Having food/drink policed whilst pregnant

[ForTheSakeOfFuck]

About three weeks ago, buying a full English takeout for OH...
Cook: "How do you want your eggs?"
Me: "Runny please."
Cook: "Ooooh... you know you shouldn't have runny eggs whilst pregnant. I'll fry it till it's hard." vanishes back into kitchen before I can stop her

Last week, in a pub garden with me, SIL, and OH...
Waiting staff: "What drinks do you want?"
Me: "Two white wines and a coke please."
waiting person returns with drinks
Waiting staff, trying to figure out who to give the drinks to, obviously concludes the wines are for me and SIL: "Ummm... did you want something else? I mean because... you know..."
Me: slightly confused stare since I hadn't twigged yet
Waiting staff: "Is the wine for you?"
Me: "No. It's for MIL else who's arriving imminently. I have a bottle of water in my bag."
Waiting staff: "Oh phew! For a minute there I thought you were going to drink whilst pregnant!" chuckles her way back inside

Today, in Spar, buying my lunch, along with three high-protein peanut bar snack things which actually, for once, are for me, and I've checked with the obstetrician that it's okay for me to eat these since I'm otherwise low on protein in my diet...
Checkout woman, looking at me, very deliberately at my bump, and then at the nutritional content on the bars, literally reading the guidance on there: "Are you allowed to eat these?? I don't think these are okay during pregnancy."
Me in a pretty flat, unimpressed voice: "Are you an obstetrician?"
Checkout woman: "... A what?"
Me: "A specialist in fetal development."
Checkout woman: "... Er... no...?"
awkward silence whilst she scans, I pay, and leave

Sat here, now, chomping on a maple and peanut bar, I feel like a bit of an arsehole in retrospect. So... WIBU to get a bit shirty with the checkout woman?

grumpysquirrel that is really interesting... to think you learn something new every day! I might have to purchase that book. I bought 'what to expect...' And to be honest I find the tone of it to be very patronising with a completely unnecessary pun in every sentence!

Oh god. Wholefood's cheese cave. If I had been a pharaoh it would have been my ultimate burial chamber.

Damn. One of my friends is newly pg and loves her coffee. In an attempt to soften the blow i bought her some really good decaf coffee beans. Now I think maybe i shouldn't send them to her in case I'm being judgy.

Liz Best way to approach it is to ask if she's gone off coffee as that's really common in pregnancy. That might naturally lead onto her saying no but she's cut down, which gives you the perfect opening. If she doesn't volunteer that, though, then best to wait till/if she does.

It really depends on your friendship though. If you're really good friends and she knows you are looking out for her, it's not likely to come across anything like the smug 17yo Starbucks barista refusing to hand over a latte.

"I wonder if there's been any work done on links between taste/smell aversion in pregnancy and harmful foods? Would be interesting." Yes there has.

There are several studies that show that even moderate consumption of alcohol/caffeine can increase the risk of mc, prem or stillbirth. One major study is one that RCOG.
Refers to.

As for 'why do these people feel the need to say something' personally because I wouldn't want others to experience mc (as I have) or premature or stillbirth potentially as a result of consuming items pregnant women are advised to avoid as several friends have.

Some of you have said you struggled to get pregnant in the first place - so yes it's beyond me why you would risk losing that child, your own health or the child having ill health as a result.

As for 'well back in the day...' Back in the day there WERE more mc, prem births, stillbirths, health of mother and baby affected - why do you think you are advised to avoid/be careful with these items? For shits and giggles? It doesn't benefit the PROFESSIONALS who have the training and education to PROPERLY assess the research they're trying to prevent heartache and suffering that they will have seen repeatedly. Also 'back in the day' as we know many conditions especially learning disabilities simply weren't recognised or diagnosed and if they were, were sometimes attributed to other now known to be innocent causes.

Back in the day pregnant women were told:
To wear corsets
Smoke
Take chloroform/morphine/arsenic
Drink LOTS of alcohol
Eat liver
At different points - to eat for 2/diet

All things we know now are harmful but at the time were considered actually a GOOD idea and even when the research began to show these were dangerous people dismissed that knowledge.

And I notice in these MANY pages only ONE source has been quoted to rebut the huge amount of research done over DECADES.

There are several studies that show that even moderate consumption of alcohol/caffeine can increase the risk of mc, prem or stillbirth. One major study is one that RCOG. Refers to.

What is meant by "moderate"? What does that translate to in actual mg of caffeine or units of alcohol?

Zero alcohol beer because it's been de-alcoholised so had alcohol in once.
The amount in the brand I was drinking was below (it's a legal requirement to state this and there is even less) 0.05%. I then had to explain to a tipsy busy body what the 0.0 part of 0.05% indicated.

In case anyone wants to weigh in with "yeah but..." I was told I could have it by my ob who us pretty senior in Lesley Regan's team. She's one of the "big 2" names in pregnancy safety. Literally wrote the book.

50mg-3mg caffeine per day

1/2-2 units alcohol.

This is actually the whole point of the Expecting Better book. She goes back to the raw data and setup of the studies (she's an economics PhD) to debunk some of these widely believed conclusions. Data that is properly controlled and unbiased is v hard to get. Anyway my copy is arriving tomorrow (I've read the intro on kindle sample) and looking forward to learning more. All these people who vehemently cite studies...

*50mg-3mg caffeine per day

1/2-2 units alcohol.*

Er… you mean 50-300mg? And 1/2-2 units of alcohol per day?

Just want to be absolutely clear before I respond.

I think there's a study that shows a link between policing pregnant women's bodies and being a dickhead.

Graphista but not low consumption. I've had many miscarriages, and read many studies and all the respected books.
If St Marys (specialist miscarriage unit for the highest risk cases) say I am allowed 1 cup of real coffee or 2 cups of instant per day, I trust them more than you.

I spend 9 months saying DO YOU KNOW MY MEDICAL HISTORY YOU OBLIVIOUS C U N T ... AND MORE TO THE POINT DO YOU KNOW WHO TOLD ME I AM ALLOWED!?! THE MISCARRIAGE POLICE .... AS ING THE REAL DEAL, NOT YOU!

Although I have just recalled my number 1. A junior pharmacist who would not give me my aspirin and Clexane because "the dr must be mistaken ... these cannot be given to a pregnant woman." I was like "Well if you don't give them to me, I won't be pregnant tomorrow. And you won't be a pharmacist much longer (writing down their name)." Their boss came out thankfully and was about as shocked as me.

If you mean a half to 2 units of alcohol per day then why is the advice now apparently no alcohol ever in the whole 40 weeks?

There's a hell of a difference there.

No women are meant to have more than 2 units per day, pregnant or not. So that's obvious.

I do believe you're right grumpysquirrel!

Not mg 300mg

The 2 major studies on this one has concluded each extra 50mg of caffeine increases risk of mc other says each extra 10mg

Plus people consume things they don't realise have caffeine in so underestimate how much they are consuming. So when asked to keep detailed food diaries women who THOUGHT they were under the recommended 200mg maximum were often way over.

Eg decaffeinated items, root beer, some fruit fizzies, (not just Coke), some vitamin supplements, some painkillers (not always made clear), flavoured waters, some fortified seeds, some fortified cereals (not just choc ones), some deli meats...

..
Ugh posted early.
Obviously risky if someone just didn't cut down AT ALL.
Alcohol is the one thing I did not touch or want. Fake beer socially as I never strayed above my medical advised limit for caffeine and didn't want to waste it on cola.

Could you clarify how often you're referring to consumption of 1-2 units of alcohol? Daily, weekly, monthly?

Argh typos! One study says each 50mg one says each 100mg

The alcohol is no more than that in one day but is not meaning consume alcohol daily.

What deli meats have caffeine in? Pleas specify.

glueandstick

Squizita coffee is used as a curing agent for some. Certain brands of ham, often used in jerky.

Are you in America? "Root beer" - in the uk people don't drink that.

Also more meats are permitted as our commercial food hygiene standards are higher.

Root beer is available here in uk lots of towns now have shops selling American stuff and in international part of supermarkets.

Meats I was referring to it wasn't about food bacteria it was caffeine content.