To post a note through the door of the house we are trying to buy in the hope of persuading the vendor to sell it to us?

[feelinginthedark]

My sister and her husband did this when they were buying their house in London and I am tempted to try. Essentially we are in a bidding war; neck and neck with another party; we are both in equally good purchasing positions. We desperately want the house, and can afford to keep bidding, but the price is getting to the point where the house will no longer be good value (it needs work). The asking price has been well exceeded at this stage.

We feel that a note might make a difference to the vendor's decision because DH and I are essentially good people, from the area originally but have moved our family around annually internationally for years in order to train in our respective fields (in our work we both help people a LOT- don't want to say what we do as it's totally outing), and would love to give our two girls the chance to settle in a lovely house, down the road from their cousins and grandparents, before our eldest starts school in September.

Would that info in any way swing your decision if you were the vendor? Or is it borderline psychotic / unethical?

Sorry OP but your original post sounds very shallow.

I'm a nurse, I do masses of humanitarian work in my own time.

That doesn't make me a better person than most, and the same goes for you.

As a volunteer I find voluntourists (which I suspect you are as you seem to like to talk about it) annoying.

In fact, your intended letter sounds braggy, self centred and obnoxious. If I was selling a house and received your letter, I would make a point about not selling to you.

Glossolalia So you can address the copy of the letter to the EA by name.

We feel that a note might make a difference to the vendor's decision because DH and I are essentially good people, from the area originally but have moved our family around annually internationally for years in order to train in our respective fields (in our work we both help people a LOT- don't want to say what we do as it's totally outing), and would love to give our two girls the chance to settle in a lovely house, down the road from their cousins and grandparents, before our eldest starts school in September.

I'd find that particular wording creepy and pompous, sorry. Like you had successful sex twice and want congratulating for it are claiming to be such bloody superior humans that you deserve the house more than someone else ("we are essentially good people"? WTF?). Who are you to judge/assume what my house selling priorities might be?

If you'd just written "we love the house and would really love to live in it and are just re-iterating that we can move quickly, chain free, have mortgage approved blah blah", not so bad. But tbh you'd be better off asking for another viewing and trying to wangle it so I was in so I could meet you and you could just tell me to my face.

Why don't you book another viewing? Would the vendor be showing you around? Maybe a conversation might have more impact

Wouldn't sway me personally, but no harm in trying...

How to do you know that the other people haven't also got perfectly good and valid reason to be entitled to buy the house also?

Leave it to chance if it's meant to be it will be.

We used to live in a terrace house as a young married couple.

A builder knocked on the door one day, on behalf of our neighbours, wanting to do structural work on the party wall. Never mind a party wall agreement - he hoped that a word with us would make it ok, as 'they were a nice couple and had a baby on the way'.

I said that we were a nice couple too and that altough we didn't have a baby on the way, our life savings were tied up in our house and we were therefore going to be fairly cautious about anything affecting it! So I wasn't going to agree to something on the doorstep...

They didn't get a party wall agreement or do the work in the end.

Would do It, especially highlighting your jobs. I've had the same from someone in a nearby town. Think neighbours thought we were wanting to leave and had mentioned this to folk. We weren't moving.But folk obviously do try and plead their case, why Not?

I hate this. We sporadically get notes through the door. We live on a street that is very popular with young families and commuters, and is one of the first picks for people moving out from London.

It's always a bit gushy and smug: "We're Lucy and Ben, and we have lovely children Octavia and Augustus. We'd love to move from Crouch End and live on this street, so if you're thinking of moving, please think of us first because we'd make it a lovely family home!"

No. Fuck off! I work my arse off, so does my DH. If and when we sell this house we will be going to the highest bidder who does not dick us around.

we behave honourably and totally above board in all our dealings in house buying. Don't try to cute-sy us into selling you a house. It's also a massively competitive housing market here and if we're bidding against other people, we'll need all the money we can get to get the next bedroom.

I'd go for it.
It wouldn't put me off you at all. But at the same time it wouldn't change my mind.
I'd go with the highest bidder regardless of who they were or what they wanted to do with the property.

We tried this, well a version of this, whilst trying to buy a house a couple of years ago. The house was vacant but a nearby relative was selling it. They had an 'open house' with tons of viewers and it went to sealed bids. We knew someone reasonably close to the seller to put in a good word for us (and explain a bit about out background and the reason for wanting it - i.e. Good family home, catchment area for school etc).
However, despite our 'personal' touch and our connection, it still went to the highest bidder. Not us.
I think in these situations people are always focused on the money. No one wants to feel like they've missed out on a bit more cash from of the sale.
I really doubt it would influence them: the greatest influence (besides highest bid) is the purchaser being in a good position, and able to expedite a straightforward and quick sale.

The thing is, you're clearly nice people who want to do the decent thing. But from the vendors' point of view, they don't know you from Adam and you could be spinning them a right yarn.

My parents had something a bit similar - no notes through the door, but a young family who said this was their forever house and kept wanting to bring various people round (parents/grandparents/friends) to view it after the offer had been accepted. They persisted even when told my mother was recovering from cancer surgery. "Oh, we won't stay long, and we're so excited to show people."

They pulled out, on a whim, 2 days before Exchange.

I hope you get a lovely house, OP, genuinely I do, but the note thing would really irritate me, especially the implication that you should be able to stop bidding now because you are nice. House buying is not a morality X Factor competition, it's a business transaction.

Actually, the X Factor reference is a good point. It's as if all those sob-stories of people "doing this for Nan, who's dying of cancer and it's her dream for me to win this competition even though I'm shit at singing" are seriously going to count.

At the end of the day, the vendors should go with whoever is the best contender in terms of financial viability and position with regards to being able to complete soonest. Anything fluffy around the edges should be irrelevant.

Are you asking them to choose you over a higher bidder?

We have had several notes through our door from the same "couple" saying they are desperate to move to our street and can we contact them if we decide to sell. I googled the phone number after the third one and it is actually a developer and this is apparently a known trick. I would be put off by your note, OP, but if you were the highest bidder I would go with you all the same.

Looking at your OP again, the bit that strikes me is when you say that the house 'will no longer be good value' if you keep bidding.

Think about what you're asking - for the vendor to sacrifice additional profit, so that you get 'good value' when buying their house. Because you're nice people.

It's like you want to swerve the rules of capitalism. And that comes across as breathtakingly arrogant.

All the reasons why the house is perfect for you, the location, proximity to family and so on, are things that you pay more for if they are sufficiently important. Not reasons for the contest to be called off in your favour.

For what it's worth, I'm not sure there's any such thing as 'good value' in desirable areas in ROI nowadays.

In short, if you want it, pay for it.

It would make me call the EA and accept the others bid. I'd find it creepy, manipulative and rude. I couldn't care less if you're "good people" etc. How do you know the others bidders aren't. Eugh. It's such a self obsessed special little snowflake thing to do and would shatter your chances with me.

Money talks.

Some 4 years ago after objecting to a house in the close that we live being made into flats due to the abysmal issues with parking as it was we and everyone in the close had a letter pushed through our door citing ' my mum left my dad and me and my b/f bcant afford our own house and this would help and it's so unfair ' the decision was overturned .... how lovely was it that within 8 months of all the noise traffic and disruption they moved in ... only to move out less than a year later and sell both. So no don't do it it's desperate and unfair and they will tell your neighbors !

Do it. We are in our dream forever home because of a well worded letter through the letter box!

we got our house because i was pregnant.
we made an offer. got outbid by a developer. then another developer offered just over the asking price.
the estate agent told the vendor we would match the latest offer but that was our absolute max. she accepted that offer from us even though developers probably would have outbid us if they got the chance.

I wouldn't like it... I'd feel like you were trying to force me to make the decision somewhat, and usually when I feel like I'm being told what to do by someone I do the opposite.

So, I got a note through my door once years ago, with someone asking to buy my house, and providing all their details, etc.

I was very chuffed that someone liked my house enough to do that. I wasn't interested in selling though.