Girls told to wear longer skirts at school because the boys are distracted and male teachers feel uncomfortable.

[Exercisejunkieforlife]

My DD is 15, yesterday all the girls were kept behind in assembly and told they must wear skirts from the official uniform shop.
I have no problem with this as this is where we get DDs skirts, my problem is with the reasons given.

They were told that it distracts the boys when the girls walk up the stairs and makes the male teachers feel uncomfortable.

AIBU to think that the girls should not have to modify their behaviour / what they wear so the 'boys' don't look up their skirts and that the male teachers are responsible for their own feelings. ?

The op has not said the school were wrong to ask the girls to stick to dress code, only that making the girls worry about the boys (and men's!) feelings was wrong!

Why is that difficult to grasp?

I don't think short skirts are appropriate in school. DD went to an all girls school so no boys to 'make uncomfortable' but they still had to wear skirt just above the knee. They can wear what they want how they want out of school but just as in the workplace, clothes for school shouldn't be really revealing. I think it sets the tone for learning that there are different standards in different settings.

YANBU.

DD's school had fairly regular reminders (in assembly/tutorial/ occasional letter) about sticking to the uniform, skirt length requirements and not 'rolling' skirts. It's an all girls' school - its not to do with boys, its that there's always some who want to bend the rules a bit. Same sort of stuff about top buttons, ties and 'natural hair colour'.

i believe if your behaviour makes someone feel uncomfortable, it is up to you to change that behaviour. otherwise you are victim blaming

MrsPacMan
We used to have to kneel at assembly to show our skirts came to the correct length

Did you go to a school run by nuns too?

We used to have nuns with measuring tapes to make sure that the length from waistband to hemline was 'suitable' for wearing in school.

And it really doesn't matter if your sons are distracted because of their hormones! Smartphones would be banned if it was merely about distraction and I'm sorry but your sons will see miles of bum over the next few decades of his life... bestbhe learn to control himself

This is the same reason we were given for wearing skirts no shorter than 1inch above the knee and we were not allowed to wear a white shirt with a coloured bra without a jumper or blazer. This was actually implemented by the senior mistress as she has a very low opinion of teenage boys, and, I found out later a very active feminist. Teaching both boys and girls about decorum is no bad thing. Much as I like the idea that girls and women should wear what they want without fear of unwanted attention that's not real life.

I think we are ignoring an elephant here: of course most 14/15 year old boys will feel aroused by the sight of girls' underwear. Of course they are entitled to feel uncomfortable about the fact that they feel aroused by this when, if they admit they are looking, they will be sanctioned for sexual harassment. That is incredibly unfair on the boys. It is in no way 'making the girls responsible for their feelings' to say that it is everyone's responsibility to dress decently.

i bet the female teachers and students dont want to see the skimpy underwear of a 15 year old girl too

Most probably, and yet that wasn't mentioned. Says a lot.

Not uncomfortable, horny ariawa.

sexually provocative

I hate this phrase, even more when it's used to describe teenage girls or clothes. If clothes were sexually provocative, we'd have spates of men humping mannequins in River Island. If teenage girls are wearing revealing skirts, their biggest worry should be breaking dress code, not "provoking" a boy or man into sexually assaulting her.

The girls from our local comp overwhelmingly wear skirts that end at their crotch whilst standing up. I think it's atrocious and wish that there was a policy there like the one you have just described.

I think there is no harm in pointing out the bleeding obvious- if you are coming to school in an item of clothing that is so short you can't help flashing your pants on a regular basis, people are going to be distracted this will affect boys/men more than other females. If you are a child flashing your pants yes, a male teacher is going to be more uncomfortable than a female teacher as they would just have to look in the wrong direction at the wrong time to be accused of being a pervert- although no doubt if a female teacher was known to be lesbian no doubt she could just as easily be accused of that.

Of course boys/men should control themselves, but if girls are flashing their pants day in day out it is a problem. It would be a problem if boys were flashing their briefs too but they don't tend to do that as much.

it says uncomfortable in the op, not horny

It is in no way 'making the girls responsible for their feelings' to say that it is everyone's responsibility to dress decently.

That's not what was said though...

Funny how girls can control themselves when boys walk around with their trousers sagging halfway down their arse. Are those boys not being sexually provocative too?

nothing has been mentioned about the boys or male teachers being unable to control themselves, or sexually assault one of the girls or walk about with throbbing erections.

they feel uncomfortable and that should be respected

The school staff are stupid but not that stupid and I think you must know that ariawa

ElisavetaFartsonira:

The OP says that about the male teachers. Lots of posters have said very similar things about the boys.

But I would extend it to the male teachers too. They shouldn't be coming to work and having to look at girls' underwear during double maths. It's not on.

What's the uncomfort from? They've been to the pool before? The majority will have watched porn.

Why are they so "uncomfortable" are they concerned he girls are going to rape them in their short skirts? Why the faux wide eyed innocence?

YANBU.

Fine to insist on the dress code being followed. Wrong to say that girls are responsible for males being distracted by dress code violations. This sends the wrong message.

What do they wear for PE? or Swimming? are the school constantly having to restrain the boys and male teachers when the sports clothing causes them to lose control????

No!!!

The whole thing is ridiculous, Men and boys are perfectly capable of focusing on their work when women are wearing little! I've never notice a problem watching the Olympics - the male camera men seem fine!!!!!

We should stop putting so much focus in society on what people wear - then people will learn to focus on the important things in life.

I've actually managed to go to pools surrounded by half naked teenage boys and not give a shit. Because I'm not a pervert

I don't think boys school trousers tend to be of the saggy halfway down arse variety and their blazers cover their bums anyway, so no problem there. I don't see how a boy in school uniform can make it sexually provocative TBH.

But they are children. Children do not make anything sexually provocative. Anyone who sees clothing in underage girls as provocative has far more issues than said "provocative" clothing