To think these women are arseholes?

[Flypaperforarseholes]

Spent the weekend away with a group of women (most of whom I don't know) for a friend's birthday.
10 of us in total, 2 of whom (including the Laura, whose birthday we were celebrating) I have been friends with for 10+ years.
Shared a twin with Nora, on Sunday morning, before going to breakfast, we packed ready to check out. I then stripped the beds and collected the used towels together.
We went down for breakfast and Laura laughingly asked if I'd stripped the beds yet. It is a bit of a standing joke amongst us because it's something I've always done in hotels. One of the other women, Paula, asked what it was about and I explained. She was quite taken aback and asked why I felt the need to do it/don't I like to relax etc. She drew it to the attention of the whole group and took to calling me Mrs Mop for the rest of the day. A bit irritating but didn't bother me really.
This evening, a message from Paula came up in the watsapp group which had been set up at the planning stage of the trip.
"Thank you for a lovely weekend, girls. Laura, do give me flypaperforarseholes number, good help is so hard to come by these days. LOL!"
A few laughter emojis and "LOL"'s from some of the other women. Nothing from Paula or Nora yet.
Am I BU to think these women are arseholes?! It hasn't bothered me massively, in large part due to the fact that I found Paula a pretentious bore of a woman and thus give a minimum of fucks about what she thinks of me but I'm surprised that this such a small thing seems to have become quite the focal point for her. I'm assuming she doesn't realise I'm on the group chat because I haven't actually messaged on it. These women are school mum friends of Lauras and I don't want her to get caught in the middle so haven't replied...yet.

why the hell did she not shut them up at the weekend?

Because they didn't make the comments in front of her., other members of the group told her afterwards.

Further to your update, OP, I am not sure how this particular group of 10 women came together for a weekend, but if you don't get along, I am guessing you never have to see them again. Stick to your amazing friends and ignore the rest

I rather think that Laura's response was giving the whole situation far more attention than it deserved. A bit dramatic, IMO.

But I am glad you are happy with the outcome and the way Laura handled it. We are all different and that's why we can't expect to get along with everyone.

I'd probably do the awkward silence and turn the subject thing, Navy - believe it or not that is a fairly normal way to behave in public when you're reluctant to make a scene. However, I imagine you don't mind much about scenes. I get the impression the OP wouldn't have enjoyed a public scene and would have felt responsible for ruining the occasion, even though she didn't.

NavyandWhite
Yes, she has chosen me, an old friend who has shared many, many ups and downs with her, over a few women who have questionable views and priorities. It's called loyalty
She didn't "shut them up at tge weekend" because at that point, the remarks that we were aware of were trested as an attempt at humour and although a bit , we're not taken by us to be deliberately offensive.

yes but what was Paula's reaction when Laura spoke to her?

And has Laura now got a situation with her school mum frenemies as a result?

It's a kind of othering isn't it? Some people think the people who clear up after them are house elves or something, some people realise they are real people.

I picked DS up from his university halls flat once and they had had their Christmas party the night before. The kitchen/living room was absolutely wrecked, piled high with bottles and cans and most of the flat had simply gone home for the holidays saying the cleaner could deal with it.

I announced to the remaining ones that the cleaner was not paid enough to deal with this kind of shit and set them all to work with black bags until we reduced the chaos to normal levels of student mess. I was actually quite shocked by how entitled some of those brats were.

Now I'm wondering if they eyerolled later about DS's Mrs Mop mum.

I scrape food onto one plate and stack them ready for removal to the kitchen

Right, well you need to stop that straight away, it's disgusting and very bad form. In your own home, clearing the plates of your children, maybe, but in a restaurant? Yuk.

If you were eating with me I'd think it the height of bad manners to scrape all our collective leftovers into one homogenous slop in full view of me and other diners and any waiting staff that did that in front of me would feel the force of my wrath.

I got intrigued about whether it was etiquette that I should do this when I leave a hotel or not. I currently don't. I found this on Quora:-

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Michael Forrest Jones, Beechmont Hotels Corporation
Updated 11 Jan 2016

It's thoughtful and we really should be more grateful but believe it or not, it actually makes very little difference.

Of course, we'd rather have you as a guest than a rock band or someone throwing a wild party (or even just two or three nasty people, if they're really nasty people) that leaves the room completely trashed. But we allocate a half hour to clean a standard hotel room after a guest checks out, so we must figure the cost of that half hour into it; and that'll never change.

Part of it is that 99.9999% of people will just not tidy up behind themselves enough so that we can ever, ever count upon a reduction in that. But ultimately, it's because we still have to strip the sheets and change the beds, vacuum, and go over all the surfaces - especially in the bath - with disinfectant cleaner, and those three tasks alone take up most of the time involved, no matter how you tidy up behind yourself.

By the time we can even start on those three tasks, we've gotten any other cleaning and tidying done that needs doing (and wiped out the efforts of a guest like yourself who went to the bother of tidying up after themselves), unless the room was in really bad shape - either trashed by people to whom I'm going to never rent a room there again, or has been 'lived in' for a couple months or more.

(Extended-stay guests, and even SRO's, are nice if you can get a good rate for them and your cost of having them stays below the daily rate you're getting; but any time a guests lives in a room for that much time, you can count on having to deep clean it when they finally do leave. It's something that needs doing every three months or so anyway; and if a guest was in it the last time it needed doing, well . . . it didn't get done last time.)

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Seems I don't have to feel guilty about not bothering. Not that I get to stay in hotels a lot these days anyway

I do hope you speak the whole truth Tinkly when you say

set them all to work with black bags

and didn't do any part of it yourself. Alas, I am afeared that the use of 'we' suggests otherwise!!

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap
Now I love Laura too and wish she was my friend

I have to say that's what won me over too gingina

I'm not as classy as I look, alas (and I look ROUGH al lot of the time)

OP, you and Laura are my kind of women!

I really don't understand anyone going so far as to state on here that your behaviour was odd or weird. Are people's lives really so small?! Personally, I think it's weird to be a serial killer. Stripping a couple of beds to help someone out is nice! Not doing so, in a hotel, is fair enough. There was no need for them to say anything.

As for calling you Mrs Mop and using the phrase, 'good help' in that way... Wow!

Put together, I think the word 'arsehole' is probably quite appropriate.

Ed I took a supervisory rather than a handson role

Tinkly I do hope so.

Calling someone Mrs Mop is shitty, so was the text.

Personally I don't think I'd want to see the hotel mattress though. Especially After I's slept there...

I announced to the remaining ones that the cleaner was not paid enough to deal with this kind of shit and set them all to work with black bags until we reduced the chaos to normal levels of student mess. I was actually quite shocked by how entitled some of those brats were.
That doesn't surprise me. I'm a university lecturer and we are often spoken to by students as if we were their servants, so I dread to think what the cleaners have to put up with. The last head of security at my university, who was ex-army, resigned because she was "sick of dealing with entitled brats".

I'd probably do the awkward silence and turn the subject thing, Navy - believe it or not that is a fairly normal way to behave in public when you're reluctant to make a scene. However, I imagine you don't mind much about scenes. I get the impression the OP wouldn't have enjoyed a public scene and would have felt responsible for ruining the occasion, even though she didn't.

Exactly this. I was at a dinner party where another guest out of the blue piped up 'you're quite small aren't you does that make you a dwarf?!' and started cackling. Awkward silence from everyone else. I smiled and said 'no it doesn't'. Host changed the subject and although we've been invited back many times over the years this other couple have been dropped. I could have said many things in retaliation given she was max only a couple of inches taller than me (and very overweight so looked huge next to me). But what an incredibly uncouth and stupid woman. I wouldn't have dreamed of making a scene and ruining it for the hosts.

People seem to lack the most basic social skills these days.

As far as Laura is aware, the women making remarks were Paula and two others. The rest of the group don't seem to have had anything to do with it.
Laura didn't mention how Paula reacted to being confronted and I didn't ask.
Navy she didn't berate me, the comments made in front of us were excused as "banter" (although I hate that term as seems some people use it as an excuse to be a wanker).

Always strip the bed if away on a holiday break, if working away I don't like to mess up suit by doing it (and am usually running late). Am an ex chambermaid and its nice not to have to strip all 50 beds.

"Banter" is basically bullying with the added proviso that you're not allowed to object to it.

Laura won't min a school mum "frenemy" situation, she's a feisty little fecker when she's got the bit between her teeth Might be worth pointing out that while those women were bitching about me, they indirectly doing it to Laura, too. We have very similar backgrounds and worked together as chambermaids,waitresses and bar staff.
Still haven't had anyone explain to me why my stripping a hotel bed would irritate them...