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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it legal for a teacher to deny a child access to a toilet?

1000 replies

NotTheMrMenAgain · 31/03/2017 12:21

I have a friend whose DC, age 13, recently soiled themselves in class because the teacher repeatedly refused to allow them to go to the toilet (and were fairly dismissive about it, by the sound of it). It wasn't a small mishap - the rest of the class were dismissed and my friend called to collect DC.
Understandably, DC is mortified and horrified and my friend very upset and angry. There's been a verbal apology from the head of year to my friend, who said how upset the teacher involved was - but no apology from the teacher to the DC - the teacher had since ignored the child/incident.
AIBU to think this simply isn't good enough? My heart goes out to the poor kid, who knows what kind of mark it will leave and what sort of bullying/mockery it will set them up for.
Is it against a child's basic rights to deny them access to a toilet? It seems like cruelty to me. It this a common policy at secondary school? Apparently they aren't allowed to pop to the loo in between classes, only at break/lunch. When I was a teenager my periods were heavy and I wouldn't have made it til break without an accident!

OP posts:
LornaD40 · 01/04/2017 21:07

How the hell would they know when he has a letter from a specialist detailing a medical need? Where the fuck did they do their medical training to know more than a specialist?
Because you would pass this information to the school. We would issue a toilet pass and email their teaching staff. I've probably issued toilet passes too leniently this year for fairly minor issues but am happy to do so, as long as they're not misused.

The main problem we find with leaving lesson for the loo is they go and loiter on their phones!

Universitychallenging · 01/04/2017 21:09

Did you miss my post where I said that the teacher claimed that the informaiton hadn't been passed on ?

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 01/04/2017 21:10

granny i wonder why at 11 they become so untrustworthy

Holy shit that sounds lile someone who has never dealt with a hoard of teenagers! Confused

Yogimummy123 · 01/04/2017 21:10

Boney I covered it that if my child were found to be going a lot I would look into a medical pr other cause for it, if it were bad behaviour I'd speak to the school & my child & work out a joint plan how to tackle it. I would expect that my child would not be immediately believed in that instance & id expect them to be monitored & face consequences for lying, which would hopefully make lying not worth it! Not to mention subsequent poor performance at school.
I'd still tell them to go if they were really desperate cos you can never predict periods or illness in school age kids.

techteach · 01/04/2017 21:12

Totally agree Talkingof

The reason most children request the loo is because they were to busy, and then assume that teachers will allow them to stroll in and out of class.

Yogimummy123 · 01/04/2017 21:14

I'll def be checking "toileting policy" when I choose secondary schools for kids! I'm far from the teenage stage yet & clearly teachers have a lot more exposure & experience. At my school we generally didn't go to the loo in class, mostly cos it would be embarrassing cos it meant you needed a poo or had period issues. No doubt things are different now with phones etc.
Is it poss to confiscate phones for the toilet trip?

grannytomine · 01/04/2017 21:15

techteach, presumably the teachers where I volunteer must have nerves of steel as they don't seem to get too worried about a ten year old going to the loo by themselves. The little ones, keystage 1, have loos off the classrooms so not a problem for them.

For some reason the teachers nearly always have classroom doors open so if a teacher pops to the staffroom and kids did start to riot, never happened in the 3 years I've been there, then they would be clearly heard in adjacent rooms.

If there are any kids with SN they would have a TA with them.

LornaD40 · 01/04/2017 21:15

Did you miss my post where I said that the teacher claimed that the informaiton hadn't been passed on?
Obviously, yes. (Titanic just hit the berg...)

Yogimummy123 · 01/04/2017 21:15

Are lessons not important or engaging enough? I'd worry I'd miss something when I was at school & not be able to follow when I got back if I was more than a few minutes

techteach · 01/04/2017 21:16

yes yogimummy you can confiscate phones

LornaD40 · 01/04/2017 21:18

They could confiscate phones but this takes more time when presumably that teacher is supposed to be teaching. And they aren't often always honest about having a phone on them.

grannytomine · 01/04/2017 21:18

Holy shit that sounds lile someone who has never dealt with a hoard of teenagers!

Just shows how things aren't always how they sound doesn't it.

Universitychallenging · 01/04/2017 21:19

DS is old enough that his phone when he was at school wasn't a smart phone it was just a brick for texting and phoning and had snake on it, so he certainly wasn't sneaking off to play on his phone or snapchat or facebook or anything.

MaisyPops · 01/04/2017 21:19

Before the hysterical medical need posts continue can i just repeat what other posters have said:
If a child has a medical need they can have a pass and can use it as required.

particularly intrigued by how many people claim to have had or witnessed accidents/stained chairs from periods. Only accident ive ever experienced as a student or teacher was a boy pooing himself in science at primary. He loved science so would never want to leave but his regular trips to the bathroom during english were a class joke (which he created). Based on some of these posts kids are incapable of going shopping, running, sitting playing xbox for hours without a break, out for wanders with friends because not having a bathroom on demand is something they cant deal with.

lottachocca · 01/04/2017 21:19

Lotta surely your DS's school are aware though and you have got him a toilet pass? School are aware that he has Gastro issues, but he has not needed a pass, it's been more pain related up till now - however his symptoms have escalated beyond what we had expected - they have a tendency to do that....so in the event that a teacher wanted punishment for a medical need - I'd have to object on the strongest terms!

Universitychallenging · 01/04/2017 21:21

DS school definitely had girls who had period stains on their skirts. It made the local paper at the time.

JacquesHammer · 01/04/2017 21:22

maisy well as an adult I currently can't be more than 1hr absolutely MAX before needing to change the heaviest duty tampon you can buy on days 2 and 3 of my period. I have to get up countless times during the night.

So yeah it's pretty life limiting at times which also might mean I wouldn't be able to manage a double lesson in a school

zoemaguire · 01/04/2017 21:22

So to those who say the world will end if students are allowed to go to the loo during class time - how come some schools manage absolutely fine then? Toilet breaks just were not an issue when I was at school - if you needed the loo you just informed the teacher and went!!!! The order of the school did not collapse as a result Hmm. If a teacher (above in the thread) teaching a group of kids excluded from regular school can cope fine with them going to the loo, what bloody excuse do the rest of you have?!

As for the 'kids ought to be able to hold it in' argument, are you suggesting that this child did it on purpose to make a point?! Sometimes people can't hold it in, that is just unarguable fact. How on earth is it possible to be so obtuse as to think that your own toilet practices are somehow universally applicable?!!

I bloody hate this power trip bollocks some schools and teachers go in for. Treat the kids you teach like human beings and they'll repay the favour.

Yogimummy123 · 01/04/2017 21:23

The thing is you'd need a crystal ball to predict some medical things.
Suppose best give a pre-emptive "my child is prone to UTIs or diarrhoea" letter at the beginning of school to avoid them soiling themselves in class...
glad I came upon this thread. I never knew schools were struggling so much.

MaisyPops · 01/04/2017 21:23

yogimummy you can confiscate phones
Can and do. They have to be off and out of sight/out of sound. We see it, its ours. There is a phone in student reception that any studeny can use if they need it.

Just wait until someone joins the thread saying 'well my child IS allowed their phone and if anyone tells them they cant or tries to confiscate it ive already told my child to refuse. And then ill report thay teacher/complain to the head because i know it all and my child is so much more wonderful than the other 999 kids' (you know, that group of delightful individuals who undermine schools at any given opportunity)

Yogimummy123 · 01/04/2017 21:23

Agree completely zoemaguire!

Universitychallenging · 01/04/2017 21:23

Adn you know what? doing the strikethrough thing doesn't mean people can't read it.

DS used to regularly have to pee behind bushes/first thing we did if we went anywhere was find the loo/the number of times we stopped on the way to somewhere and he peed at the back of the car.

lottachocca · 01/04/2017 21:24

MaisyPops Ds did come home on Friday after being out for 10mins walking the dog - he'd soiled himself - no indication immediately beforehand - extreme cramping and that was it. It was distressing enough without being at school and having to defend his unexpected need.

MaisyPops · 01/04/2017 21:24

JacquesHammer But thats the kind of thing thay a child would get a pass for so i cant see the issue.

Yogimummy123 · 01/04/2017 21:25

It is a different world with smart phones & iPads being used in school etc.
I think no phones out or used except for lunchtime would be a rule tho in some places less easy to enforce than others..

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