Is it legal for a teacher to deny a child access to a toilet?

[NotTheMrMenAgain]

I have a friend whose DC, age 13, recently soiled themselves in class because the teacher repeatedly refused to allow them to go to the toilet (and were fairly dismissive about it, by the sound of it). It wasn't a small mishap - the rest of the class were dismissed and my friend called to collect DC.
Understandably, DC is mortified and horrified and my friend very upset and angry. There's been a verbal apology from the head of year to my friend, who said how upset the teacher involved was - but no apology from the teacher to the DC - the teacher had since ignored the child/incident.
AIBU to think this simply isn't good enough? My heart goes out to the poor kid, who knows what kind of mark it will leave and what sort of bullying/mockery it will set them up for.
Is it against a child's basic rights to deny them access to a toilet? It seems like cruelty to me. It this a common policy at secondary school? Apparently they aren't allowed to pop to the loo in between classes, only at break/lunch. When I was a teenager my periods were heavy and I wouldn't have made it til break without an accident!

Think there's a bit of missing the point here. Students should use the toilet between lessons and at break times - if school deny this then I would be fuming. However during lessons is a no, unless in dire need or you carry an exit card (most schools have these and are issued for variety of reasons, including medical issues). I'm sure as MN children yours (& mine) are lovely and would never ask to use the toilet unless they have to. But many, many students ask every lesson, disrupt lessons for others and also arrange to meet their mates P2 in the loos to cause trouble. I come back to the point that teachers can't just up and leave so neither can students. I have been bursting for a wee but I would lose my job if I just walked out of class. And if the kids went home telling their parents the class was left unattended for 5 minutes then parents would rightly he cross. So we have one rule for everyone and staff use their discretion about bending this rule. My colleague is v heavily pregnant and she can't just off and use the loo whenever she fancies & if she can hold it with a baby bouncing on her bladder then I'm pretty sure the majority of teens can.

Reading this has really upset me, I feel so much for that child and if it were mine the school would be hearing a lot more from me. I wet myself in simelar circumstances when I was 10 and all these (many) years later I can still remember the humiliation. It has had a huge impact on my life, panic attacks, refusing to do certain things for fear of being too far away from a toilet.I then went on to develop IBS. Those who r being dismissive I suggest u don't judge something u have never experienced yourself- it has far greater consequences than the initial humiliation. I too will be telling my children when they are older to walk out if they are initially refused permission.

Oh and I let kids use the toilet in return for giving me their mobile phone. It's amazing how many no longer need to go !!

KinkyAfro: I suggest a trip to the GP. My DD, assuming she has no medical issues, will learn to wait and go at break like everyone else.

I was bursting for a week but I would lose my job if I walked out of class, so what happened mumsneedwine did you piss yourself?

Fucking annoying everyone saying the kid should have held it in, do you seriously think she chose to shit herself in front of the whole class????? Seriously?

But I believe a healthy adult wouldn't need to - they are capable of holding it, recognising the need to go is building and planning accordingly.
In normal circumstances I would agree. However you seem to be (purposely?) ignoring sudden onset of illnesses. You do not always have a dodgy stomach on a morning of a day when you will be caught short with explosive diarrhea that afternoon.

Infact thinking about it, only 4 days ago I needed a crap NOW totally out of the blue even without any sign of stomach upset and it was after I legged it upstairs (if I had been out in public I have no doubt I would have ended up crapping myself) that the cramps hit

HeyRoly:

Of course I am not a surgeon. It was a hypothetical. The actual ins and outs of surgery are irrelevant to the point - the vast, vast majority of people are perfectly capable of waiting for the toilet. Millions of people do it every day.

Hate these policies. I think if you've asked more than once you should be allowed to go. Surely you can tell if I child is desperate?

I remember a girl at school being denied several times to go to the toilet so in the end she went under a desk removed her tampon, wrapped it in a tissue and dumped it in the bin. She didn't even get teased, everyone was just appalled it had come to that.

I can't imagine that happening now.

WankingMonkey:

I didn't ignore it at all. I said I would hope that a teacher would bend the rules in the case of a sudden onset of illness.

I don't need to see a GP thanks Trifle, I needed an urgent poo and went to the toilet because I needed to. It happens. I seriously hope one day it happens to you so you can appreciate the horror, fear, panic of wondering if you're going to shit yourself in front of lots of people.

TwentyCups:

With respect, are you serious? A teenage girl preferred to remove her tampon on public rather than wait an hour at most to go to the bathroom? How long had she had it in? Surely it is the responsibility of a parent to teach her that this was completely unnecessary?

KinkyAfro:

How rude.

The teacher will be caught in between angry parents and the senior management, it would be wrong to have a go at the teacher, for the decisions of others

But what sort of hideous human being enforced a rule to the nth degree to allow a teen to get to the stage of soiling themselves. Just abhorrent.

I am in awe of the numerous people who have been able to control their bladder and bowels (and uterus if they are female) throughout their whole school and working life.

I must be some sort of freak for although I have no diagonsed medical conditions, I have had moments of desperately needing the toilet else I would have had an accident. I thought this happened to everyone from time to time - after all periods/stomach upsets have to start at some point and no reason why this couldn't be during a lesson at school, or working hours.

I did not realise I was not the norm.

I think this is why it's important to teach your children that if you really do need to use the toilet, and the teacher says no, go anyway. That's what my mum did and it's what I had to do one day when my period started early.
I asked the teacher, he refused and I went anyway. I was almost suspended until my mother bear went in and tore the teacher and head of year a new one 😂

Yes urgent poos can happen, without medical condition, gosh the poor GPs would be up to their eyeballs if everyone visited them for every little twinge.

Oh how awful. Poor kid! The teacher should apologise to the child!!
I told my children if they really really REALLY have to go and haven't been given permission, to just get up and go.

I do understand the rules though. My own daughter wet herself at school once. The teacher personally called me to apologise for not letting her go and wrote a lovely letter. However, I told her no apology was necessary (though it was appreciated) and I gave my daughter a telling off. She learned a lesson from it that day. Apparently she and her friend had a naughty habit of going to the toilet during classes and at the same time and messing about. In this case she had cried wolf too many times and suffered the consequences.

That said, with teen girls in particular, I do believe that they should be allowed to go to the bathrooms when needed as there's few worse things than being stuck at school or college with a huge bleed through.

Oh no, her poor dc.

It's very difficult when it comes to these issues. As already said the minority ruin it for everyone else. My dd's school only have one set of toilets open during lessons and an adult outside them at all times as they were constantly getting vandalised etc.

I would assume a teacher would know if a child genuinely needs to go. Those who never/rarely ask are probably genuine. You get to know who takes the mickey by asking 5 mins after an opportunity to go, every day, then doesn't come back. If her dc does not normally ask to go I think the teacher should have let them go.

It's not a human rights issue though.

I didn't ignore it at all. I said I would hope that a teacher would bend the rules in the case of a sudden onset of illness.

Yes but then your further posts all seem to be about how no healthy person should need to go and so on. How surgeons would shit in the theatre rather than leave (as if surgeons are completely alone whilst operating?) and so on. Was a bit confusing. So you accept that anyone (even 'healthy people') might need to use the loo at short notice at some stage of their lives, maybe multiple times?

The school policy cannot be 'students are allowed to go to the toilet when they like' because you have essentially just made going to or staying in lessons optional.

In reality, no one wants what happened in the OP to happen, so teachers should be trusted to allow a student to go in an emergency.

But the policy has to be 'no toilet trips during lesson times unless medical evidence is provided'.

bigmac4me:

Not only have I never needed to go to the toilet so desperately that moment that I would piss myself without having known about it for some time (and having emptied my bladder/bowels at the last opportunity, knowing I would have to wait out the next couple of hours), it never happened to any of the hundreds of people I went to school with on my presence and it has never happened to any of the thousands of students I have taught. Almost all teenagers, if they use the bathroom at break, can hold it until lunch. Those that can't usually have a medical note. Those without a medical note will usually beg and they will look desperate, so a teacher will usually use their discretion. There is no reason to change the policy used by almost every school so that every student in your classroom could say they needed the toilet and walk out completely at will. That is totally unsafe and bloody stupid.

I would assume a teacher would know if a child genuinely needs to go

Really? Have you not met many teenagers? They are excellent at laying it on thick.

Trifleorbust thank God you are not a teacher in my childs school. You are so lacking in any empathy that it's depressing. And scary.
And your ridiculous analogy with a surgeon performing life saving surgery? Believe me, a surgeon pooing in his scrubs in an operating theatre isn't routinely encouraged.

OP this is horrific for the child concerned and the long term impact is frightening.

WankingMonkey:

I will accept what anyone tells me about their own body. But it is wry rare for that to happen and no reason to issue blanket policies that say students can go the toilet whenever they like.

*very