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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these women are arseholes?

482 replies

Flypaperforarseholes · 04/04/2017 03:35

Spent the weekend away with a group of women (most of whom I don't know) for a friend's birthday.
10 of us in total, 2 of whom (including the Laura, whose birthday we were celebrating) I have been friends with for 10+ years.
Shared a twin with Nora, on Sunday morning, before going to breakfast, we packed ready to check out. I then stripped the beds and collected the used towels together.
We went down for breakfast and Laura laughingly asked if I'd stripped the beds yet. It is a bit of a standing joke amongst us because it's something I've always done in hotels. One of the other women, Paula, asked what it was about and I explained. She was quite taken aback and asked why I felt the need to do it/don't I like to relax etc. She drew it to the attention of the whole group and took to calling me Mrs Mop for the rest of the day. A bit irritating but didn't bother me really.
This evening, a message from Paula came up in the watsapp group which had been set up at the planning stage of the trip.
"Thank you for a lovely weekend, girls. Laura, do give me flypaperforarseholes number, good help is so hard to come by these days. LOL!"
A few laughter emojis and "LOL"'s from some of the other women. Nothing from Paula or Nora yet.
Am I BU to think these women are arseholes?! It hasn't bothered me massively, in large part due to the fact that I found Paula a pretentious bore of a woman and thus give a minimum of fucks about what she thinks of me but I'm surprised that this such a small thing seems to have become quite the focal point for her. I'm assuming she doesn't realise I'm on the group chat because I haven't actually messaged on it. These women are school mum friends of Lauras and I don't want her to get caught in the middle so haven't replied...yet.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 04/04/2017 19:15

NavyandWhite:

If you were travelling with my DM she'd probably scrub the fridge and regrout the bathroom Grin

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OooohHorlicks · 04/04/2017 19:17

And Navy you don't see the irony in the snide comment you've just made?

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gandalf456 · 04/04/2017 19:20

Yes. It's beyond the call of duty, duty being putting your towels in the bath, rubbish in the bin and not leaving the place in a shithole.

I think stripping the bed with a guest present you do not know is a bit of a statement . It would make me feel as if that person were making a point that they were more helpful of domestic staff than I am and I would feel they were making me feel a bit of a twat for not following suit.

We're not there to assist domestic staff. We're there for a break. When I am at work, I expect to work, just as they do. It's nice when people help at my work (and i am in a public facing role) but it is not expected . I'm just happy for them to be polite and respectful to be honest

NotYoda · 04/04/2017 19:22

I think that it's really interesting that some of you seem to view that fact that some people do this as a criticism of people who don't, and hence the high level of emotion about it.

NotYoda · 04/04/2017 19:23

gandalf for example

You seem to be choosing to see it as a criticism of you

DontTouchTheMoustache · 04/04/2017 19:23

I have to say I can't abide a plate stacker, it makes me very on edge when someone in my group does it as it makes me feel guilty for not doing it myself. I get anxious when anyone does it because it makes me feel as though they think I'm rude for not doing it and it stops it from feeling like a twat out. Hard to explain really but it just gives me a massive anxiety spike when people do it and most people who do it won't stop if you ask them which makes it worse as it seems as though it's something that 'must' be done

DontTouchTheMoustache · 04/04/2017 19:24

*treat! Not twat. Blush

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotYoda · 04/04/2017 19:24

... no-one who does this (I don't, myself) sees it as obligatory for everyone to do, nor are they criticising others for not doing it.

But the other way round doesn't seem to apply. You seem to think it's OK for the OP to be criticised

NotYoda · 04/04/2017 19:25

Navy

Yes there is.

People are so defensive about what others choose to do.

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gandalf456 · 04/04/2017 19:28

There does seem to be a tone to op's posts that she's been a waitress, been a chambermaid so she has some kind of inverted superiority about her. Only she knows what it's like to do these jobs because she's down with the workers and the ones taking the piss were snobs who had no idea. I was mainly on op's side on this but the more I read, the more everyone is coming off badly in this

ilovepixie · 04/04/2017 19:31

I put used towels in the bath but I would never strip the bed in a hotel.

Glitterspy · 04/04/2017 19:34

Just returned to the thread after being at work. Glad to see the debates still raging and plenty more think like me, stripping beds in hotels is an odd thing to do.

Still those above probably expressed their points better. Still. Deeply deeply odd.

magoria · 04/04/2017 19:37

After the thread the other day where someone said they were told NOT to strip the bedding when making up a room after a guest of 1 night I am glad OP does pull them off!

Roussette · 04/04/2017 19:38

I might well do it in an AirBnB although I didn't the last one we stayed at.

It was expensive and there were so many hundreds of rules everywhere that I was frightened to do anything! (There was a timer on the shower that lasted about 2 minutes, and we had to carry a glass or a cup up the stairs in a bowl in case they dripped. I kid you not)

I digress.... there is something satisfying about leaving a hotel bed as it is becaue obv beds are made at home and I won't apologise for not stripping, cleaning etc. What's the point in paying £££ to stay away if you have to do housework?!

NotYoda · 04/04/2017 19:42

Glitter
Yes, It's a bit odd. But not wrong

I don't get the ire, I really don't

Lulabell1979 · 04/04/2017 19:45

Reply "Darling you couldn't afford me!"

Bythepowerof · 04/04/2017 19:49

Stripping the beds is odd and is plate stacking. And I find it a bit cringey.
But as another ex chambermaid I try leave a tip in the room.

user1489179512 · 04/04/2017 21:34

Why do people pretend that doing something as cringeworthy as actually doing the chambermaid's job for her is normal hotel guest behaviour? It is not.
You are PAYING for the experience fgs - you don't have to help out.
All I can say is most of the helper types have not often stayed in hotels.

user1489179512 · 04/04/2017 21:38

As for plate scraping and stacking - that is just awful. Even at home plates should be removed from the table just as they are.

user1489179512 · 04/04/2017 21:39

Even at home, plates...

paddypants13 · 04/04/2017 21:42

Just ignore her op, you probably won't see her for a couple of years anyway.

I strip the bed hotels unless I'm in a massive rush. It takes me two seconds and if it helps the cleaner what's the issue?