Could you share your husband?

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm watching a documentary about Mormons and it focuses on men being able to have more than one wife. I watched an episode last week too so I imagine it's an ongoing series.

Anyway, I always thought that the family set-up was one that all parties were happy with but in both episodes I've seen the families certainly aren't harmonious with some of the wives being jealous, resentful and appearing to not like the other wives. It all just seems very awkward and unhappy at times with some wives overtly displaying their anger and frustrations to the husband and I'm genuinely shocked.

I assumed it is done for religious/cultural reasons hence why I thought the women were happy to be one of many wives because they had a belief that it's the right way to live, but it appears they aren't all comgortable with it.

I'm just so surprised that some of the wives aren't happy with their way of life because I genuinely believed that the women were just as willing participants in the bigamy as the men were.

Is anyone else watching it?

[ThePiglet59]

It's quite ironic really. All the bitter women on here saying "Oh they can have him" and "I would be happy to share him"^ would undoubtedly be the first to whinge about 'dirty cheating bastards' if hubby looked around.

[expatinscotland]

'So basically the subsequent wives are forced to be reliant on benefits?'

A good many of them are and qualify for things like food stamps, Medicaid, tax breaks for dependents based on being a single parent, etc. because as pointed out by Herschel, it's illegal to be married to more than one person at a time in EVERY state in the US so they are not legally married.

[PlayOnWurtz]

I feel I already play second fiddle to his mother so another wife would be no different, at least it would be some company for me!

[BakeOffBiscuits]

No you can't have him, he's mine

I do feel for those wives, every single one of the men gives me the creeps

[Herhighness]

I wouldn't inflict my husband on another woman.

[DoublyTroubly]

I never understood the maths to be honest. Surely if there's equal numbers of men and women in a population and one man takes 4 wife's, there must be another 3 men that don't have a wife at all. I assume it dates back to when a lot of young men died in wars but how does it work these days?

[BakeOffBiscuits]

Herhighness I agree, you can keep Phillip to yourself

[PennyPickle]

It's quite ironic really. All the bitter women on here saying "Oh they can have him"^ and "I would be happy to share him" would undoubtedly be the first to whinge about 'dirty cheating bastards' if hubby looked around

I'm not bitter at all. I would quite happily share DH for the peace - providing his other wife shared his dirty laundry and fussy food preferences. I would love some quality time with my children, without having to bear the brunt of growling from an adult "only child", who has no idea of family life. What about you?

[Herschellmum]

But now I've said my did about them not being mormons ...

Yes sometimes I wonder if I could, I've got 4 kids, some days it's crazy, I would love an extra pair of hands around, I don't think I'd be worried about the sex thing, frankly with 4 kids my sex drive is in my boots 😂 ... however in practice no, it's very unnatural and way too out there for me, the set up is weird.

I do think marriage is "evolving" and does it matter as long as everyone is consenting and happy? However I very much worry this isn't the case. I think often those women feel pressured into marriage with these men, which seems the opposite of what must of us would identify as a healthy marriage.

[mummytime]

I spent a lot of time last week wondering which of the sons would end up being the ones pushed out.
In one family (the one with two wives and he was "courting" a third), they seemed pretty happy.
In the other the third wife seemed miserable, and botht the first two had jobs/careers outside the home. It was like she was the unpaid Nanny. The husband also seemed extremely immature compared to the other guy.

[HelenaGWells]

I find it a really wierd and uncomfortable idea. Definately not for me. I wouldn't want an extra husband any more than I'd want him to have another wife.

[ThePiglet59]

"I'm not bitter at all. I would quite happily share DH for the peace - providing his other wife shared his dirty laundry and fussy food preferences. I would love some quality time with my children, without having to bear the brunt of growling from an adult "only child", who has no idea of family life. What about you?"

Well you sound pretty bitter to me. Sorry.

I wouldn't share my OH for all the tea in China because I love her.

You don't sound like you love him, and perhaps should divorce and move on.

[Emboo19]

No, I'm a only child, I'm not good at sharing!
Would have loved a sister though so a sister wife is quite appealing, just without the sex with my bf.

My boyfriend says there's no way he'd want more than one partner, how the hell would he have enough time!

[Longdistance]

If they're willing to wash his skids... I'd quite happily share. That's if they want him at all

[Katedotness1963]

No. It's not a lifestyle that would make me happy.

[PigletJohn]

there is an additional problem that these family groups share with other polygamous cultures (and also with those who practice infanticide).

The have a surplus of adult males, without a proper family and home life of their own, who don't fit into the social order. They tend to fall into violent or antisocial behaviour, and are often ostracised and expelled from the community. Unless some kind of war can be arranged to use them up.

It is not just a feminist problem.

[picklemepopcorn]

I could share my husband, but not my kitchen, DCs or dog.

JUST SAY NO!

[PigletJohn]

not exclusively I mean

[ThePiglet59]

Do women really just want to be kept as one of a harem?
I have to admit that I'm surprised by this.

[PennyPickle]

Well you sound pretty bitter to me. Sorry.

I wouldn't share my OH for all the tea in China because I love her

Nawwhh! Aww lovely! That's fantastic to hear. I am sure you will be eternally happy .......

[BlurryFace]

I think it's an abhorrent sexist practise. As for sharing my DH? No, never. We're both strictly monogamous and quite possessive and agree that though the thought of involving another man or woman from time to time might be a bit...interesting...it would be too much of a gamble emotionally.

[Patriciathestripper1]

Yes it's done so men can have their cake and fucking eat it.
why do you never hear of a woman having multiple husbands?? I'll tell you why because she's too fucking smart. One mans fuckery is enough never mind 3!

[Isthisusernamefree]

So I'm watching episode 2 right now - sorry if anyone hasn't seen it, if so stop reading now SPOILER ALERT



So Abel's brother has died and before he passed away he asked if Abel would take his two widowed wives and his children into his (Abel's) family. Which involves marrying his brother's two widowed wives. But am I right in thinking Mormon's use the King James Bible where it states it's 'unclean' to marry your brother's wife? Basically, it's a religious problem, just like Henry VIII had with Catherine of Aragon? (Albeit used for convenience more than anything in his case)

So surely he can't do that?

[BarbarianMum]

Actually Patriciathere are a couple of societies in which polyandry is practised. Tends to be somewhere like the high Himalaya where life is so hard one man can't provide for a wife and family alone. The women tend to marry brother's (2 or 3) so the children are in some way related to all. Again, nobody seems very happy with the arrangement.

The system I like is found in southern India. Women sleep with who they like, and men provide for their sisters' children.

[228agreenend]

I presumed if you are entering a polygamous marriage you would know what it entails, but on the programme they seem unsettled. Is it a new phenomena?

To answer your question, I don't think I could share my husband.