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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I treating my son like a slave?

154 replies

ViolentDelights · 02/04/2017 20:06

Because he seems to think so. Hmm He's 6 and a half.

Today I have asked him to do the following; - tidy the toys away in the playroom before getting arts and crafts stuff out,

  • clear the table after each meal (just taking plates into the kitchen - I do the washing up myself),
  • quick hoover of the playroom and living room (they're inter-connected and not that big, and I don't expect him to do under furniture - just what's visible).
  • put his own pile of clean, folded washing away,
  • do a final quick tidy of the playroom before bed.

As a result I have been subjected to a screaming tantrum everytime I've asked him to do something. He has had plenty of play time and active outdoor time inbetween each chore but because his 2 year old sister doesn't have to put her own clothes away (yet) I'm apparently akin to a slave driver. Aibu?

OP posts:
Expatosaurus · 02/04/2017 20:30

My DS does all of that except tidy the toys away. 4 year old puts away socks and underwear. I do the folded clothes. 50:50 chance of her tidying toys away. She's just started asking if she can do the hoovering too. Seems reasonable to me. DD will also sort and pair the socks for a star.

firawla · 02/04/2017 20:31

My kids all put away laundry (5-8 year old ones, not the baby) so I think that's fine for age 6. Maybe the hoovering is a bit much if he has to do it often but I think my eldest ran the hoover around the odd time at that age and quite liked it!

Mysterycat23 · 02/04/2017 20:31

I'm happy if DH does this much on a Saturday Grin

lalaloopyhead · 02/04/2017 20:31

I think putting toys away in playroom before getting more stuff out is fine, also clearing his plate etc in the kitchen after a meal. I think hoovering is a bit much for that age as a regular chore, also tidying the playroom every evening before bed unless its bits he has left out obviously. I am all for encouraging independence and responsibility but that all sounds a wee bit regimented for a six year old.

Oswin · 02/04/2017 20:32

Why shouldn't he put his own clothes away?

MrsHarveySpecterV · 02/04/2017 20:33

I think that's a lot for a six year old.

Beeziekn33ze · 02/04/2017 20:33

Maybe put the hoovering and putting laundry away on to the extra pocket money list would help.

ApplePaltrow21 · 02/04/2017 20:33

you sound way too reasonable to be on AIBU. Have you considered calling us all bitches and flouncing?

AndKnowItsSeven · 02/04/2017 20:34

Trifle not incapable at my six year old would be capable. I wouldn't expect her to hoover or put away her laundry though. She tidies up her own toys in her room and playroom, picks her own clothes out of wardrobe on non school days and dresses herself. Rae her plate and cup into the kitchen.
I feel that's enough at age six.

Swatsup · 02/04/2017 20:34

My kids don't do much but they think being allowed to hoover (with a lightweight handheld Dyson) is the best game ever.

Original poster
ViolentDelights · 02/04/2017 20:35

Just to be clear, this isn't a regimented thing. These are just jobs that needed doing today, I wouldn't expect or ask him to do all of this every day. Tidying up after himself is all that is expected everyday.

OP posts:
AndKnowItsSeven · 02/04/2017 20:35

*at least my

pianomadness · 02/04/2017 20:36

Ds is 6. I don't think he could physically push a Hoover round!

I wouldn't give him laundry to put away mainly because he would probably just throw it in the direction of the wardrobe/drawers and my ironing/folding would be a waste. He wouldn't care but I would!

He does everything else though - tidying up toys, items used into the dishwasher etc. but only things that are related to him and any mess he's created.

notgivingin789 · 02/04/2017 20:36

Snap swap my DS loves having a go with the hoover.

mumeeee · 02/04/2017 20:36

That does seem a bit much for a 6 year old to do. At 6 my children would never have been able to hoover and I wouldn't have expected them to do it

fuzzywuzzy · 02/04/2017 20:37

I have pretty much always got everyone to put away their own laundry away, I used to sort clothes in piles and leave their piles in their room and they put it away themselves.

Not an everyday thing, maybe once every couple of days.

DaisyBlameless · 02/04/2017 20:37

I think it's too much.

OreoDream · 02/04/2017 20:37

you sound way too reasonable to be on AIBU. Have you considered calling us all bitches and flouncing?

GrinGrinGrin

I don't think it's a big deal OP, just on balance I think most of us think it's a little much? I doubt he will remember when older though!

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/04/2017 20:38

My dd is not very good at hoovering yet and would struggle. She's 8. She helps me to put her laundry away if she's around. She will tidy stuff away of course, which is reasonable for a 6 or 8 yr old. She says the same stuff to me about being a slave.

e1y1 · 02/04/2017 20:40

Personally, I think that is FAR too much for a 6-year-old, he has been at school a year.

Not saying kids shouldn't have chores, of course, it's a great life skill but they're only kids once.

Using a hoover isn't a 6yo's job.

PussCatTheGoldfish · 02/04/2017 20:40

My DD1 used to love a go with the hoover. I used to give her £1 to do the front room at 6. It went down to 50p though because she wanted to do it all the time!

The other stuff, and i mean all of it, would take her so long that I may as well do it myself. She's very easily distracted.

topcat2014 · 02/04/2017 20:41

I know this is going against prevailing thread, and not necessarily how I am bringing up DC, but I didn't do any housework of any kind until leaving for university, and then not much.

Sure, I would have had the odd 'go' with the hoover, but just for novelty value.

So, at six, I think you are possibly asking a bit too much OP.

(I have a friend who treats his older DC, when they see him EOW, as mini skivies, - they don't come that much.)

Original poster
ViolentDelights · 02/04/2017 20:41

Hoover is a little henry btw.

Another one I've thought of to put to you all - One of the jobs I had at around that age was changing all the bed covers - including mum's massive (to me anyway) double duvet. When I change the bedding now I ask ds to do the pillow cases if he's hanging around looking bored and jumping on the bed as I'm trying to make it. Is that too much? He normally gets one done by the time I've finished the whole bed but I always thought it was just good practice. Doubting myself now.

OP posts:
Bluetrews25 · 02/04/2017 20:42

I wish I'd got my DCs to do this from an early age! DCs will probably learn to do what you teach them - it's not difficult or dangerous to vac up - not like you are asking him to chop carrots unsupervised with a super sharp knife.
Your future DIL will thank you for it!

mellicauli · 02/04/2017 20:42

poor guy..think he's done more than me today..

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