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AIBU?

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Original poster

Girls told to wear longer skirts at school because the boys are distracted and male teachers feel uncomfortable.

585 replies

Exercisejunkieforlife · 05/04/2017 08:54

My DD is 15, yesterday all the girls were kept behind in assembly and told they must wear skirts from the official uniform shop.
I have no problem with this as this is where we get DDs skirts, my problem is with the reasons given.

They were told that it distracts the boys when the girls walk up the stairs and makes the male teachers feel uncomfortable.

AIBU to think that the girls should not have to modify their behaviour / what they wear so the 'boys' don't look up their skirts and that the male teachers are responsible for their own feelings. ?

OP posts:
iLoveCamelCase · 05/04/2017 11:22

I don't think that the issue is that male teachers are distracted sexually by 15 year olds?! I am a teacher and work with many extremely professional male teachers. They feel uncomfortable because it is their job to challenge all students wearing incorrect uniform. It can be very difficult for a male teacher to tell a female student that her skirt is too short/tight as they may themselves open to allegations and comments like: "You shouldn't be looking!" or accusations of being a "pervert." Girls and boys should be dressing appropriately for school, end of story. The reason shouldn't be to do with the hormonal impulses of teenage boys but that wearing short, tight skirts is not appropriate for a learning environment. I am 100% certain that the discomfort of male teachers is NOTHING to do with sexual interest and everything to do with it laying then open to malicious allegations if they challenge the girl on her inappropriate attire!

claritytobeclear · 05/04/2017 11:23

Sparkling, I have had to point it out to my Ds when he has inadvertently tucked his shirt into his boxers, round the back, which then show above his waistband. The school give demerit points for shirts not tucked in. Still trying to get him to look properly in the mirror. It can happen but it is not a good look!

CauliflowerSqueeze · 05/04/2017 11:23

Girls wear their skirts short to show off their legs. Same reason as they roll up their skirts. Nobody wants to see their underwear and if they have only a few inches between that and the bottom of their skirt then obviously when they are bending over or walking up stairs then anyone passing who glances in that direction will get an eyeful.

Of course it's fine for the school to mention it.

Trifleorbust · 05/04/2017 11:24

NancyWake:

On my school the female PE teachers take the girls and the male PE teachers take the boys swimming/changing etc.

Being realistic, a teacher walking into a swimming pool EXPECTS to see teenagers in swimming gear. It isn't a shock or a surprise, isn't sexual, and it shouldn't ever be an issue.

However, if you see something totally unexpectedly that, in any other context, you might find arousing, and become aroused, it is a slightly different kettle of fish. I would be horrified if a male teacher got an erection because he saw a Y8 girls' knickers. Disgusted and horrified and yes, I would want to see him leave the profession and would report him myself. But a Y11 girl of 16? I would have to report it, but I would privately accept that it wasn't him being a pervert. It was him seeing something and applying the usual connotations of sexuality to it that he might do perfectly reasonably outside the classroom (for example, in a music video where no-one would question him finding an 18 year old dancer in her underwear sexually arousing).

As I say, it shouldn't be happening.

NancyWake · 05/04/2017 11:24

I am 100% certain that the discomfort of male teachers is NOTHING to do with sexual interest and everything to do with it laying then open to malicious allegations if they challenge the girl on her inappropriate attire!

Really? Or is it just that as an adult you don't really want to see anyone's underwear.

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe · 05/04/2017 11:24

Because it is a law of nature that boys/men find womens bodies physically attractive. Women also towards men but to a much lesser extent

Lesser extent?

Yeah... You are delusional. Females are simply taught to keep their emotions (sexual or otherwise) acceptable (non-threatening/violent) and told that they're weak and hormonal if it somehow distracts them/keeps them from being productive?

Boys? no, with boys it's the "law of nature" and the girls distracting them... They aren't weak/silly/hormonal. No, they're simply having a "natural reaction".

ElisavetaFartsonira · 05/04/2017 11:25

Is OP coming back?

rosethyme · 05/04/2017 11:26

I think sometimes schools can make things worse. Once you make an issue of something it makes young girls and boys want to rebel. When i was at school we used to roll our skirts up as soon as we got outside, not to attract boys but just to be awkward. But now i'm older i do see the sense in having rules on what clothes are acceptable for school.

Trifleorbust · 05/04/2017 11:26

ElisavetaFartsonira:

I feel like we're going in circles here. I have explained why I don't think you are right but you are repeating your reasoning. That's fine, but I have nothing to add to mine so I will leave it there.

Porpoiselife · 05/04/2017 11:28

clarybeanhirshsndne

You must be right. Men don't find women's bodies physically attractive . How stupid of me to think that.

Trifleorbust · 05/04/2017 11:30

NancyWake:

I don't think I need to have a word with myself at all. I know I would always behave 100% professionally in any of these circumstances. But I can't blame people (even men) for feeling as I know many people feel (associating female nudity with sex), when their conduct itself is impeccable, and they have done everything to avoid the situation. I would always report it, because I know that is my job, but I can't honestly blame a male teacher who is caught off guard once in his career and loses his job as a result. The policy on uniform (and staff clothing) in a secondary school is there to avoid such incidents.

ElisavetaFartsonira · 05/04/2017 11:30

OK. But I'm going to continue to point out if you say things that are wrong trifle. Obviously you can either engage with that or not.

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 05/04/2017 11:31

If it wasn't provocative, the girls wouldn't bother doing it would they - unconsciously or otherwise?

What the fuck?

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe · 05/04/2017 11:31

porpoise

? That's not what I said.

BumWad · 05/04/2017 11:32

I used to work in a school uniform shop. I remember loads of teenage girls - 13, 14, 15 year olds begging their parents to let them buy grey pleated skirts that were for ages 6-7/ 7-8. They would buy the ones with elasticated waists.

Trifleorbust · 05/04/2017 11:33

ElisavetaFartsonira:

As you were, then.

ElisavetaFartsonira · 05/04/2017 11:33

You must be right. Men don't find women's bodies physically attractive . How stupid of me to think that.

You did say a wee bit more than that porpoise, in fairness...

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 05/04/2017 11:36

LaSegunda

At my daughter's school, skirts are supposed to reach the knee.

I very rarely wear skirts that reach my knees.

I like the way my clothes look.

Is the reason I do that in order to 'provoke'?

Porpoiselife · 05/04/2017 11:37

I disagree. That's exactly what I said elisaveta. You obviously think boys should not be physically attracted to girls who areblatently trying to attract them.

NancyWake · 05/04/2017 11:38

Trifle

As I have already said, it's not unexpected in a school to get a flash of underwear. Girls will walk through the school in games skirts, you can get a flash of knickers from that. Boys will walk around in football kit.
They might get changed in a classroom because they're late. They may get changed for after school activities, for drama etc. On a school trip children may change their clothes if they get hot, or they get soaking wet, swap with others etc.

A teacher has to expect that it may happen, not just in a changing room. And should be able to cope with it. A teacher should not be, what you inarticulately describe as:

"seeing something and applying the usual connotations of sexuality to it that he might do perfectly reasonably outside the classroom (for example, in a music video where no-one would question him finding an 18 year old dancer in her underwear sexually arousing)"

If he is applying sexuality to the classroom, he needs to leave.

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 05/04/2017 11:39

It is not 'exactly what you said'! You said it was the case and it was a 'law of nature' which applies much less to women!

NancyWake · 05/04/2017 11:40

I can't honestly blame a male teacher who is caught off guard once in his career and loses his job as a result

Caught off guard in what way? Who do you know who was 'caught off guard' only once and lost his job as a result?

itsmine · 05/04/2017 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NancyWake · 05/04/2017 11:42

It's concerning to me that you appear to work in a school Trifle and I hope you're not passing on this nonsense to your pupils.

Bananamanfan · 05/04/2017 11:43

That's setting the girls up for lifetime of policing their behaviour, while grown men just can't help, ogling, commenting, groping, raping. However, I do think school uniforms should be the same for all, i.e. white shirt, school jumper, grey trousers, black shoes