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Original poster

Having food/drink policed whilst pregnant

438 replies

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 02/04/2017 11:10

About three weeks ago, buying a full English takeout for OH...
Cook: "How do you want your eggs?"
Me: "Runny please."
Cook: "Ooooh... you know you shouldn't have runny eggs whilst pregnant. I'll fry it till it's hard." vanishes back into kitchen before I can stop her

Last week, in a pub garden with me, SIL, and OH...
Waiting staff: "What drinks do you want?"
Me: "Two white wines and a coke please."
waiting person returns with drinks
Waiting staff, trying to figure out who to give the drinks to, obviously concludes the wines are for me and SIL: "Ummm... did you want something else? I mean because... you know..."
Me: slightly confused stare since I hadn't twigged yet
Waiting staff: "Is the wine for you?"
Me: "No. It's for MIL else who's arriving imminently. I have a bottle of water in my bag."
Waiting staff: "Oh phew! For a minute there I thought you were going to drink whilst pregnant!" chuckles her way back inside

Today, in Spar, buying my lunch, along with three high-protein peanut bar snack things which actually, for once, are for me, and I've checked with the obstetrician that it's okay for me to eat these since I'm otherwise low on protein in my diet...
Checkout woman, looking at me, very deliberately at my bump, and then at the nutritional content on the bars, literally reading the guidance on there: "Are you allowed to eat these?? I don't think these are okay during pregnancy."
Me in a pretty flat, unimpressed voice: "Are you an obstetrician?"
Checkout woman: "... A what?"
Me: "A specialist in fetal development."
Checkout woman: "... Er... no...?"
awkward silence whilst she scans, I pay, and leave

Sat here, now, chomping on a maple and peanut bar, I feel like a bit of an arsehole in retrospect. So... WIBU to get a bit shirty with the checkout woman?

OP posts:
Botanicbaby · 04/04/2017 14:26

*Roomster101

"She wouldn't be "kind and helpful" towards an obese person who was buying unhealthy food though or a (non-pregnant) person buying cigarettes or alcohol though would she? So why is it okay for non healthcare professionals to give pregnant women advice they haven't asked for?"*

No, that's a good point, however, I didn't say that it was okay for anyone (healthcare professional or not) to give advice (asked for or not) to anyone (pregnant or not) either. More that the OPs reaction was, in my opinion, disproportionate in response to the checkout staff and needlessly condescending too.

Greyponcho · 04/04/2017 14:33

Your judgy pants hoiking over a single little glass of vino is still making no logical sense at all.
See you're missing the point that alcohol is not comparable to cake in terms of risk to an unborn child, but as I said, each to their own.

ElisavetaFartsonira · 04/04/2017 14:40

Is it not? What's the documented risk of a glass of wine, then? I presume you've done some research, if you're concerned enough to ask why women need to drink it? I would like to understand your perspective.

treaclesoda · 04/04/2017 14:42

But what is the risk of a very small amount of alcohol?

kikibo · 04/04/2017 14:43

Ugh, I remember reading up on this alcohol thing and the conclusion was that no-one has ever researched the effects of non-excessive alcohol use in pregnancy due to ethics. Indeed what study could tell a bunch of pregnant women to drink, say, half a bottle of vodka every day, another bunch to drink only one glass a day and yet another nothing, merely to see what the effects were? So, instead of saying 'FAS has been detected in babies born to women with excessive alcohol use/abuse in pregnancy' they go 'don't drink at all' without really telling anyone they really don't know what amount is safe exactly. The truth probably even differs from person to person, I'd say. So it's all nonsense really.

I do enjoy a French-size glass of wine (10 cl) or a glass of light Belgian beer on occasion. It won't do any harm and it's good for brain development too.

Considering that, re the 70s thread, practically all mothers seem to have been advised to drink half a pint of Guinness a day (!) back then, we can't argue all babies were born with FAS, can we, so stop telling pregnant women off for this.

Re the caffeine: you should drink more than 2 cups a day in order to have a somewhat increased risk of miscarriage. Why people tend to think no pregnant woman is now allowed any caffeine at all is a complete mystery to me.

glueandstick · 04/04/2017 14:43

Perhaps we should ban mouthwash whilst we're at it. Or deodorant.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/04/2017 14:43

See you're missing the point

No, you are missing the point. It is fine in your eyes for people to take risks that you consider to be acceptable but if anyone else takes the slightest risk that you wouldn't then they are wrong. O...K.... then

Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/04/2017 14:44

Perhaps we should ban mouthwash whilst we're at it. Or deodorant.

Not to mention ripe fruit

treaclesoda · 04/04/2017 14:45

And ban cake made with vanilla extract...After all, it has alcohol in it, and why would anyone take the risk?

LBOCS2 · 04/04/2017 14:55

I read an interesting article while I was pregnant about the caffeine guidelines which basically said they weren't sure if the miscarriage risk was due to causation or correlation - much like the alcohol studies they're not going to ask different groups to drink 1/5/10 cups of coffee a day, so they look at actual caffeine consumption vs pregnancy outcome. The query arose as women with higher levels of nausea and progressing hormone levels are often likely to go off strongly flavoured and fizzy drinks like coffee and coke - so their consumption would be lower and their chance of a successful outcome higher, vs women whose hormone levels are lower, have fewer symptoms, and as a result of that drink more caffeine (and are more likely to lose the pregnancy because it was never progressing well in the first place). It could be enough to skew the results.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 04/04/2017 14:56

When you (collective you) say "I can't understand why anyone would drink while pregnant" you simply make yourself (collective) look rather unintelligent. I feel embarrassed for you (collective).

PerpetualStudent · 04/04/2017 15:01

Who are these GFs invading the thread with sanctimonious "well, it's not a risk I would take"?
Great, good for you, but what precisely are you trying to achieve by preaching on this thread, started and made 13 pages long exactly because a bunch of pregnant women were sick of being lectured at?!

ElisavetaFartsonira · 04/04/2017 15:02

It's interesting as well that a lot of the things we're advised to limit/avoid are things that pregnant women often have trouble with anyway, because of strong taste and smell. So for example I know why liver should be avoided, vitamin A, but I also know a lot of older women who couldn't stomach the smell and taste even when it was recommended to them as a good iron source. Things like prawns and certain cheeses have a very strong taste that a lot of us can't handle in the beige foods stage. Many women go off alcohol whether they were planning to still drink or not etc.

EssentialHummus · 04/04/2017 15:24

Eli - yes! I was worried (well, mildly aware) pre-preg of having to be careful with sushi/tuna which I then ate really frequently. I subsequently conceived just before a trip to Japan and ended up having to run past every sushi place in Tokyo because the smell was so revolting.

nursebickypegs · 04/04/2017 15:25

I get it endlessly and I'm 8 months.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 04/04/2017 15:27

I agree Elisa.

I went right off tea and coffee (let alone alcohol!) for at least half of my second pregnancy. Could only drink really weak summer fruits squash - won't go near the stuff now as I just associate it with nausea! - but I did feel so jealous of my pregnant friends who were still enjoying tea and coffee.

I'm glad I'm not pregnant now. My pregnancies were 16 and 13 years ago but, from the anecdotes on this thread, it seems like a different world.

ElisavetaFartsonira · 04/04/2017 15:36

I couldn't bear the smell of alcohol or coffee. Bleeurrrrgh. Fish was ok though! Shame I wasn't the one in Tokyo instead.

ethelfleda · 04/04/2017 16:01

I like that theory of pregnancies progressing because of higher levels of hormones rather than a lack of caffeine/alcohol
Incidentally I will be in the occasional.glass of wine category if my nausea ever settles down... the other day I poured myself a glass of fizzy apple in to a wine glass (just to feel sociable!) And I couldn't even look at it just because it looked like wine Confused
I also can't understand why people have wandered on to this thread just to be judgmental!! I'll do with my own body as I please thanks.

ellesbellesxxx · 04/04/2017 16:06

I have had the opposite...

Was buying some bread in co-op, pregnant with twins, quite obviously so!
The cashier casually asked if I would like some cigarettes? Please note I had never bought any before so it's not like I was a regular.. when I pointed out I didn't smoke and was quite obviously pregnant, he was quite unperturbed and just said that he thought he would check?! Confused

Mulledwine1 · 04/04/2017 16:07

Do people really need an alcoholic drink so badly that they'll drink while pregnant

Do people need an alcoholic drink so badly that they drink any at all?

It's probably better for you than the alternative soft drink eg cola that a lot of pregnant ladies will feel compelled to drink instead.

A small glass of wine will not damage the baby (or mum!).

Drinking two bottles a day probably will.

I didn't like tea or coffee until was about 15 weeks in but I drank tea and coffee after that.

ScrambledSmegs · 04/04/2017 16:33

I went out to a restaurant with DH when I was overdue with DC1, as a sort of last-hurrah. As being nearly 42 weeks pregnant can seriously fuck you off, I ordered a small red wine with my meal.

The man taking my order looked at me quizzically and said something like 'are you sure?'.

Fucked-off me: Yes, why?
Waiter: You're pregnant.
F-O M: No, I'm fat.

He went bright red and brought me the wine. I'm not proud of it but my choice was be sarcastic or burst into tears - pregnancy seriously did a number on my emotions.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/04/2017 16:36

He went bright red

Good, you have nothing to feel bad about. Interfering little busybody.

DollyLlama · 04/04/2017 16:52

Oh I forgot how much I have to look forward to now I'm expecting again!

This brings back memories of me sitting at my desk with a greggs cookie that I had been making eyes at all morning and saved for a cup of tea after lunch. Cue hungry Buddha over here lifting it to my mouth when I hear "ooh caffeine AND all that sugar is really not going to be good for the baby you know..."

My childless 18 year old air head colleague voicing her concerns at me got ripped into while my lovely cookie sagged like the Dali Clock and fell on the floor! I cannot begin to tell you what a write off of a day that was!

TheGrumpySquirrel · 04/04/2017 16:56

Scrambled ha ha! Good for you!

By the way, this is from the book Expecting Better (I'm surprised because I thought first trimester drinking was less relevant due to lack of placenta but that apparently not the case?). I'm looking forward to my one drink a day in Trimesters 2&3 (🖕🏼 )

Having food/drink policed whilst pregnant
MiscellaneousAssortment · 04/04/2017 17:07

I wonder if there's been any work done on links between taste/smell aversion in pregnancy and harmful foods? Would be interesting.

Funnily enough after being refused my coffee in Starbucks, nothing at all was said when I waddled into whole foods and straight into their cheese room for the stickiest runniest Brie they had.

I made it into Brie & grape on baguette, and took it to the hospital, it was the first thing I ate after having DS. It was lovely :)