To post a note through the door of the house we are trying to buy in the hope of persuading the vendor to sell it to us?

[feelinginthedark]

My sister and her husband did this when they were buying their house in London and I am tempted to try. Essentially we are in a bidding war; neck and neck with another party; we are both in equally good purchasing positions. We desperately want the house, and can afford to keep bidding, but the price is getting to the point where the house will no longer be good value (it needs work). The asking price has been well exceeded at this stage.

We feel that a note might make a difference to the vendor's decision because DH and I are essentially good people, from the area originally but have moved our family around annually internationally for years in order to train in our respective fields (in our work we both help people a LOT- don't want to say what we do as it's totally outing), and would love to give our two girls the chance to settle in a lovely house, down the road from their cousins and grandparents, before our eldest starts school in September.

Would that info in any way swing your decision if you were the vendor? Or is it borderline psychotic / unethical?

I wouldn't find the note off-putting or irritating, but I'd still sell to the higher bidder.

There is nothing to stop you from doing this as far as I'm aware from a legal standpoint. You have entered into a contract to pay agency fees to the estate agent, which introduced you to the buyer. Money talks.

How long have you been bidding back and forth?
Can you get them to ask for best and final - if you are on an upward price escalator that sounds pretty unreasonable

You are trying to emotionally blackmail the vendor for no other reason than to save yourself money at their expense.

As you say you can afford to keep bidding, you either want the house enough to keep bidding until you win / are outbid, or you walk away.

If I were the vendor I would take a very dim view of your actions.

Anne - would you not understand that the purchasers are so keen on your house that they are willing to essentially sacrifice their dignity in trying to get it?

Best and final offers isn't really done in our jurisdiction, well at least I have never heard of it being done.

Gah, we said at the outset that we wouldn't get into a bidding war and that's exactly what we've done!

I'd find it pushy and a bit cringy, and it would sway me towards the other bidder. It's too personal, and I would worry that if I sold to you, you'd be the type to come round every 5 minutes during the process asking irritating questions and oversharing about your life.

House sales are business..When I sold my house. I really didn't care who lived there or the neighbours..

However you have nothing to loose. Legally you are doing nothing wrong.. I would however keep looking at other houses..

I would like something like that and might make a decision based on it. DP wouldnt, it would be about the cash and the details like moving date. That said, DP wouldnt hold it against the person doing it either so I think you should. EA if they want, if not just do it yourself.

Might as well give it a go...

Starlight yes we are continuing to look at other houses and have a couple of plan Bs.

We also just sold our old flat. It turned out the purchaser was buying through her property company, although had presented herself as an individual, which annoyed me a bit. Not enough to withdraw our acceptance of her offer and give the flat to the couple who were the undrbidders though!

Be careful op as this could go either way as they may decide to not sell to you because of the note. I know id feel bullied if it was me. It could also go the other way..in your favour. Just ge prepared for this.

Surely you could be the Virgin Mary and they would still go with the highest bidder.
As a vendor it would put me off and feel intrusive.
As an estate agent we always caution against client to client 'relationships' of any kind. You are paying your estate agent to advocate for you, use them. They don't sound very good to be honest.

I would do it, worth a try. Might just swing it for you.
When my friend was looking for a bigger house she put notes through the doors on streets she liked.

I had never heard of this but when we moved 3 years ago we had two families both trying to buy our house.
One of the families did put a note through our letter box. I thought it was nice-although in the end we did not sell to them because they still had to sell their house and other buyer was ready to go-
Had all things been equal this would have swayed us but we couldn't lose our purchase.
But then after our offer was accepted on the house we were buying we got gazumped and we then did the same thing-
Wrote a letter and put it through the letter box-introducing our family-spoke about how we loved the charm of the house (which did sway them a bit) so in the end we paid a bit more but avoided a bidding war.
I think if you extoll virtues of house and make them feel like they are leaving it in good hands it would be nice-people are emotionally attached and although money does talk sentiment does too....

The sellers are just looking for the best price, if that means a bidding war then so be it.
If I was selling and asking price had been exceeded, the next things to consider are whether the potential buyers are in chains or ready to move.
In your position, I would ask the EA to pass on that this is your final bid, and you are ready to move on x date, with details of chain, mortgage already agreed, no interests in fixtures etc (or whatever your details are).
A letter through my door about family and tugging at my heartstrings have no place with a business financial transaction. In fact I might think you would pay more.

I'd find it weird to be honest. A house sale/purchase is a business transaction and I would sell to the highest bidder, not the person trying to emotionally blackmail me.

You are paying your estate agent to advocate for you

Surely if you're the buyer, you're not paying the estate agent anything - their obligations are to the vendors.

Honestly, the 'we are good people because we help others' crap would put me off. Because people who aren't health professionals or work for big corporations are bad...?

It's a bidding war that benefits no one but the vendor. It wouldn't sway me in the slightest.

This would annoy the hell out of me and probably make me less likely to sell to them (if both offers were the same) as it seems like they are trying to get me to feel sorry for them/emotionally blackmail me. Just like those who post sob stories on competition entries believing it will give them a better chance.

It would put me off, like blackmail- I wouldn't want to ask personal questions of the other buyer so wouldn't take yours into account. I'd have to ignore it and go with money.

Also I'd feel it was a bit creepy that someone is popping notes through my door about a house sale, like the person is watching me, but maybe that's because I live alone.

They could be in the exact same situation as you though and that's why they really want the house.. if they were buying to let etc surely it wouldn't have been in their best interest to let the price get stupidly higher. It sounds a bit stalkerish in all fairness I would leave it to fate.

We had this once, it was gushy and cringey and I did not want to know that Poppy and Gus (aged 2 & 4) really wanted to live in our house- at that age I bet they did not give a stuff! It put me off them actually as it felt like emotional blackmail. We sold to the other couple in the end, they had a slightly lower offer but a better situation (nothing to sell on) and they did not go on about their kids all the time!

And yes a bit cringe mentioning your professions..

I would find it a bit creepy TBH and think you a bit desperate.

I know several people who have done this type of thing. It has been successful. So it's worth doing.

However, all the people i know who've done this have gone on to refurb the house and make a quick buck. Therefore I wouldnt be swayed by such a letter, quite the opposite.