To ask you how normal this is?

[pepsiandshirley]

Two couples, both married with teenage DC.

Have dinner together at home and then after a few drinks put on some music, turn the lights pretty much off, swap partners and spend the evening slow dancing in the dark.

Normal? Or not?

Ummm no. Not at all.

What an odd question.

What an odd thing to ask.

Who are these 2 couples?

Most definitely not.

I basically ran when I realised an evening was heading in that creepy direction!

Did you enjoy it ?

Errrrr

No

This isn't real, is it?

Definitely not normal! Not even in the same ballpark as normal.

Did I enjoy it

No, wasn't me..my parents

I'm in therapy at the moment, wondering if it's of any significance/worth mentioning.

Normal is a dot on the horizon when it comes to my childhood, so I thought I'd ask for opinions..

Nope. Just weird. Each to their own though. So long as they're all ok with it.

I remember the last thread on this topic. Didn't end well.

Not even on the same page as my normal...

Fuck it, I'll add it to the list.

Thanks all.

I think your parents were swingers op.

Good luck to you OP

Agree with the other posters. Very odd and weird and creepy.

Not into swinging personally.

Unusual. Very.

No not normal. But if that's what floats your boat and everyone involved is happy then do whatever you want

Grim and desperate, the worst bit is allowing teenage kids to be aware of it!

Did they have pampas grass in their front garden?

Tapandgo Wed 29-Mar-17 22:00:29
Grim and desperate, the worst bit is allowing teenage kids to be aware of it!

Sadly the very tip of an entirely screwed up iceberg...been in therapy over a year, not had a chance to mention this yet as we've been busy with the bad stuff

How am I still sane?

liz70 Wed 29-Mar-17 22:00:57
Did they have pampas grass in their front garden?

I shit you not we had pampas grass indoors in a big pot by the front door.

Fuck my life.

Fuck it.

Hey OP, anything that bothers you is worth mentioning in therapy regardless of whether you think it should or not.

But no; this isn't normal, sorry.

But do you know what, don't let that define you.

Your parents were swingers, had an open relationship? Maybe sort of permissive really sort of new age open kids are our friends type of stance?

You're in therapy. That's awesome.

Normal...as in, do most people do this? No, I don't think it's something that most people do. I'm not sure it's worryingly abnormal though - if all parties concerned were in agreement that it was something they wanted to do, then sure, it's unusual...but not harmful.
It has obviously freaked you out to some degree...sorry if it's upsetting you.

Thanks all..it's all part of a wider picture of sexual abuse in the family, so I guess this sort of permissiveness (especially within view of teens) I'm seeing as not great (i.e. probably contributed to other stuff).

I wouldn't say it bothers me on it's own..it bothers me if it contributed to the other stuff, though. I won't say more..

All views appreciated though, negative and positive!