Girls told to wear longer skirts at school because the boys are distracted and male teachers feel uncomfortable.

[Exercisejunkieforlife]

My DD is 15, yesterday all the girls were kept behind in assembly and told they must wear skirts from the official uniform shop.
I have no problem with this as this is where we get DDs skirts, my problem is with the reasons given.

They were told that it distracts the boys when the girls walk up the stairs and makes the male teachers feel uncomfortable.

AIBU to think that the girls should not have to modify their behaviour / what they wear so the 'boys' don't look up their skirts and that the male teachers are responsible for their own feelings. ?

At no point has the OP said nor has school said the teachers sexualise the girls.

There is a MASSIVE difference between sexualise and inappropriate, more so in a school setting, it's not a beach party, it's a learning environment!

YANBU

Girls should wear the correct uniform because that is what you wear to school. They are not in a situation where you can dress how you like. It's fine for the school to enforce their uniform policy.

It is NOT fine for the school to be making girls responsible for the feelings or behaviour of the boys. Even more wrong to tell girls that they are responsible for adult men perving over them.

Well then why does it happen at all girls schools too then.

Is this an all girls school where they teleport directly from home to school or one where they travel in public?

If the environment is opening the girls to sexual harassment then it needs to change. In particular, of my daughter was at that school I'd want to know which teachers were incapable of controlling their
perving over teenage girls

I would take a bet that none of the teachers were "perving" over the girls and that it was just a very stupid choice of words by whoever was taking that assembly. I would be furious if I were a male member of staff at that school at the implications of what was being said - how insulting.

I just hate that word "perving" - I once accidentally bumped into a teenage boy at my last school (I was a woman in my 50s) and when I apologised he called me a perv. It's just such an easy insult to throw. Still annoys me now - I took it up with him and he called me a paedo, so the whole thing ended up escalating - he ended up having to apologise.

So something along the lines of this would be way better-

Dear Parents,

Please ensure your DDs are not wearing bum skimming skirts for school as it implies they have no dignity or self worth.

Many thanks

School

Let the girls wear trousers then.

Change the uniform so that skirts are optional and then let the girls wear trousers. If boys want to start wearing skirts then let them to that either.

The reasons given to the girls at assembly in this case are very frustrating. I can't understand how this is still happening in 2017.

Emo culture not who culture

Yes, I'm sure self-respect and dignity were mentioned in our letter shovetheholly.

I wish I could find it - it was very well put together.

Short skirts at school are not appropriate. It's not a fashion show, it's a place to learn. But I do think parents have a role to play in this. I live near a primary school and this morning I saw a year 6 girl wearing a very short flouncy skirt that barely covered her backside. Coupled with black tights and boots with a 2-3 inch heel!! Outside of school, not a problem, but uniform exists for a reason.

Love it Sparkling

I'm trying to answer without reference to the general consensus on the rest of the thread... I think it is inappropriate for teenage girls to wear skirts to school that to all intents and purposes force other people to look at their underwear. I have to look ahead of me on the stairs and I don't want to see their knickers. That doesn't make me a pervert. I don't want to see anyone's knickers.

Is the children allowed to wear trousers? OP

I have 3 secondary school near me, all 3 are allowed to wear trousers and skirts, about 80% of the girls CHOOSE to wear skirts. (They are actually quite nice)

I am sure all the parents would be absolutely fine with that letter Pest.

Yanbu, and this is absolutely a sexist issue because that's what teaching girls they're responsible for male attitudes to their clothing is. You cannot possibly remove it from the societal context.

The school are quite right to enforce the uniform rules, for the reasons already mentioned. Workplace standards etc. That's what the rationale should've been and yes, you ought to discuss this with them. I would point out how inappropriate the talk was, whilst also assuring them that they have your full support wrt the uniform policy.

I totally understand why any teacher wouldn't want to see this.

I wouldn't want to see it either. The remark was sexist because it only mentioned the male teachers implied that the girls are somehow responsible for their feelings.

Very good points re trousers also.

This thread kind of proves the problem quite nicely with the male teachers being demonised and accused of having erections/lewd thoughts/sexualising teen girls, neatly ignoring the fact that female teachers also find it uncomfortable even though they have the option to tell a teen girl that their skirt is too short without being accused of being a sexual pervert/predator.

YANBU.

Requesting that official uniform skirts be worn is not the problem. Enforcing uniform is not the problem.

The reason given IS the problem. In what they've said, the insinuation is that if the boys stare, it is the fault of the girls and the way they've dressed. It's a small thing that feeds into a much bigger thing; the idea that girls "ask for it" (unwanted attention, sexual harassment, assault and rape) because of what they're wearing. In a vacuum, such a discussion might not be such a huge problem.

In an age where rape culture is prevalent and victim-blaming even more so, it's a dangerous message to send.

i bet the female teachers and students dont want to see the skimpy underwear of a 15 year old girl too

Yes I would think a male teacher would be very reluctant to point out a too short skirt as it confirms he has noticed it. Which he shouldn't be doing apparently.

When I was last teaching all the girls did wear trousers but there was a fashion of trousers low, knickers high. I had to tell quite a few girls to adjust their clothing but I wouldn't have brought distracting males into it.

We used to have to kneel at assembly to show our skirts came to the correct length.

I think you're being up in arms for the sake of it. It's not about telling girls that their bahaviour dictates male or female response, it's about telling them to make smart choices.

If you show your bum boobs knickers men/women will look. It's a learning environment and should be professional.

The girls are being sexually provocative by their choice of clothing. Boys and men should control their urges to respond, but girls and women should not put themselves on display at school.

It isn't just on stairs that short skirts are a liability. Have you been in a theatre-style assembly hall when a couple of hundred crotches are on view, as female pupils in short skirts sit without considering what is on display? Or, where the smart ones have brightly coloured lycra shorts protecting their modesty but flashing to the stage? Not a pretty sight. Any classroom with tables rather than old fashioned desks (most classrooms, that is) will be similar - if girls are relaxed they don't keep their knees together and in a short skirt, everything is on show.

Outraged 'she can wear what she likes' types should get over it. Staff and other students need to be able to get on with their day without seeing your dd's fannies.

This shouldn't have been made into a male/female thing - that's where they went wrong - it is a common decency issue, and they (the school) need pulling up on this.