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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I drink too much?

321 replies

user1491413344 · 05/04/2017 18:35

I drink a bottle of wine every night. DH says this is too much and thinks I should stop.

Is it too much? Thought it was okay.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 05/04/2017 20:09

brickinitIam:

She has already said she drinks nightly. You don't need to ask the question - it has already been answered and frankly makes you look a bit of a bully.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/04/2017 20:12

I'm a recovering problem drinker , I'm 93 days dry and have never felt better. I was really worried that I'd not manage a week , never mind giving up for months on end.

I was like you and drinking a lot, automatically pouring a drink without thought about 5.00 pm when I started preparing food for tea.

It's your call but I feel you'll be pleasantly surprised by the lifting of your mood when the booze has left your body.

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:15

Being straight with people is not being bullying.
If wish people had been more honest with me instead of worrying about hurting my feelings.
The OP has asked if 1 bottle of wine per night is too much.

Yes it is.

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:15

I wish.

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:16

Stillstayingclassy,
How did you do it?
What support did you use?

Trooperslane · 05/04/2017 20:16

Oh dear OP.

As others say, if you have to ask....

I'm a lurker on the BraveBabes threads and I am FAR from a sensible drinker.... I'm trying to get my head straight to be a bit stronger but very emotional and difficult time for me right now but I need to sort it. (to be clear: this is NO excuse).

My DH is far from pleased either - can you access some counselling?

I'd advise the Headspace app and also a book - The Naked Mind.

Big hugs

Sciurus83 · 05/04/2017 20:16

Someone has already linked to the Brave Babes Battle Bus thread on Relationships, there is the DRY thread too. Get over there and find your tribe, they are a very supportive group of people cutting down alcohol and a much better place to talk about these things than AIBU. Flowers

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:18

She has already said she drinks nightly. You don't need to ask the question - it has already been answered and frankly makes you look a bit of a bully.

Speaking over and on behalf of a person (OP) who hasn't asked you to, could also be classed as bullying.

TheoriginalLEM · 05/04/2017 20:19

Please ignore all the twats on here Op.

I was in a similar situation, at least three bottlesa week sometimes more. What opened my eyes was when i went to a party and drank so much i was hallucinating the next day and i honestly think i nearly died.

I stopped drinking full stop and now am back to sensible levels. So maybe one pint of beer with a meal or a bottle ahared with Dp probably every other week at most.

I went from being scared i was an alcoholic,even posted on here - and got a much kinder response but then it only takes one idiot to post "straight talking" crap for the sheep to pile in! To just stopping.

I also suffer from anxiety but since stopping drinking i have been able to come off meds. Oh and list over a stone in weight.

We are pressurised into drinking.My colleagues were devastated when i had half a glass of wine at the Christmas dinner. Still get comments about -oooh you're still not drinking then. No im not because I decided to stop and i stopped for me not you. Everyone posting on Fb about wine o vlock normalises it.

I don't think you are an alcoholic any more than i was but you are drinking far more than what is healthy and you are in danger of crossing the line. Now is a good time to stop and take control.

I had to just stop and i wont buy wine for home as i can't open a bottle and just have one glass i know id drink it all.

Now when i have a drink i enjoy it. Its a treat. Before it was just what i did. No more of a treat than a cup of tea.

I found buying bottle green cordials a nice alternative. Ginger and lemongrass is my favourite.

Trifleorbust · 05/04/2017 20:19

Speaking over and on behalf of a person (OP) who hasn't asked you to, could also be classed as bullying.

Over her? How am I speaking over her?

And just no.

All you had to say was yes, it's too much.

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:20

Also, dissecting and nitpicking over a poster's comment (mine) is also a form of bullying. So don't come the bullying shit with me.

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:21

How's about this?
There was no need to say anything. It's not your job to police a thread and tell people off who's comments don't match what you 'think' they should write.

Trifleorbust · 05/04/2017 20:21

brickinitIam

Now you are being aggressive. Please try to be nicer.

Trifleorbust · 05/04/2017 20:22

brickinitIam:

This is now derailing the thread. Suggest we agree to disagree and move on.

muttrat · 05/04/2017 20:23

Oh leave brickit alone she hasn't been that bad.

TBH alcohol threads are triggering for me, maybe brickit is the same

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:24

Trifle,
Put a sock in it.

As well as derailing the thread,
your sanctimonious, prissy comments are enough to drive anyone to drink Grin

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:24

muttrat, I'm trying to.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 05/04/2017 20:26

Do people just not give a fuck about health guidelines??

Well TBF generally not. How many healthy eating non-smokers of correct weight who don't drink too much and do the suggested amount of exercise per week do you know? I suspect it is about 15% of the population.

I never think hurling the word 'alcoholic' around is helpful tbh, it's a label that takes control away from the person to the drink. That's not good.

But yes OP you are drinking too much. If I drink a bottle of wine in one go I feel rough as hell the next day. That is a hell of a lot of alcohol. Why not try to cut down to half as a start?

Instasista · 05/04/2017 20:28

Of course people ignore government guidelines. Who lives their life by government guidelines? Confused

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:30

I never think hurling the word 'alcoholic' around is helpful tbh, it's a label that takes control away from the person to the drink. That's not good.

Isn't that what you have to say in AA?

''My name is .........and I'm an Alcoholic'?
It seems AA thinks it's alright to label yourself an alcoholic Confused

The book I'm reading at the moment, Control Alcohol by Annie Grace says that a very small percentage of people are successful with AA, something like 14% of all alcoholics.

It's food for thought.

SongforSal · 05/04/2017 20:34

I'm the same op! Not every night, but most! It's mostly out of habit! I am aware it's over guidelines, I certainly wouldn't class myself as an alcoholic as some posters suggest! I am however aware, I can be cooking dinner, and mindlessly opening a bottle. For that reason I'm making a conscious effort not to!

Increasinglymiddleaged · 05/04/2017 20:34

I don't know but as you say it only succeeds in 14% of cases. It's hardly an empowering word is it? Confused

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/04/2017 20:37

brickin I used Dry January as my motivation and the app that goes with it, it's like crossing days off the calendar and I still use it.

I wasn't physically dependant on alcohol but I loved the thought of that first drink after getting home from work and I'm a drinker who can't have just the one. I still think longingly about a lovely cold glass of wine but I've reached a point now where I can conquer that thought and stick to no booze at all.

Beeziekn33ze · 05/04/2017 20:38

Ask your GP to help you.

brickinitIam · 05/04/2017 20:39

I agree.
It makes it sound as if it's a disease that can't be cured.
The fact the word has a shameful connotation doesn't help either.

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