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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think these women are arseholes?

482 replies

Flypaperforarseholes · 04/04/2017 03:35

Spent the weekend away with a group of women (most of whom I don't know) for a friend's birthday.
10 of us in total, 2 of whom (including the Laura, whose birthday we were celebrating) I have been friends with for 10+ years.
Shared a twin with Nora, on Sunday morning, before going to breakfast, we packed ready to check out. I then stripped the beds and collected the used towels together.
We went down for breakfast and Laura laughingly asked if I'd stripped the beds yet. It is a bit of a standing joke amongst us because it's something I've always done in hotels. One of the other women, Paula, asked what it was about and I explained. She was quite taken aback and asked why I felt the need to do it/don't I like to relax etc. She drew it to the attention of the whole group and took to calling me Mrs Mop for the rest of the day. A bit irritating but didn't bother me really.
This evening, a message from Paula came up in the watsapp group which had been set up at the planning stage of the trip.
"Thank you for a lovely weekend, girls. Laura, do give me flypaperforarseholes number, good help is so hard to come by these days. LOL!"
A few laughter emojis and "LOL"'s from some of the other women. Nothing from Paula or Nora yet.
Am I BU to think these women are arseholes?! It hasn't bothered me massively, in large part due to the fact that I found Paula a pretentious bore of a woman and thus give a minimum of fucks about what she thinks of me but I'm surprised that this such a small thing seems to have become quite the focal point for her. I'm assuming she doesn't realise I'm on the group chat because I haven't actually messaged on it. These women are school mum friends of Lauras and I don't want her to get caught in the middle so haven't replied...yet.

OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 04/04/2017 11:18

It's not disrespectful to do part of a chambermaid's job, it speeds things up for them. It would be disrespectful to wait for them to arrive to do the room, seize the clean sheets from them and remake the beds whilst shouting 'I'll do it, you'll only get it wrong!'

Oh, bollox! I promise not to do that again Thora

Re: plate stacking - I do tend to do it (not in posh places) because if everyone has finished eating and is waiting for a chance to order coffee, I HATE sitting at a table full of dirty plates!

floraeasy · 04/04/2017 11:22

We went down for breakfast and Laura laughingly asked if I'd stripped the beds yet. It is a bit of a standing joke amongst us because it's something I've always done in hotels

Paula just wanted to join in and be part of the ribbing, to feel included in the group.

She has taken it too far and doesn't know when to stop. Maybe a bit socially awkward in her efforts to join in?

It will blow over soon enough. Least said, soonest mended sort of thing.

Unless you have other reasons for thinking Paula might want to upset you, best to just deal with the facts as they stand. Paula saw people teasing you and thought she could join in and be one of the gang too.

ohtheholidays · 04/04/2017 11:23

They don't really know you well enough to know weather them ribbing you would be okay or not,they sound a bit unaware and that's never a good thing.

It's good your friends had a word and for what it's worth I've stripped the beds before,I always sort the bins and put all the towels in the bath tub and I leave a tip for whoever cleans our rooms,I usually hand it to the person rather than leave it in the room to make sure it goes into the right hands,I also would never leave a mess in a restuarant and I've never been a waitress or a chambermaid.

I've just always thought it was the polite thing to do and everywhere I've done that I've always been thanked and several times(in a restaurant)Ive heard the staff mention the awful mess that's been left by others that or they've nodded at me towards the table that's been left in a state and rolled they're eyes.

SapphireStrange · 04/04/2017 11:23

Paula sounds like a bore.

KurriKurri · 04/04/2017 11:25

I'd reply something like 'do you not have time to clean your own house because you are so busy licking the arses of your husbands's z-list clientele ?'

But then I'm horrid Grin

PollyPerky · 04/04/2017 11:27

If you're paying £150-£200 a night in a hotel (which is the going rate for many) it's not your 'job' to do housework- which is what stripping beds amounts to.

I don't pay good money to then have to roll up my sleeves and start grappling with a king size (or bigger) duvet cover before vacating the room.

I think we should all treat everyone well- even the 'little people' in organisations. But that doesn't amount to doing half their job for them, when you have paid for the service.

I turn the covers back so the bed airs, make sure the room is clean , the loo is clean, put used towels in the bath ( normal etiquette) and any rubbish is in the bin.

I once left behind an expensive article of clothing in a bathroom of a 5* hotel and it wasn't handed in. I assume the chambermaids took it.

This is not to say all chambermaids are dishonest, but I'm jolly glad I didn't strip the bed then.

LyndaLaHughes · 04/04/2017 11:29

Paula sounds insecure and one of those people who likes to subtly put others down to make herself feel better. The not so subtle boasting suggests the same. The best things you can do is ignore her. She's clearly got issues if she thinks that's a nice way to carry on.

Goldfishjane · 04/04/2017 11:30

I thought Tony meant Paula was clueless, not you OP. I might have misundersttod.

I can't imagine being able to pay £150 a night at a hotel but I'd still strip the bed if I thought it would help the maid.

gingina · 04/04/2017 11:31

@pollyperky
It's not your job, no. But it's taking a few seconds out of your day to help someone who is doing a shit job, for shit money and only ever sees the inside of a hotel room to clean it and probably works for a week to earn the cost of one night in the hotel.
And don't assume the chambermaids took the dress .. they could have handed it to the supervisor, put it in lost property and anybody could have had it.

LaContessaDiPlump · 04/04/2017 11:34

I deliberately ignore her though Cardinal, and don't rise to it.

Maybe she just enjoys the feeling that she MIGHT be bothering me. IDK. She's weird!!

MrsMarigold · 04/04/2017 11:35

So much over-analysis on this thread, it wouldn't even occur to me to be offended, I'd just reply that Paula could never afford my services, add a few winks and leave it at that.

FWIW I once was called Mrs Mop when I was 18, I went home with a bloke at university, he had had a fit and I felt I couldn't leave him alone until I was 100% sure he was OK, so while he slept, I cleaned and tidied his room.

Flypaperforarseholes · 04/04/2017 11:39

The message Laura has just sent to the watsapp group :

Morning ladies. I've just spoken to Paula about the weekend and the subsequent group chat and wanted to let you all know that the comments made about one of my oldest,dearest friends have marred my birthday celebrations somewhat.
I'm aware not all of you have been a part of this and may be unaware of what has happened but so that the is no confusion,I want to let you all know that I don't find the comments made about flypaper amusing. Hearing what some of you have said has altered my opinion of you. If you have judged flypaper negatively because she stripped the hotel bed, doesn't have designer luggage and chats to people you seem to think are below you then YOU are the embarrassing one.
Oh, and my LV bag is fake. I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than spend thousands on a fucking handbag. Mwah.

I fucking love her GrinGrinGrin
I'll never stop stripping hotel beds. I'll never give a shit about how much someone's car costs or which Hollyoaks cast member is having which cosmetic enhancement. I might stop stacking plates.
I'll always have fantastic friends Grin

OP posts:
Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 11:40

Pollyperky your use of the term little people albeit in inverted commas (whom are you quoting, don't think it's anyone on this thread) and your ready assumption that it was the chambermaid who made off with it is truly upsetting.

PollyPerky · 04/04/2017 11:42

gingina It takes more than a few seconds to take off a king or super king duvet cover, 4 pillow slips and maybe 2 sheets.
Many people using hotels are off to a meeting, or have a tight schedule if on holiday. The last thing they want to do is faff around with bedding FGS!

If you apply your principle of 'helping people who earn the minimum wage do their job' where on earth would it stop?

I'm paying hard earned money for not having to do everyday chores. It's a break for most people not to have to do this stuff.

And it wasn't a dress I left behind. Many phone calls and letters to the hotel manager drew a blank.

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 11:43

I'm not surprised you love her Flypaper

If it truly is woeful snobbery on their part then I retract my earlier comment and see your arseholes and raise you pointless besoms!

PollyPerky · 04/04/2017 11:44

Ah diddums Edballs . Are ou always so easily offended?

'Little people' is a well known phrase and it's not offensive. It's to distinguish people who are not CEOs etc.

The chambermaid would have been the first person in the room, I contacted the hotel soon after I left. Who knows- but it was never found.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 11:44

Navy the record shows I have been with you on this thread...but how so

I find that response from Laura odd to say the least

FucksSakeSusan · 04/04/2017 11:45

Why on earth do people do the jobs that they are paying for? When you stay at a hotel you're paying for the bed to be stripped by someone else. When you're at a restaurant you're paying for someone to clear the plates.

Also seems really martyrish to me. I suspect there's a class divide in here too (FWIW I worked as a chambermaid and waitress as a student and don't do either of these things. You're paying for a service!).

I would be embarrassed if someone in my party did this BUT I wouldn't comment or make comments about it. That woman is out of line and not your friend!

Roussette · 04/04/2017 11:46

I've waited tables and been a chambermaid and really wouldn't want anyone to strip beds or scrape plates because it would have totally put me off my stride. And I would be puzzled as to why! When I was a chambermaid, I had a routine of how I did things and that would have upset my rhythm.

So I'm a non stripper Grin

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moussemoose · 04/04/2017 11:48

PollyPerky

'Little people' is not offensive!
Well you won't be upset when I say you seem to be one of life's emotionally 'little people'.
Helping others fgs I haven't got time for that.

Laura BTW is aceGrin

LaContessaDiPlump · 04/04/2017 11:50

Not everyone's got balls as big as you, clearly, Navy.....

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 11:50

Thanks for your reply Polly which kind of makes my point for me. I am well aware of the term, I am familiar with its context and I am well aware how offensive it is, even when it is hiding behind inverted commas.

Obviously nobody knows what happened to your dress, but even if it was expensive I doubt that it was of greater value than the chambermaid's job. It would never occur to me to suspect a chambermaid of theft. But hey, that's me, diddums.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 11:52

Sorry, just realised it wasn't a dress, it was an article of clothing. OBVIOUSLY the chambermaid's doing the, What was I THINKING????