Girls told to wear longer skirts at school because the boys are distracted and male teachers feel uncomfortable.

[Exercisejunkieforlife]

My DD is 15, yesterday all the girls were kept behind in assembly and told they must wear skirts from the official uniform shop.
I have no problem with this as this is where we get DDs skirts, my problem is with the reasons given.

They were told that it distracts the boys when the girls walk up the stairs and makes the male teachers feel uncomfortable.

AIBU to think that the girls should not have to modify their behaviour / what they wear so the 'boys' don't look up their skirts and that the male teachers are responsible for their own feelings. ?

Not sure which post of mine you're responding to there trifleorbust could you clarify? If as I suspect it's the one where I tell you that the school haven't said it's everyone's responsibility to dress decently, OP only mentions them having told the girls this. That's not everyone. OP also doesn't mention anything about the feelings of female staff. So I am not sure what you're addressing here.

*The op has not said the school were wrong to ask the girls to stick to dress code, only that making the girls worry about the boys (and men's!) feelings was wrong!

Why is that difficult to grasp?*

Difficult to grasp because that's not what was said. They were told it is "distracting" for the boys which I'm sure it is. Teenage boys are bound to look if girls skirts are so short they are showing their knickers. Transition from one class to another should not include seeing other students' underwear. The girls haven't been asked to consider the boys feelings they have been asked to modify their uniform because it is causing an unwelcome distraction.

Not sexist, just sensible advice from the professionals who are trying their best to educate the children and could do without the unnecessary fashion show.

because look at all the accusations that the males have had in just this thread. they are being put in an awkward position that could have severe consequences for them personally and professionally

theyre not creeping under desks to sneak a peek. they are in obvious view and thats not appropriate

imagine if mr teacher began his class by listing the colour of each girls thong he could see- he would be fired. but why is he is a position where he can see the colour by doing no more than standing at the front of the class- its not appropriate

Definitely contact the school. They need to be clearer about who is responsible for whose behaviour and comfort and state that everyone should dress according to the school rules for everyone's comfort.
The message that girls should moderate what they do so that boys and men are more comfortable is far too pervasive already without the school officially underlining it.
It is not acceptable to show underwear (for anyone); if indeed the boys have their butts hanging out that has to stop too.
I guess they could simply have the uniform be trousers for everyone - job done!

Teenagers need to realise what is appropriate to wear in different situations.
If you disagree with the comments made, then why shouldn't teenagers go to school with everything on display? What is the line to be drawn?
You could also question why they would want to wear this? What is the point of wearing short skirts to school as it is hardly functional?
The truth of the matter is, whatever the reasons, it is important that teenagers realise What is appropriate and when.
I have no issues with wearing short skirts etc. just agree, not in this setting.

Yes, in an ideal world we could all walk round butt naked teaching the finer points of punctuation. My preference would be to wear clothes.

Teenage girls showing their knickers WILL make male teachers feel uncomfortable and WILL distract male students. It is convention that we cover our underwear in formal environments. Making schools some sort of testing ground for extreme clothing choices is bad for the students, who all have a right to focus on their education without having to worry about standing up to present on the Tudors and getting an eyeful of someone's crotch. Not cool at all.

The girls haven't been asked to consider the boys feelings they have been asked to modify their uniform because it is causing an unwelcome distraction.

What would you say the distinction is between telling the girls to modify their uniform to consider the boys feelings and telling them to modify their uniform because it is causing an unwelcome distraction to the boys?

FFS seriously in this day in age you would think teachers would deal with this in an appropriate manner without making young females feel like this! Make my blood boil

I also do feel that the situation has been handled poorly by the school and feel that the reasons given would make me feel uncomfortable. Seems very sexist however i do agree that they shouldnt be worn to school.

ElisavetaFartsonira:

I was addressing you.

I imagine the girls would object to be pulled into the hall with the boys to be told off about showing the boys their underwear.

If the boys aren't dressing inappropriately, the uniform code is enough for them. When they start showing their underwear they can be told off too.

YANBU, that reason is pretty awful.

However, I personally really hate the double standard so often associated with this stuff (at least that's how I remember it. Bikinis not being allowed [swmisuits or shirts] whereas the male students were allowed to wear normal trunks...)

Give every kid slacks and button ups and shirt length wouldn't even be an issue.

And I personally do hope they're enforcing correct uniform for boys and girls (sagging pants, short shirt, incorrect knots etc...)

I think what was wrong here was the reason given for the requirement that girls wear longer skirts. The announcement should have been:

The school requires that all pupils wear uniform of a size, length and style that is appropriate for school. That includes:

• skirts worn with the hem no shorter than (state length)
• no underwear visible at all, (ie no pants visible above trousers, knickers visible owing to short skirts etc)
• no clothing that is inappropriately tight or fitted - with examples. This would include boys and girls wearing trousers or skirts which are too tight.

-no transparent fabrics

There are presumably other requirements - eg style, colour, logos, which could be reiterated at the same time.

YANBU. This is sexist and yet another way to suppress women, telling girls/women that they should change to make the 'superior' gender feel more comfortable.

Right trifle but if that's the case, you were wrong to suggest they've been told it's everyone's responsibility to dress decently. Because they weren't. If what you're saying is that the boys don't need telling and/or the responsibility of the boys shouldn't have been mentioned to the girls (and you don't know whether they're showing their underwear or not, OP hasn't told us that) then that should be spelled out.

Also, whether the boys were present when the girls were told about underwear is a different issue entirely to whether the girls were told it was everyone's responsibility. It would eg have been perfectly possible to see only the girls and tell them it was everyone's responsibility to dress responsibly, then see the boys separately and also see that.

However, based on the information we have, there has been nothing said to either the boys or the girls to suggest that anyone other than the girls has a responsibility to dress decently, and only the girls have been told that they need to consider the feelings of the opposite sex. That is a problem.

Fozzleyplum:

I don't disagree, but if a parent asks why (and in my school they do) what should the message be?

ElisavetaFartsonira:

As it happens I was talking about what other posters were saying, but I still think you are wrong. If you have a rule and it is being widely flouted, there is nothing wrong with pointing out to a group of people that the flouting of that rule by a sub-group has a negative effect on another group.

The uniform code sends the same message to the boys; it is just that they don't seem to need to have that message reiterated.

The school are just requesting girls stick to the school uniform skirt. If 15 year old girls are wearing skirts up to their arses then of course hormonal 15 year old boys might get distracted. It doesn't mean they can't control themselves! But what 15 year old boy wouldn't be looking at a girls arse as she walks up the stairs flashing her knickers? And I can quite imagine it would make teachers uncomfortable also as many 15 year old girls are fully developed and wear these short skirts to attract attention. Again it doesn't mean the teacher can't control them self.

It's common sense. Wear the short skirt in social situations fine, but it isn't appropriate at school is it? Just like it wouldn't be in a normal work environment.

Yes they should wear skirts of an appropriate length not the crotch skimming ones I see some girls in. But that's so they have freedom of movement and to reflect workplace dresscodes.

Distracting of boys and ffs teachers is not the girls problem. If particular girls are behaving inappropriately then that should be addresssed with then individually. We should boys behaving inappropriately be addressed with them individually

Apologies for the misplaced apostrophe - shame! - in my previous post. The rest stands.

The uniform code sends the same message to the boys; it is just that they don't seem to need to have that message reiterated.

Once again, you don't know whether they do or not trifle and once again, this isn't about the uniform code which should of course be enforced. It's about telling the girls that they should observe it, because of the impact on the males around them. We have no mention of this happening to the boys.

I'm not wrong about any of that, because it's all in the OP's posts and thus not a matter of opinion.

This thread is staggering tbh.

Apparently a make cannot feel uncomfortable for not wanting to see inappropriate clothing in a professional environment!

It's disgusting actually.