To say no to social media until secondary school?

[Dancergirl]

Dd is 10, Year 5. Some of her friends are now using social media such as musical.ly, Instagram and Snapchat. Dd is asking me if she can too but I feel uncomfortable about it as I think it's too young. I don't see the rush to start.

I've said no to any social media until secondary school. AIBU?

No JacquesHammer the WhatsApp terms of service are very clear, it's not to be used by under 13's - yes, that is because of COPPA, but it's the method of getting out of the requirements of COPPA - not having under 13 year old members.

The law is not just about signing up. Your choice is fine, I have no problem with it, just don't try and justify it about rules and teaching, you've chosen 13 for facebook and 7 for whatsapp, that's fine, other people will choose different ages, just don't justify that you're somehow meeting the rules.

I am happy as a professional in the industry that we're totally meeting requirements hence why I was able to explain. The literature I have from Whatsapp supports this.

Oh and she's 10. She got the phone when she was 7

This excerpt from a site I regularly recommend to parents is useful: -

"By using WhatsApp, a user agrees to provide certain personal information such as their mobile phone number, billing and mobile device information.

If WhatsApp learns that identifiable information of a child under 16 has been collected on the WhatsApp Site or WhatsApp Service, then WhatsApp may deactivate the account"

FWIW, I am yet to have a discussion in any of the groups I run about Whatsapp which is interesting.

What is really exciting though is threough work we're working on a safer messaging app for children which I am totally evangelical about

Banning social media until a specific age doesn't protect kids. Open and honest conversations about safe use do. Let them use it in front of you with you having passwords and approval for 'friending'. Teach them it's a privilege they must earn that will be taken away the moment they contravene rules. Teach yourself how to protect children online.

Also, the FB rules about being 13 have nothing to do with child protection or maturity. It's a US law about what data companies can hold about children. If you do think it has something to do with child protection then you don't understand the rules around social media. It's not surprising since the myth is common but it does demonstrate how little most of us (me included) know about SM.

relaxo excellent points made about their cyber presence biting some youngsters on the arse in the future.

My Dd isbyear 6 and none of her friends have social media. Nor do any of my friends' children in primary schools. I find this thread sad and extraordinary

You're lucky, I think I'll come and live near you

A study published yesterday showed social media makes children more prone to depression, jealousy and isolation. Why expose them to that so young?

I haven't read this study but I can believe it. I know everyone parents differently but this sort of decision affects other children because they don't want to be left out. I wish more people said no. And I don't believe introducing it earlier helps children to be safe on SM. My older two are teens and are SM users but I didn't allow it till around Year 7 or 8. We do talk about safe use and they learn about it in PSHE at school, they do seem very clued up and sensible. But that is wildly different from a 8/9/10 year old who just have the maturity to deal with the issues.

My younger nieces and nephews have social media accounts. They're not allowed to actually post anything themselves yet (except for when messaging apps are used for study groups, and they do that on the family computer), but they have their friends added and can see what they're posting and thus be more in the loop.

I think it's quite a good way to go about it. It lets them stay up to date with conversations and with the technology and trends, and they get to see how their peers are using it without getting involved themselves. They see the stupid posts and because they're not fully invested in it they can take a step back and learn from others mistakes a bit.

A study published yesterday showed social media makes children more prone to depression, jealousy and isolation

Please can someone find this? Id be really interested in seeing this. Googling doesn't bring anything recent.

Just realised that the actual study was not published this week, for some reason it was written about I. The Guardian this week but published in Dec:

papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2886783.

www.theguardian.com/society/2017/apr/09/social-networks--children-chat-feel-less-happy-facebook-instagram-whatsapp

What a terrible abstract, the described study can only find correlational outcomes, but it's written as causational.

This appears to be a discussion paper rather than a peer reviewed article. It is also only one. There are others showing both positive and negative effects of social media.

I'd say no till they're doing GCSE's, it adds too many pressures onto children.

My dd (10) uses musical.ly which I have full access to on my phone. She has Snapchat (again I have full access to her account) but doesn't send photos or communicate with pals - she like making crazy photos of herself.
We have a no electronic devices after 6 rule and a no electronic devices left in the bedroom rule.
I hate that she's anywhere near it but we talk about it.
I figured it is better not as forbidden fruit.
A lot of her classmates seem to have unrestricted access to Instagram. Which is horrifying.