeting or completing work during these windows. He is kept in at break and lunch if he doesn't finish his work. Is it me or is this tough on a 7 y/o? DS does his homework at home without any issues. He also doesn't have tantrums, cross his arms in protest or get upset like he does at school, but of course is not expected to work in silence. He does work efficiently and quickly at home, if I ask him to help me at home with anything, he obliges and loves to get involved. AIBU that the school have turned around to say we should take DS to our GP for a referral? I really think they are attempting to force a sqaure peg into a round hole here. We have an older child that went to the same school and is now at university ...even they are shocked by the school's suggestion😯 and freely admit compared to their former school...this in was STRICT. The school is surrounded by very poor schools in our area. AIBU to dismiss the school concerns? If DS went to any of the surrounding schools here...trust me - they would think him an angel compared to many. We have to see the head nedt week...this is not over hitting, bullying or lashing out at other kids in any way...AIBU?

There was a BBC documentary where a Finnish teacher swapped with one from London. She was horrified that the children couldn't sit still and silent. She was also disgusted at how many questions they asked too, apparently children in Finland take the teachers word as gospel. She was utterly appalled at even the notion of back chat.

Not RTFT.

I teach 11-16's and many, many struggle with sitting still and sitting silently. Sitting still and silent is a key necessity for introspection and mindfulness - key for inner thought and, more importantly, a good basis for developing revision skills.

I'd be more than happy for my own DC to have times of 'quiet' because it's nigh on impossible to teach a class full of teenagers that are bouncing and constantly tapping, fiddling, clicking pens, whispering loudly, actually looking for distraction. I believe that we are creating a generation that are looking for constant stimulation, because we have allowed them access to instant information/entertainment.

It's actually a big problem for my school.

Welsh

I agree

I am in a y5 class and we have periods of silent working throughout the day. I think we have sleep-walked into a situation where some children cannot sit still and concentrate, and the ones who struggle the most have little outside activity and are obsessed with gaming.

Remember that documentary where they put a secret camera into a primary classroom? Every single parent said they thought their child was so well behaved and they were shocked by what the reality was.

Maybe in the future that will be a feature of parents' evenings. We won't just get to hear how our children behave, we'll be shown a recording of it too so we can see for ourselves!

Probably. So few parents actually believe an adult over their child. What would actually happen though is that they would scrutinise the teacher. "Well you looked at him funny" etc.

The later start of formal schooling is probably exactly why Finnish children are more able to sit and concentrate. They have had the chance to move around and play and develop the soft skills that enable them to be ready to learn.

Notyoda - please don't.

some children cannot sit still and concentrate, and the ones who struggle the most have little outside activity and are obsessed with gaming.

Really? You have proof of this do you or are you just believing the usual judgemental bullshit. I could not have given my child more exercise. We swam and walked and ran around. Went to the park and he had hardly any screen time. And yet he struggled to sit still for two or three minutes

This is the usual shit trotted out by those who do not understand.

If your ds does any school projects about the Industrial Revolution he could include this picture in it and hope the teacher gets the message about keeping him in at playtime.

Countess

Sorry. I had no intention of saying (although it is what I implied through poor wording) that all attention problem are caused by technology or lifestyle. Of course they are not.

But I do worry that they way some children live their lives (and I am thinking of specific children here) has impacted on their ability to learn at school

I absolutely do not doubt the existence of cognitive difficulties such as your child's and the struggles that parents go though for diagnosis and help.

Apologies.

Thank you for apologising and clarifying Yoda

I am very sensitive about this subject as you can see