To post a note through the door of the house we are trying to buy in the hope of persuading the vendor to sell it to us?

[feelinginthedark]

My sister and her husband did this when they were buying their house in London and I am tempted to try. Essentially we are in a bidding war; neck and neck with another party; we are both in equally good purchasing positions. We desperately want the house, and can afford to keep bidding, but the price is getting to the point where the house will no longer be good value (it needs work). The asking price has been well exceeded at this stage.

We feel that a note might make a difference to the vendor's decision because DH and I are essentially good people, from the area originally but have moved our family around annually internationally for years in order to train in our respective fields (in our work we both help people a LOT- don't want to say what we do as it's totally outing), and would love to give our two girls the chance to settle in a lovely house, down the road from their cousins and grandparents, before our eldest starts school in September.

Would that info in any way swing your decision if you were the vendor? Or is it borderline psychotic / unethical?

You're right, the vendor is paying them to advocate for them, which in the real world means sell to the highest bidder, not the person who saves the most lives or has the cutest kids.
Estate agent should have got some of your personal/family details so they can sell you a plan b when one comes up.

If you are going to send something do it through the agent but I can't see it making much difference.

Anne - would you not understand that the purchasers are so keen on your house that they are willing to essentially sacrifice their dignity in trying to get it?

But not so keen as to simply pay more than the other hopeful bidder?

Best and final offers isn't really done in our jurisdiction, well at least I have never heard of it being done.

Are you not in the UK then?

We had two potential buyers, same price. We were slightly ruled by heart (although mainly due to the fact they could move quicker) on the decision of who to sell to - someone who very obviously needed to be near family for health reasons.

I can't see the harm in trying.

Personally I wouldn't, but people do sometimes accept a lower offer. When we were offering for our current home the seller accepted our lower offer because she'd liked us when we looked round and she liked our reason for staying in the area (to be close to my elderly mother) but that all came out naturally in the conversation it wasn't a deliberate ploy.

We sold when the market was bouyant..We got a note from a young couple saying they really loved it..They had been outbid 3 times so far and didn't have more money for solicitors (Scotland) to get in a bidding war. We invited them for tea and biscuits and did the deal ...So yes go for it what do you have to lose

I'm surprised that so many people would look positively on this. I would find it pushy and a little bit self-satisfied and arrogant - 'we are so amazing with our amazing jobs we help people so much in and therefore we deserve preferential treatment'. And yes, you want to settle your children in a nice catchment area house. Doesn't everyone?

Sorry, and I do hope you get the result you want, but you did ask...

I've just sold my house and it would have swayed me.
Good luck OP, hope you get your dream home

Not sure if you are in the UK. If you are, I would be confused about your comment about your child entering the local school in September unless you lived very locally already. You will have missed the normal application round so will have to see what schools have places later.

Id find it quite rude, and also wouldn't know you from Adam and whether you're ven telling the truth!

If you don't think it's value for money now then the right house is still out there. Although if there's a bidding war the property there clearly is in demand so that's what you'd be buying anyway, work or not.

I would feel manipulated by a note and uncertain whether to believe it. However, when we sold our last house, the estate agent did tell us the prospective vendors' backstories. He even advised us against going with the highest bidder, because he thought they were likely to find a reason to drop their offer at the last minute with some excuse, or imaginary issue with the house, in the hope we'd accept it rather than have to go through the process again. We chose to go with one of the lower bidders, because they sounded like they'd genuinely love the house and would not mess anyone around.

Someone did this to us and we did end up selling them the house🙂. We in fact became friends with them too. Good luck!

Interesting. I'm a residential property solicitor/Estate Agent (in Scotland).

Quite a few people put covering letters with their bid to us outlining their circumstances when it's a closing date for best offers. And all of this is passed on to the vendors but it's done through official channels. If there's not much in it, it can swing it. Depends on the seller though. If I (as a happily childfree person) got your note, it would get my back up. But a wee old granny or somesuch might love it. I've also been asked to write covering letters for bidding at closing dates as well. Slightly makes me throw up in my own mouth but clients are often insistent that the vendor knowing this is their "dream house" and that they are 7 months pregnant with the next Messiah will swing things.

I would advise my client to be cautious about going with a buyer who put a note through the door. Sounds like they are trying to circumvent the process and it smacks of a tricky transaction ahead. I always tell clients to ignore texts/facebook messages from the other parties.

I'd do it. Certainly can't harm, . Though I'd post myself through the door so I knew it had arrived. Good luck.

Selling a house is a business deal. Emotion just doesn't come into it for me.

BTW - cover letters on offers should really be used to indicate relevant circumstances eg whether you are a cash purchaser/have a mortgage in principle/first time buyer/relying on sale of your own house. And whether you are getting your own surveys done.

Those things can help the Estate Agent decide which to advise the seller to accept. eg 5k less but a cash purchaser who can move quickly might be the best buyer rather than someone in a long chain who has offered the most.

This would really irritate me. If you like the house, pay for it. Doing your children a favour at the expense of my own? FFS.

Sorry to be harsh but what you are asking is that the seller lose out because you are such great people. That doesn't make you great people.

A lot of people do this now and they are not telling the truth at all.

My friend's Mum bought a house in Hove - knowing full well she was going to rent it out above market value straight away. She lied to the sellers saying she wanted it for her Son (my friend) and his imaginary wife and 3 children who were "suddenly moving to the area to live near" her...

She bumped out a young professional couple who had a 6 month old and it was the only house within their budget (because of the work that needed doing to it) and close enough to the commuter belt for Dad to keep his job.

Everyone was horrified. Including the sellers, after it all went through and came out in the wash. The horrible cow.

A note saying "our jobs help lots and lots of people and we have nice kids so you should sell us the house for less"?

I'd find that incredibly naive and manipulative and be concerned that you didn't know what the hell you were doing.

A house sale is a business transaction. That's all. The highest bidder gets the house.

Would put me off I'm afraid. I would probably think your intentions were good but I'd feel cornered, guilty and that you were being a bit pushy I think.

Would I be swayed at you sacrificing your dignity?

No. You are trying to pull a fast one and are expecting preferential treatment just because you believe you are special.

You sound very immature.

This is not at all the same as speculatively leafleting a street asking if someone is considering selling. This house is on the market and you want it. Either pay up or look elsewhere.

But how do you know the other buyers aren't in a very similar position? Why should your desire to have the house trump theirs in that scenario?

It's more likely to be down to who's prepared to pay more. It may well be the vendors need every penny they can get. You just don't know.

It worth a punt I guess but I wouldn't pin my hopes to it...

Oh, but emotion does go into the buying and selling of a loved home. I did not want to sell to a buy to let purchaser. I wanted to sell to a family I could imagine living in my old home and loving it as much as I did, especially since I was not moving very far, so would see them frequently. I made it quite clear to my estate agent that I was both selling and buying a family home and would neither want to buy from nor sell to anyone who was too mercenary in their approach to the transaction - if I felt like I was being ripped off in buying the next house, it would spoil the sense of it being a home. It was definitely not just about the money.

It wouldn't sway me. Sounds a bit smug tbh.

Estate agent then reported back to me on people he knew were lying, or were known by other estate agents to play dirty tricks with vendors or pull out at the last minute, or who he had reason to believe were being truthful. It worked for us - estate agent was very accurate in his judgements and we now know and get on very well with the family who moved into our old home.