To post a note through the door of the house we are trying to buy in the hope of persuading the vendor to sell it to us?

[feelinginthedark]

My sister and her husband did this when they were buying their house in London and I am tempted to try. Essentially we are in a bidding war; neck and neck with another party; we are both in equally good purchasing positions. We desperately want the house, and can afford to keep bidding, but the price is getting to the point where the house will no longer be good value (it needs work). The asking price has been well exceeded at this stage.

We feel that a note might make a difference to the vendor's decision because DH and I are essentially good people, from the area originally but have moved our family around annually internationally for years in order to train in our respective fields (in our work we both help people a LOT- don't want to say what we do as it's totally outing), and would love to give our two girls the chance to settle in a lovely house, down the road from their cousins and grandparents, before our eldest starts school in September.

Would that info in any way swing your decision if you were the vendor? Or is it borderline psychotic / unethical?

It would freak me right out.

I'd worry that you'd be a total pain in the arse to deal with, honestly. People who try and put emotion into property buying aren't good buyers.

Highest bidder, quick settlement, money already organised is all that I'm interested in when selling.

I feel less comfortable with the idea of this, the more I think about it.

We did this and it did make a difference - we put a note through the door though - would not trust EA! They are only interested in their commission

I was also 'choosy' who I sold our house to - first time selling and this surprised me.

It was our first house and wanted to give a first time buyer their first step on the ladder

Think a "we'd like to buy in this street, would you consider selling?" note is fine. "Please pick us not them" note not so much. It just smacks of being cheap and a bit intrusive and selfish. If you'd struck up a conversation with them at a viewing and swapped numbers, also fine.

I've had people do this. I found it very annoying, intrusive and tacky and I immediately called my EA to tell them I wouldnt be selling to the note writers and not to accept any more bids from them.

Everyone interested in the house has a very good reason for wanting it, including investors. You're not special.

We've just bought in ROI and I agree that it's a very difficult market and essentially a mini bubble right now. However, the other party may be willing to go higher. In which case, tough because I'm sure the seller is most interested in the cash.

And the 'market rate' is surely what someone is prepared to pay at any given moment. There's no objective figure. The road we bought on saw one house go 100k over the asking price, for example.

A note could go either way. If I was selling, I'd find it annoying/manipulative and probably sell to the other party. Everyone has a good reason for wanting the house. It's a bit 'special snowflake' of you to assume yours trumps other people's. However others might find it compelling.

I'd just go in with any practical benefits you can offer. Not in a chain, can move quickly, can get deposit to them within 24 hours.

Think of the genuine advantages to selling to you and state them, don't resort to sob stories.

I'd feel emotionally blackmailed and a bit creeped out.
So no....I personally wouldn't.

Put it straight through the door outlining your position. If it doesn't work out a note through every other door of houses you like asking if they will sell, we did and we got another house out of it and the one we wanted to change their mind!

Everyone thinks they are good people and should get the house. What if the competing bidders are even better people than you?

I think you need to let the vendors work this out on the information given in a professional manner.

This is interesting! We have had several notes through our letterbox in the 10 years we have lived in our house, the notes are essentially asking for first dibs on the house should we wish to sell. I am not offended at all, rather flattered and if we were to sell and a note came through the door I would contact the note senders.

However my friend was in the process of selling her property and a bidding war started between two buyers, great for my friend until one of the parties called around with a sob story about how the wife was pregnant and had lost previous babies, the stress of losing the house could make her lose this one! My friend was speechless and felt so awkward as they had just decided to go with the other party. When the couple heard this through the estate agent they sent a letter basically repeating this story with more emphasis on how their lives would be ruined if she did not accept the offer!
It was really horrible for my friend and the Estate Agent was furious with the couple!
Slightly more extreme though than the ops suggestion!!

The fact that houses can for over £100,000 over the original asking price just goes to prove that house buying is an emotional issue, not a sensible, hard-headed business deal. People are idiots about houses - and some people are ruthless bastards and others game playing idiots. There is no logic or commonsense to any of it, no rules on whether you can or cannot write notes, or whether people will or will not be put off by them, and nobody to stop you offering more than you intend to pay and then pretend shock at the survey report and refuse to go through at that price. There is also nothing to stop a bank from refusing to agree a mortgage on a house deemed to be overvalued, so it is somewhat inaccurate to say the market value is always what the highest offer says it is - that depends on where the money is coming from. A sensible vendor will not just go for the highest offer, but will also assess how genuine the buyer's desire is for a house going for an inflated price, whether or not they need to move quickly, whether they are known theough the grapevine to have messed other vendors about already, and where their money is coming from. If they appeared genuine and pleasant to the vendor on meeting them in person, that can also make a difference - people prefer to sell to people they feel they might actually like or trust, however subjective.

We lost out on a house as the other bidder's children were the same age as the vendor's when they'd moved in.

First dibs is different, new pup. A couple of people, or was it just the one, have mentioned that already. I haven't minded those, it has made us smile and might have been useful if we'd planned to sell. No emotional backstory included either

My solicitor-colleague once had clients who chose who to sell to based on who they wanted their soon-to-be-ex neighbours to live next door to.

If I recall correctly, they turned down a noisy horrid family out of consideration for their neighbours. Could have gone the other way though if they'd always hated their neighbours!

Just because you 'help people' you think you deserve preferential treatment?! That's making me cringe on your behalf. DH is a medic (I'm guessing you both are too?) and does not have such an inflated sense of entitlement. I'd be mortified if he did.

Bad taste, IMO.

Our buyer asked the estate agent to ask us if she could approach us to plead her case! She was the higher bidder, but in a worse position to proceed.

We were happy to talk to her, and decided to accept her offer.

Although I want the most money, I am quite emotionally attached to this house and want someone to have it who will love it.

I think the "we are nice people" is not a good tack to take though. Most people consider themselves nice people, even the ones who are, in fact, cunts.

The loving the house and being near family is much better.

If you were up against a developer who was planning to demolish a nice home I think it would be reasonable to let the EA pass on the information that you would restore and care for the home as the seller may be interested in that.

If you're up against another family and you came to my home asking me to give you a discount and ruin their dreams because you're supposedly nicer, I would, should offers be evenly matched, sell to the other party. I might even give them a slight discount over you because I would decide you weren't very nice and wouldn't want to inflict you on my neighbours. I'd imagine you're very entitled and would cause no end of trouble about plants and lawns and parking and pets and whatnot. This may not be true but that's the impression your note would give me. Pushy.

What you're essentially asking is that the owner do themselves out of maybe £thousands because you don't want to pay the full price. I would consider that sort of thing only for a very good friend or if I had a personal interest in seeing the property saved from a developer.

I would sell to a family over a landlord or property developer I wouldn't be swayed by a person stating that they had grown up in the town (imo, this doesn't top trump people who didn't) and emotional slush blackmail would put me right off.
You say you can afford to pay more so bid higher if you really want the house.

I hope you get the house OP :)

Honestly, if I were selling a house again & you put a note through my letterbox, I'd be worried that you would turn up on my doorstep one day & reiterate the 'we are good worthy people' discussion & it would all get really awkward.

Not being offensive but trying to sell yourselves as better people than the other interested party does come across as smug and that you have a high opinion of yourselves. I would be more swayed by a note saying that you love the house, plan to remain in it for many years & would look after it. I do have an emotional attachment to my house and would rather sell to the people who would keep it in good condition.

EAs prefer buyers who are also selling through them. This is the only way to be sure the seller knows you exist.

We also just sold our old flat. It turned out the purchaser was buying through her property company, although had presented herself as an individual, which annoyed me a bit. Not enough to withdraw our acceptance of her offer and give the flat to the couple who were the undrbidders though!*

Ahh, so, OP... Money talked for you. You weren't swayed by people who actually wanted to live in your flat and went with the highest offer! Even when you found out it was a property business? Yet, you hope the people selling the house you favour you because of your situation? Sounds like double standards to me!

If you sell a car do you worry about who needs it more?

Wouldn't sway me either I'm afraid. It boils down to the money, and unfortunately I'd be putting my family before yours.