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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DP?

159 replies

Supermagicsmile · 05/04/2017 12:06

If you were given a present and your Dp asked for half of it, is it unreasonable to say no?

It was an Easter egg and I had already eaten half Blush Dp wanted the other half and I (selfishly) didn't want to give it up but did say dp could have it. I know it's selfish to want to keep it to myself but I have issues around food going back to my childhood (which Dp doesn't understand).

Apparently because I didn't give it up willingly I am selfish and dp now won't speak to me. Hmm

AIBU? It was a gift to me as a thank you for the past few months and I wanted to enjoy all of it. Blush

OP posts:
VeryButchyRestingFace · 05/04/2017 14:09

Apparently because I didn't give it up willingly I am selfish and dp now won't speak to me. hmm

Lolol. In the words of Depeche Mode, enjoy the silence, I say. 🙄

I would have given him some 🍫, but certainly not half. (as if)

piddleypower · 05/04/2017 14:11

This sounds like me and my brother when we were about ten years old. You are adults! I'd give him a bit, scoff the rest, and get on with your adult lives!

NightWanderer · 05/04/2017 14:12

I knew someone who was going to divorce her husband over ice cream. She was overweight but had bought a 6 pack of Haagen Dazs minitubs for treats. She found them unopened at the bottom of the bin. She was SO mad.

The egg was a thank you present for the OP. I would have given him a little but definitely not all the rest. My kids don't have to share their treats if they don't want to. You can ask, but if the person says no you have to accept that.

PlayNice · 05/04/2017 14:12

Wait, yeah, so had you already eaten half when he asked? That's very different from asking at the start.

That's taking all of the rest for him to enjoy once you've finished your bit (in the assumed knowledge that you still had another half to enjoy).

That really sucks. I'd have shared half at the start if he'd asked then, or offered him half of what was left.

But totally don't think you were being unreasonable not to. It was yours. It's nice to share if you're happy to do so or if there are limited resources. But it's not selfish not to want to - especially when he could have got himself chocolate pretty easily (I assume).

Bluebell9 · 05/04/2017 14:12

If DP had come in when I'd eaten half already, I'd share what I had left with him. But he would never expect me to give him the remaining half just because I'd already had half, especially if to was a present to me.
And DP wouldn't ask, he would only take it if I offered.

jay55 · 05/04/2017 14:14

Yes corythatwas huge difference in saying "ooo that looks nice, can I try a bit." And "Give me all you have left."

purplecoathanger · 05/04/2017 14:14

Fucking hell, no one gets my chocolate and I mean no one!

expatinscotland · 05/04/2017 14:17

He's a bit of a cunt.

supersop60 · 05/04/2017 14:19

didleave has hit the nail on the head. This isn't about chocolate. Or food. The OP's DH is an arse for a) asking for half and b) sulking about getting it.

splendide · 05/04/2017 14:21

Yeah agreed actually, if it really was a demand to hand over all of the remaining half he sounds like a dick.

purplecoathanger · 05/04/2017 14:24

Yes I agree he's a cunt. How dare he demand? As for now sulking, he's a double cunt for that.

Mrs9C · 05/04/2017 14:24

I'm a bit concerned if he stops talking to you over chocolate, what would happen if a serious problem arose Confused

Mrs9C · 05/04/2017 14:24

And agreed, no-one gets my chocolate either!

purplecoathanger · 05/04/2017 14:25

If my parents had called me Noah I would have asked for a divorce from them.

purplecoathanger · 05/04/2017 14:26

Oops wrong thread. Sorry Blush

MycatsaPirate · 05/04/2017 14:40

YANBU

It's yours to share or not to share.

I was given a tin of very posh biscuits as a thank you. However I did share them with DP and DD.

An Easter Egg though?

The conversation would go like this:

DP: Are you sharing that egg?
ME:
DP: Is that it?
ME; Buy your own, this is mine.

Although I may then lick half of it and ask him if he still wanted half.

HerOtherHalf · 05/04/2017 14:42

It was an Easter egg and as Easter has very special religious significance I think you should ask yourself "what would Jesus have done?" I have pondered this long and hard on your behalf, referring to my knowledge of the bible for guidance, and believe I have the answer. You should have given your husband a bit of loaf and some fish and scoffed the egg yourself.

WorraLiberty · 05/04/2017 14:51

Fucking hell, no one gets my chocolate and I mean no one!

And agreed, no-one gets my chocolate either!

You haven't said why though?

Why you wouldn't offer your DP/DC some of your chocolate?

NightWanderer · 05/04/2017 14:58

Its like taking the last cigarette off a smoker. You just don't do that and not expect repercussions. Obviously if you are ambivalent about chocolate it's not a big deal, but for many people it is a big deal. There must be something you're addicted to? How about you make yourself a cup of morning coffee with the last of the coffee and he asked for the rest when you'd only drunk half?

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 05/04/2017 15:04

I really don't get this. You can buy a hundred Easter eggs. I'd share without a thought l.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 05/04/2017 15:15

I really don't get this. You can buy a hundred Easter eggs.

Precisely. So presumably OP's husband can go and do just that?

Thereby totally avoiding the need to send her to Coventry.

Naicehamshop · 05/04/2017 15:20

Have you read the full thread, Lola and Worra? Confused

It's NOT a question of sharing some egg, it's a question of someone demanding all of the rest of the egg, and then going into a sulk and refusing to speak because it wasn't handed over with the right attitude!

Surely you can see that this is controlling behaviour?

WorraLiberty · 05/04/2017 15:24

Naice I have indeed read and participated throughout the thread.

My question, was to those who have simply said that they don't share chocolate, but they've not said (or even alluded to) the reason why.

LadyPW · 05/04/2017 15:28

Did he ask for a bit, ask for half or demand half? Because the answer makes a huge difference. Personally I would have offered a bit without being asked, and I would have handed over a bit. But you wouldn't get half. And if you asked for half you'd get Hmm and no chocolate because that's just greedy.

Stormtreader · 05/04/2017 15:28

Saying you know he wants you to lose weight makes this sound like it might be him taking an attitude some people take around people they think are too fat - they think the fat person needs to be "trained" out of liking food. Any desire to keep or eat nice things is seen as a sign of "see, this is how you got that way".

The fact he didnt even eat the chocolate shows it wasnt the chocolate he wanted, it was your immediate and cheerful surrender of the chocolate that was the aim. Now hes said youve "soured it with your attitude", I bet you didnt enjoy eating it as much as you would have, did you?